In many societies around the world, cultural norms and traditions have long dictated that household chores are primarily the responsibility of women.

This expectation persists despite significant changes in gender roles and increased participation of women in the workforce. Understanding the roots and implications of this societal demand requires an exploration of historical, cultural, and sociological perspectives.

Historically, gender roles were often divided along lines that positioned men as breadwinners and women as homemakers. This division was influenced by various factors. In agrarian societies, physical strength was often valued for tasks like farming, which led to men taking on these roles while women managed household responsibilities and child-rearing.

During the Industrial Revolution, men worked in factories while women were expected to maintain the home. This further entrenched the notion that household chores were women’s work.

Cultural norms continue to influence perceptions of gender roles. In many cultures, traditional expectations persist that women should handle domestic duties, even if they also work outside the home.

These norms are reinforced by television shows, advertisements, and films which often portray women as primary caregivers and homemakers, perpetuating these stereotypes. Gender socialization begins at a young age, with boys and girls being taught different roles and behaviors.

According to sociologists, from childhood girls are often given toys and activities that mimic household tasks, such as dolls and kitchen sets, while boys are encouraged to engage in more active play.

Economic conditions also play a significant role in shaping household dynamics. In many modern families, both partners work. However, studies show that women still perform a disproportionate share of household chores, a phenomenon known as the “second shift”.

The modern phenomenon of the “second shift” can be understood in light of Islamic teachings on justice. Islam discourages overburdening one partner with responsibilities. A fair and balanced approach is encouraged, where both spouses contribute to the upkeep of the household.

Cultural Contamination and Its Impact on Gender Roles

Cultural contamination has influenced how gender roles are perceived in many Muslim communities, often blending non-Islamic customs with Islamic teachings. In some cases, cultural norms dictate that women must bear the brunt of household work, even when they have other responsibilities. This distortion of Islamic values creates an imbalance that contradicts the justice that Islam advocates.

The expectation that women should handle the majority of household chores can have significant impacts on their well-being. Balancing work and extensive household responsibilities can lead to stress, burnout, and mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. The physical demands of managing household chores can also take a toll on women’s health, especially if they lack support from their partners.

Women may have less time and energy to pursue career advancements and professional development due to the burden of household responsibilities. This imbalance can perpetuate economic disparities between men and women, affecting overall financial stability for women.

Delving into the influence of culture on gender roles, we can see how pre-Islamic traditions, colonial legacies, and modern economic pressures have shaped expectations of men and women in different societies. In Islamic teachings, however, both partners are equally responsible for creating a supportive and compassionate home environment.

Islamic Perspective on Husband Doing Household Chores

Islam emphasizes gender justice rather than gender equality and the concept of justice can guide the fair division of household responsibilities. Justice, in this context, means that duties are shared based on the needs, strengths, and situations of each partner. The Prophet Muhammad’s ﷺ participation in household chores provides a powerful example of how justice manifests in shared responsibilities.

To deepen the Islamic perspective, we can look to classical scholars from various schools of Fiqh who discuss household responsibilities. While the Quran does not explicitly assign domestic duties to either gender, the Islamic marriage contract outlines mutual support and cooperation between spouses. Both partners are obligated to help each other in a way that creates harmony, and household chores are part of this dynamic.

Scholars across different schools of thought, such as the Hanafi and Maliki schools, emphasize the importance of justice and cooperation within the family. The Prophet’s ﷺ example of mending his own clothes, milking goats, and helping with household tasks is a model of humility and shared responsibility that transcends rigid gender roles.

Helping the wife in the housework is considered among the noble manners and high moral standards. This is not at all a shameful act from the husband or a deficiency in his character, or a decrease of his status. It is confirmed that the Prophet ﷺ said “The best among you are the best to their wives, and I am the best to my wives." (Al-Tirmidhi- 1162 and Ibn Majah- 1977)

While the Quran does not explicitly mention household chores, it emphasizes kindness, cooperation, and mutual support between spouses. “And one of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who give thought”. (Quran 30:21)

This verse tells us the importance of mutual support and compassion in marriage, which could extend to sharing household responsibilities.

The Hadiths provide numerous examples of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ actively participating in household chores, setting a precedent for all Muslim men. Narrated by Al-Aswad “I asked Aisha (RA), 'What did the Prophet ﷺ do at home?' She said, 'He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for prayer, he would go for it’" (Sahih Al Bukhari, Hadith 6039)

Narrated by Aisha (RA), “The Prophet ﷺ used to mend his shoes, sew his clothes, and do all such household work as done by men at home”. (Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 24903)

Furthermore, it is reported that the Prophet ﷺ was seen milking his own goats. (Shama'il Muhammadiyah, Hadith 305)

Prophet Muhammad’s ﷺ example in participating in household chores provides valuable lessons on humility and the importance of shared responsibilities within the family. These actions emphasizes the Islamic values of mutual support and respect between spouses, contributing to a harmonious and balanced family life.

Studies indicate that when men participate in household chores, it leads to higher marital satisfaction and better family dynamics.

A Study conducted by the American Psychological Association show that children in households where chores are shared between parents develop a more balanced view of gender roles and are likely to replicate these positive behaviors in their own lives.

How Husband and Wife Can Help Each Other with Household Chores

A balanced and cooperative approach to household chores can significantly improve the quality of life and relationship satisfaction for both husbands as well as for wives. Here are few practical ways husband and wife can help each other with household tasks.

Husbands can.....

• Help with preparing meals, even if it’s just chopping vegetables or washing dishes as wife cooks.
• Take turns planning and cooking meals. This can reduce the burden on one partner and a good idea to introduce variety and taste in the menu.
• Participate in regular cleaning tasks like vacuuming, dusting, and mopping floors.
• Help with daily routines like bathing, dressing, and feeding children.
• Engage in activities with kids like reading stories, helping with homework, or playing educational games.
• Help with sorting clothes and organizing wardrobes.

Wives can....

• Collaborate on budgeting and financial planning to ensure household expenses are managed effectively.
• Share the responsibility of paying bills and tracking household expenses.
• Assist with gardening tasks such as planting, watering, and weeding.
• Participate in basic car maintenance tasks like washing the car.
• Share the responsibility of grocery shopping and running other household errands.

Husband and wives both can....

• Provide emotional support and encouragement to each other especially during stressful times.
• Maintain open communication about household responsibilities and work together to resolve any issues.
• Clean the house together, dividing tasks based on preference or efficiency.
• Cook meals together as a bonding activity and share the workload.
• Alternate duties such as taking kids to school, attending parent-teacher meetings, and organizing play dates.

Conclusion

The Islamic perspective, as illustrated by the Quran and Hadiths, encourages men to actively participate in household chores, promoting a balanced and supportive family environment. This approach contrasts with many cultural norms that place the burden of domestic work solely on women. By following the Prophet’s ﷺ example and embracing shared responsibilities, Muslim men can contribute to healthier, more equitable, and harmonious households.

Social organizations and contemporary research further validate the benefits of shared household responsibilities, highlighting its positive impact on marital satisfaction and child development. By embracing a scientific understanding aligns with Islamic teachings husbands and wives can foster a more just and compassionate society.

Alima Ahmad is an accomplished children's book author and developmental practitioner based in New Delhi, India, with over 15 years of experience. She holds a Master's in Social Work from Jamia Millia Islamia and integrates her expertise in social work with her passion for writing, addressing critical socio-religious issues through a unique blend of faith and science. Alima has held leadership roles in NGOs and organizations such as Must Have, Striipes, and the Delhi Disaster Management Authority. Her books include the Islamic Quiz Book and Colors of My Dua, and her articles have appeared in respected publications like Aljumuah.com, Islamicity.org, and The Times of India.