At 18 years old, Dr. Tamar Gray was a devout Christian, deeply involved in her faith—until a crisis of belief shook her to her core. As a young feminist, she struggled with the idea of worshipping a male God and a male savior in Jesus (peace be upon him).

"How can I reconcile my faith with the oppression of women?" she wondered.

Her search for truth led her to a university course on the Old Testament—and ultimately, to Islam.

The Crisis of Faith: Questioning Christianity

Growing up in St. Paul, Minnesota, Tamar was the most religious in her family—attending church camps, youth groups, and mission trips. But as she became more aware of women’s struggles—sexual harassment, workplace discrimination, and societal oppression—she began questioning her faith.

The Breaking Point

• "God is male. Jesus is male. I’m asked to worship a male figure—but where does that leave women?"
• Enrolling in an "Introduction to the Old Testament" class, she hoped to reaffirm her faith. Instead, after just three weeks, she could no longer remain Christian.

The Search for Truth

Leaving Christianity behind, Tamar embarked on a spiritual quest—studying different religions, except Islam (which she knew almost nothing about).

Then, a chance conversation with a Muslim classmate changed everything.

The Turning Point: Discovering Islam

A Conversation That Changed Her Life

• When she asked an international student about his religion, he replied, "I’m Muslim."
• Shocked, she thought: "He seems so… normal."
• He mentioned his sister wore hijab—which intrigued her as a feminist. "Could this be a tool against sexual objectification?"

The Quran’s Answer

That night, she opened the Quran randomly—and landed on Surah An-Nisa (4:124):

"But whoever does righteous deeds, whether male or female, while being a believer—those will enter Paradise and will not be wronged, [even as much as] the speck on a date seed."

"Islam has equity between men and women in faith?!" she realized in awe.

Her Shahadah Moment

With no prior knowledge of Islam, she took a prayer guide from her classmate, performed Salah for the first time, and made a heartfelt dua:

"Oh God, if this Quran is Your word, then I’m Muslim. If not, tell me now—because I don’t want to do this."

When she raised her head from sujood, she knew—she was now a Muslim.

Challenges & Triumphs as a New Muslim

Struggles of a Convert

• Lack of resources (pre-Internet era): She had to rely on books and people.
• Cultural clashes: Moving in with Malaysian Muslim sisters, she learned about Tahajjud (night prayers) and the power of spiritual discipline.
• Isolation: At one point, she stood on a street corner, crying out: "Ya Allah, take care of me—I don’t know how much longer I can do this."*

Finding Sisterhood & Scholarship

Allah answered her dua by connecting her with a Syrian Muslim scholar who became her mentor. "I needed women teachers," she reflects—a lesson she now emphasizes for Muslim women today.

Lessons for Muslim Women Today

1. Islam Honors Women’s Full Humanity

• The Prophet ﷺ interacted with women as complete individuals—not stereotypes.
• From Aisha’s (RA) scholarship to Khadijah’s (RA) leadership, Islam celebrates diverse female roles.

2. Hijab is Fardh—But the Struggle is Real

To any sister considering removing hijab, she advises:

• "Your struggle is likely environmental—find better community."
• "If you’re wearing hijab but not praying, start praying first." (Shaytan tricks us into thinking removing hijab will make faith easier—it doesn’t.)

3. Seek Knowledge & Sisterhood

• "We need female scholars and teachers."
• "Women must support women spiritually and emotionally."

Final Message to Non-Muslims

"That emptiness inside you? Islam can fill it."

• It answers life’s biggest questions.
• It gives purpose, clarity, and divine connection.

To Muslims, she leaves a powerful reminder:
"The Prophet ﷺ treated women as full human beings. We must do the same."