Touchy Issue

Dear Hadi,

Dear Reader,

Wa’alaikum assalam.  The hadith you mentioned does exist, as you have stated it. Sunan Abi Dawud 

However, as with many hadiths, it is difficult to know its level of authenticity, and this particular hadith has not been unanimously accepted.

As we have stated in many other columns, we do not give fatwas, but will give you our opinion as honestly and as clearly as possible, and Allah SWT knows best. 

With regard to this hadith, it is difficult to give a precise interpretation, because of the potential vagueness of the wording, “does not prevent the hand of a man that touches her.” 

One interpretation is that this is a polite way of saying that the wife allows other men to enjoy her sexually, in other words, she commits adultery.  The Quran uses the literal expression “lamastum al-nisa’” (touching women) to denote sexual relations when discussing the rules for ritual purity for prayer, in surat Al-Nisa and in surat al-Maidah (Quran 4:43 and Quran 5:6). 

Let us deal with that interpretation first.  Here, there are two scenarios.  The first of these is that a wife (or husband) has committed adultery once and repented from it – does this automatically invalidate the marriage?  The general ruling by scholars is that this, while a major sin, does not automatically nullify the marriage, since all sins, minor and major, are open to repentance.  Of course, the husband may choose to divorce his wife, but is not forced to do so even when he is certain of the adultery.

The second scenario is that this is a fixed character in the wife – that she is an adulteress, and continues to behave in this way.  In that case, we have to reflect on the hadith in the light of the Quran, since the hadith cannot contradict the Quran, or to put it in another way, should be interpreted in a way that will be consistent with the Quran.

In Surat al-Nur, the Quran states:

“The adulterer shouldn't marry except an adulteress or idolatress, and let none marry her except an adulterer or an idolater. Such behavior is forbidden to believers” (Quran 24:3).

A clear explanation of this is given by Imam Mawdudi in his expansive commentary, Towards Understanding the Quran:

“Similarly, the fit match for adulterous women (who have not repented) can only be adulterous or idolatrous men; they are not fit for any righteous believer. It is forbidden for the believers that they should marry women who are known to possess immoral character. This applies to those men and women who persist in their evil ways, and not to those who repent and reform themselves, for after repentance and reformation they will no longer be regarded as adulterous.”

Thus, the Quran prohibits the believers, men and women, from marrying actively adulterous spouses. 

Therefore, we cannot interpret the hadith as applying to the second scenario (an active adulterer), and cannot accept that the Prophet (pbuh) told the man that he could continue to enjoy his wife, while she was an active adulteress, just because he still found her desirable.  Such conduct does not comport with the attitude of the faithful. 

This perspective is consistent with a fatwa from the website IslamOnLine, where the question was posed, “Is it obligatory to divorce a wife if she committed adultery?”  That fatwa does not deal with the specific hadith in question, but outlines the notion that if there is sincere repentance on the part of the wife, the husband is permitted to maintain the marriage if he chooses, while if there is no repentance, he should not.  You can read more details at the attached link:  Is it obligatory to divorce a wife if she committed adultery?

Now, let us move to the second interpretation, where the “touching” in the hadith is not meant to denote sexual contact, but rather something else, such as flirtatious physical contact.  If the hadith is interpreted in this way, then in this case, out of sympathy for the man, who seemed distressed by this behavior, the Prophet (pbuh) advised him to divorce her.  However, when the man noted that he still wanted to be with her, the Prophet (pbuh) allowed this, since the woman’s behavior did not rise to a level mandating divorce, and advised the husband to “enjoy her.”  We understand this to mean that if the husband wanted to remain with her, that he should then try to overlook this shortcoming, and enjoy his life with her. 

If this is an authentic hadith, then we think this second interpretation makes more sense, since again it is not conceivable that the Prophet (pbuh) would have given the man permission to remain with an active adulteress (and that may be why some do not accept this hadith as authentic).  The wording of the hadith is in the active tense - not that the wife once allowed a man to touch her (i.e., something that happened in the past but was repented for), but that she actively does not prevent the hand of someone who wants to touch her as a current behavior pattern.

The opinion we have given is consistent with the interpretation of this hadith given on the website "Hadeethenc" which you can access at the attached link:

https://hadeethenc.com/en/browse/hadith/58158

As a final remark, if the hadith is authentic, we find it interesting that the Prophet (pbuh) initially advised the man to divorce his wife, given the fact that the Prophet (pbuh) is also reported to have said, "The most hated of permissible things to Allah is divorce" (Sunan ibn Majah).  Certainly, there is a wide gap between adultery and other types of physical contact, but if the second interpretation of the hadith is correct (i.e., that it relates to non-sexual physical touching), this should give us pause to reflect on habits which some have come to take for granted in the West, such as routine hugging, playful touching when joking around, handshaking, etc., between men and women.

In peace.