Dear Hadi,
I'm a female recent revert, still learning the ropes, as it were
To be honest in an ideal world I would wear the Hijab all the time because I understand and feel very personally what it represents (what it's protecting me from), and I feel better in some kind of way wearing it
But for various reasons (including the politics of living in a small, un-diverse mountain town) I currently don't, and don't believe I will
My questions are
1. if I visit any Masjid or Muslim event (like a potluck organized by local Islamic Society), would it be best for me to wear it? Like, is it bad if I show up without it?
2. during Ramadan I have felt a weird inner pressure to wear it - if nothing else, to remind myself I am involved in a process and to remind others that they should not offer me food/drink. But because of how it makes me nervous where I live and because I come out as Muslim in my community, I can't resolve the conflict about it
3. in the West, is it more accepted to be a Muslim woman in good standing and choosing not to wear it ever, or is it really something that at some point I need to take up? If so, any tips on transitioning towards that?
Any other insights about this question are very welcome
asalaam alaikum
Dear Struggling with Hijab,
Thank you for your question and for your honest assessment of the struggle you’re facing. Hijab is one of those issues that people feel very strongly about. For sake of clarity, when we use the term hijab, we are referring to a woman’s head covering. At the end of the day, whether you wear the hijab or not is a decision you must make in accordance with your own personal beliefs and comfort level. In the meantime, we’ll offer you our understanding of a few perspectives and try to provide you our best advice regarding the questions you laid out.
While we will explore the Quranic verses that are most associated with hijab, we do want to start by noting that the four traditional schools of Islamic thought all consider hijab to be a required part of a Muslim woman’s obligation to dress modestly.
That being said, we do think it’s important to look at the verses about hijab in the Quran. The first of these are in Sura 24 (Noor), verses 30-31:
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity: this will be most conducive to their purity. Verily, God is aware of all that they do.” (Qur’an 24:30)
“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity, and not to display their charms [in public] beyond what may [decently] be apparent thereof; hence let them draw their head-coverings (“khumur”) over their bosoms. And let them not display [more of] their charms to any but their husbands …” (Qur’an 24:31)
Firstly, we note from these verses, that modest dress of course is not limited to Muslim women, but is also incumbent upon Muslim men. The injunction here is for women to use the veil they ordinarily had upon their heads to cover their chest.
Muhammad Asad, the renowned and respected Quranic commentator, notes the following with regard to verse 24:31:
“Although the traditional exponents of Islamic Law have for centuries been inclined to restrict the definition of “what may [decently] be apparent” to a woman’s face, hands and feet – and sometimes even less than that – we may safely assume that the meaning of illa ma zahara minha (“what may [decently] be apparent”) is much wider, and that the deliberate vagueness of this phrase is meant to allow for all the time-bound changes that are necessary for man’s moral and social growth. The pivotal clause in the above injunction is the demand, addressed in identical terms to men as well as to women, to “lower their gaze and be mindful of their chastity”: and this determines the extent of what, at any given time, may legitimately – i.e., in consonance with the Quranic principles of social morality – be considered “decent” or “indecent” in a person’s outward appearance.
“The noun khimar (of which khumur is plural) denotes the head-covering customarily used by Arabian women as an ornament (not as hijab to cover their head) before and after the advent of Islam. According to most of the classical commentators, it was worn in pre-Islamic times more or less as an ornament and was let down loosely over the wearer’s back; and since, in accordance with the fashion prevalent at the time, the upper part of a woman’s tunic had a wide opening in the front, her chest was left bare. Hence, the injunction to cover the bosom by means of a khimar (a term so familiar to the contemporaries of the Prophet) does not necessarily relate to the use of a khimar as such but is, rather, meant to make it clear that a woman’s chest is not included in the concept of “what may decently be apparent” of her body and should not, therefore, be displayed.”
To us, and God knows best, it seems the main import of this verse is for women to begin covering their bosoms, something their clothing at the time did not naturally do. We would be hard-pressed to universally mandate the hijab upon women based on this verse.
The second set of verses often associated with hijab are found in Sura 33 (Al-Ahzab), verses 58-59:
“And as for those who malign believing men and believing women without their having done any wrong – they surely burden themselves with the guilt of calumny, and [thus] with a flagrant sin!” (Qur’an 33:58)
O Prophet, tell thy wives and thy daughters, as well as all [other] believing women, that they should draw over themselves some of their outer garments [when in public]: this will be more conducive to their being recognized [as decent woman] and not be harassed. But [withal] God is indeed much -forgiving, a dispenser of grace.” (Qur’an 33:59)
Once again, Muhammad Asad’s commentary on verse 59 is instructive:
“The specific, time-bound formulation of the above verse (evident in the reference to the wives and daughters of the Prophet), as well as the deliberate vagueness of the recommendation that women ‘should draw upon themselves some of their outer garments (min jalabibihinna)’ when in public, makes it clear that this verse was not meant to be an injunction (hukm) in the general, timeless sense of this term but, rather a moral guideline to be observed against the ever-changing background of time and social environment. This finding is reinforced by the concluding reference to God’s forgiveness and grace.”
Furthermore, this verse gives, within its very words, the reason for the recommendation of using some of one’s outer garments to cover one’s body. This reason is so that the woman would be identified as a decent woman and not be harassed. Many people seem to ignore the last part of this verse (“… and not be harassed”). If wearing the jilbab (or hijab) would lead to opposite of the intended purpose i.e. the woman would be harassed, then the recommendation could perhaps be adjusted to time and locale. As you note in your question, you live in a small, non-diverse town where wearing hijab may indeed subject you to harassing unwanted behavior.
In your question, you asked about wearing hijab at Muslim functions. You also noted that in an ideal world, you would wear hijab because you feel very personally what it represents. Because you feel this way, we don’t see any reason for you not to wear hijab at Muslim functions – presumably, in these settings you are not going to “stand out” and will not be subject to the harassing conduct you are concerned about outside of the Muslim functions.
We know this answer is not as “black or white” as you may like, but we firmly believe that if a sincere believing Muslim woman considers hijab a mandated requirement, then she should wear it to the best of her abilities, and should be supported in that. However, if based on honest soul-searching, a sincere believing Muslim woman does not believe this is religiously required and that it may even, in certain circumstances, invite unwanted attention or harassing behavior, and decides not to wear hijab, that should also be respected and supported.
Because people often consider the issue in “black or white” terms, they have a hard time reconciling the notion of wearing hijab at Muslim functions, but not wearing it “outside.” They may themselves feel hypocritical, or be worried that if someone sees them with hijab at a function then without hijab in the outside world, they may think less of them, or even worse, may think that they are trying to “pretend” to be a hijabi. We would urge you not to succumb to such thoughts. Since you like what the hijab represents, we say wear it at Muslim functions (or at least feel free to do so), since you will not stand out or be harassed, or if you stand out, it will be in a good way, as a woman concerned with her modesty.
We encourage you to engage in sincere introspection and come to a decision that comforts your soul.
In peace.