My Dear Osama

My Dear Osama,

I hope you are doing well and that your kidneys are not giving you much trouble.

I don't know where to begin to thank you for your great contributions to my cause and ambitions in dominating the region and crushing the Palestinian will and hopes. For long, I have wondered how I could do that without attracting too much attention from the international community, especially the Americans. I don't worry to much about the Arabs because their leaders are still in a coma since 1948. The main issue was, I did not know how I could inflict more death and destruction upon the Palestinians without angering or embarrassing the Americans. But thanks to you, everything is going well now. I really appreciate your help. 

Since the successful 9/11 attack on America, I have been able to carry out my plans to the letter. I convinced the Americans that I am not oppressing the Palestinians but I too am fighting TERRORISM. I convinced them that the Palestinians are just as bad as Alqaida and as dangerous to US and Israel. I got the green light to assassinate, kill, crush, destroy, occupy, massacre... you name it, I did it, and with American weapons and sympathy ... Thank you, so much. The Palestinians are burning American flags along with the Israeli flags. ... which is just perfect. And my people have elected me again to "protect" them from Palestinian "TERROR" ... don't you just love the sound of this word? It is so magical to me.

Can you believe that they even let me imprison that helpless Arafat in his compound all this time and destroy all of his forces, so he can neither control his people nor defend them? Who could ask for anything more? An Israeli PM's dream come true. I can target shoot at will, just like I do on my grandson's Nintendo game.

Also, I convinced the Americans again that I too need billions of dollars to fight terrorism and protect American and Israeli interests in the region. They believed me. It's going to be a good year.

One of the most important things you have helped me with, is to convince George to take care of Saddam for me. I couldn't even dream of this with out your help. All these initiatives have put me in a very strategic position to dominate the entire Middle East... actually the entire world .. because I can convince George to do anything for me.

I will be eternally grateful for all your help.

Please take care of yourself and wish you best of luck in your hide and seek game. Sorry to rush, but I have many "thank you" letters to write to the Arab and Muslim leaders for their support by not making too much waves.

Shalom, oops, I mean Salaam.

Yours' truly,

PS. Please follow regular communication protocol and destroy this letter after you have read it.

(Note: The above letter is fiction. Or is it? !)