Finding ways to end the state of fear for American Muslims

The anxiety levels rise and fall in synchronization with the level of alert. It is this never ending roller-coaster ride that seems to be taking a heavy toll on Muslims. Two weeks ago, in the midst of the state of high alert, my brother-in-law called my children, saying that he had three free tickets for the Mets game that evening. My son and middle daughter jumped at this chance.

They were all ready to leave when my wife and I arrived home that evening. We were aghast. With her hijab (headscarf), our daughter is easily identifiable as Muslim. To send her into the charged atmosphere of a ballpark was out of the question. My daughter, the most athletic member of our family, tried arguments like, "Mom, I am bigger than my brother," or, "But dad, there are lot of policemen in there." But nothing would sway us. My son went with his uncle, and my daughter sulked for days.

The last twenty months have been a very stressful time for all Americans but more so for the Muslim Americans. Some mothers pulled their sons out of Little League after Sept. 11, hearing of unrelated reports of mistreatment in the schools, never to send them back. Muslim riders on Long Island trains admit to becoming extra cautious every time the headlines in the city tabloids that their fellow travelers read, get shriller.

Our rampant fears are already inflicting far-reaching psychosocial trauma on our children. They are just as fearful as we are. We hear it in their questions. The younger ones ask, "Will there be more wars?" or "Why is the president not saying sorry when children in Iraq are killed?" or "What do 'towel head' and 'camel jockey' mean?" And many older ones have exhibited clear signs of stress, like falling grades and behavioral and mood problems.

The paranoia many of us feel even consumes our social gatherings. At parties and other events that are supposed to be joyful, stories are told and stories are retold of harassment of women drivers, of arrests and deportations, of families losing homes and becoming destitute, of expecting mothers separated from husbands who are jailed for technicalities or minor immigration infarctions, of families returning to their countries of origin, causing great distress to their American-born children.

As expected, along with the discussion of the terrorist incidents, the blame game is also played. Osama and Al-Qaeda get the major share of the blame followed closely by the neo-conservative and Israeli supporters for trying to use the terrorism fears to politically marginalize the American Muslims. The media, especially the right wing media institutions and commentators, get their fair share too. The missing element in this appropriation of blame is
the Muslim leadership, that has been insular, disunited and more reactive than proactive. It gets the blame but not as much as it should.

Before September 11th Muslim leadership was trying to leap frog into position to claim their proportionate share of political power. They thought that the way to do so was by stressing the rising Muslim population figures and giving political donations. They did this even as most mosques, even in large Muslim communities around the nation, have no well-established self help programs such as legal aid for their members, nor projects such as soup kitchens to serve poor or needy fellow citizens.

In the meantime, a debate about the community's role in improving the environment is now taking place. Many are asking for accountability and elections in mosques. Young people are asking to get involved with local social justice issues. At the same time, Muslims who come from more pluralistic and democratic societies as well as second-generation Muslims born and raised in America are becoming more assertive. They want the focus of community not be exclusively focused on fighting discrimination against Muslims but be broadened to include addressing the problems of the larger American society.

I got an opportunity to drive this point home to my children. My oldest daughter, a precocious, intelligent and sensitive young woman of sixteen had to decide which college she would go to next year. She had several offers, some with full scholarships from some very prestigious institutions. But we were fearful of sending her away in these uncertain times, especially as she has chosen to wear the easily identifiable Islamic headscarf, the hijab. We finally decided for St. Johns, a good college, which she can commute to our home on Long Island

She was in tears as we were discussing and at one point said, " you came to this country to escape discrimination in India, where would my generation escape to".

This was a very emotional moment, but the desperation of it also gave me the opening to answer her. "Since you will not have any place to escape to, it will give you the resolve to stay and fight. Do not be negligent as we were, nor take your freedoms for granted".

I always felt guilty about leaving India as hundreds of thousands of educated Muslims do, bearing the guilt of leaving tens of millions of their less fortunate brethren behind. India is a secular democracy, the land of Gandhi, but its pluralistic ethos has increasingly been under siege. After independence, people took the constitutional freedoms for granted. Extremists among the Hindu community espousing a hate based ideology called Hindutva worked insidiously to infiltrate schools, local governments, law enforcement and even judiciary. Text books were changed and under the guise of "glorification of India" and mythology was taught as history. Under the name of patriotism, Muslims and Christians were labeled as foreign agents and fifth column.

A few months after September 11th, a train carrying Hindu militants was attacked and burnt by a mob trying to free a female tea vendor reported to have been kidnapped by the militants. The militants escaped but fifty eight innocent Hindus were killed including women and children. Hindutva militants then used this event to unleash a well planned pogrom with the full complicity of the government, as reported by Human Rights Watch, in the state Gandhi was born. According to Human Rights organizations, 2000 people were killed and hundreds of women and young girls were gang-raped and burnt alive. Not a single person has been brought to justice.

Last month, Smita Narula of Human Rights Watch and Harsh Mander, a top ranking Indian bureaucrat, who resigned in protest at the state complicity, spoke in New York on "Gujarat a year after." Mander's resemblance to Gandhi is not limited to his facial features, frailness and hesitating speech, but also to the causes he espouses. He talked of the complete economic blockade of Gujarati Muslims with the full complicity of the government. Narula spoke about the lack of Justice and her survey of Indian elementary school children who overwhelmingly justify the pogrom. They were both trying to raise concerns that the Hindutva-extremists, having used the pogrom to win the elections, now seem to have a "winning formula" to repeat in other states.

I told my children, the type of people who killed Gandhi now rule India. Indian Muslims were insular and inward looking. "Do not make the same mistake". We talked about the German Jews and the fact that their assimilation did not save them. I said to my children "you must be part of the larger community but that will not be a guarantee that you will be saved.  What you must try is actively work with all who are fighting for Civil Rights and Justice and to keep the democratic institutions strong so that you are working to save the larger community and not just the Muslims. You would then be doing your highest patriotic duty.