Why do I just suck at religion?

Dear Hadi,

Dear Down on My Faith,

Thank you for your question.  Your feeling and your struggles are by no means unique.  It may seem to you that you are doing worse than others, but you don’t really know that.  Have you ever heard the ducks analogy?  They look so peaceful floating on top of the water, but beneath the surface, they are paddling furiously.

To be more specific, we believe (and only God knows – this is just our opinion) that judgement is individualized.  Only God knows your past and how it has predisposed you toward religion,  your innate weaknesses, your innate spiritual capacity, and so on.  Therefore, if people are given different innate abilities and have different experiences which shape them, how can they be judged on the same scale?

Let us go to the end of Surat Al Baqarra, the first part of verse 286 (Quran 2:286):

“God does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear,” (Asad)

That is the translation of Muhammad Asad.  However, other scholars translate it differently, and we believe more accurately:

Shakir:  Allah does not impose upon any soul a duty but to the extent of its ability;

Pickthall:  Allah tasketh not a soul beyond its scope

Sarwar:  God does not impose on any soul a responsibility beyond its ability.

Therefore, this part of the verse is talking about our obligations to Allah SWT.  We may think we all have the same set of responsibilities, but the verse says that each person’s (nafs, individual) responsibility is tied to their capacity, and people’s capacities differ, so it is an individual judgement. 

Let’s look at another verse of the Quran, from surat al-Taghabun (Quran 64:16):

“So be mindful of Allah to the best of your ability, hear and obey, and spend in charity—that will be best for you. And whoever is saved from the selfishness of their own souls, it is they who are truly successful.”

Remain conscious of God – have Taqwa – to the best of your ability  – that is the obligation.  Now, do we believe that the “ability” is the same for each individual, or do people have different capacities, and therefore, different levels of obligation?  We definitely believe in the latter and Allah SWT knows best.

What the verse is saying is that you should sincerely do your best, and not worry about an absolute standard regarding what you have achieved.  Perhaps (as we believe) what is most important is the effort and not the result.  You probably won’t hear that opinion much in Islamic discussions, but we believe it is true (and God knows best).

How can we justify that?  Look at surat al-Najm, verses 39-40 (Quran 53:39-40):

“And that man hath only that for which he maketh effort.  And that his effort will be seen.” 

For verse 40, we especially like the translation of Shabbir Ahmad:

“And that his effort (and not the outcome) will be seen.”

Regarding your concern about thinking bad thoughts, let us try to comfort you with the following hadith of the Prophet (pbuh) found in the collections of both Bukhari and Muslim (the two strongest hadith books):

“Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, will forgive my ummah for whatever crosses their minds so long as they do not act upon it or speak of it.”

So, if you feel that you are not good at religion, you basically have two choices:

1.  Use that as a reason (or excuse) to give up (as Satan would love for you to do)… or

2.  Put your trust in God’s mercy, and keep trying, and meet God with that effort, without worrying about an absolute standard.

Based on what we have said above, we sincerely suggest option #2.

Finally, consider the possibility that you are trying to enter faith through a doorway that has not yet been opened for you.  What do we mean by this cryptic statement? 

Perhaps, for example, you are trying to feel a certain spiritual high, or be in a state where you weep in your prayers from awe before Allah SWT.  Those are certainly great things to strive for and beautiful things to achieve.  However, maybe for now, instead of focusing on the emotional experience, take faith from an intellectual perspective and try to walk through that doorway. 

Do you believe that this universe was accidental and random, or do the scientific findings in physics and chemistry and cosmology and biology convince you that it was created and has a purpose?

Do you believe that the struggle you are now going through has a point, or is just an illusion?

Do you believe that people can behave any way they want without consequence, or will there be a recompense for goodness and a recompense for evil?

What of the myriad of prophets who said they were sent by God and who taught the same basic message and gained no personal benefit from their efforts?  Were they truthful, or just all trying to perpetrate a scam on their people?

Does it make more sense that the numerous reports of near-death experiences (across multiple cultures and faith groups) with some glimpses of the life beyond are real, or are these just people experiencing a nearly identical set of delusions?

Perhaps try to focus on what makes the most sense to you in answering these questions – what satisfies your intellect more?  Then perhaps what enters your mind will eventually find its way to your heart, and you will find the peace in faith that you seek.

We wish you all the best, and thank you for being brave enough to put yourself out there by asking your question.

In peace,