Dear Hadi,
I am a newly practicing gynecologist and found myself facing a deeply challenging situation. A 16-year-old girl came to me seeking an abortion during her third month of pregnancy. She was distraught, fearing the impact on her future and her family. I feared she might even consider suicide.
After researching various opinions online, I learned that some sources suggest abortion may be permitted up to 120 days of pregnancy. Based on this, I decided to proceed with the abortion.
However, I've since been plagued with doubt and guilt, questioning whether I made the right decision. This internal conflict has led to many sleepless nights. I've kept this incident from my husband, unsure of how he might react. Though he has noticed my distress and asked about it several times, I've struggled to open up to him.
I feel incredibly isolated and depressed, unable to share this burden with anyone. I desperately need guidance.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for trusting us enough to share this situation with us. We certainly appreciate the difficult position you find yourself in. As you indicate, there are various opinions among Islamic scholars, both classical and modern, about if and when abortion is permitted in Islam. Aside from a general consensus that it is allowed when the mother’s life is in danger, the opinions range from it should never otherwise be performed to it being allowed in the first 120 days (with others saying within the first 40 or 80 days).
First, we note that the Quran does not make any specific statement regarding abortion. The notion that abortion is allowed within the first 120 days comes from the hadith of the Prophet (pbuh), “Each one of you is collected in the womb of his mother for forty days, and then turns into a clot for an equal period (of forty days) and then turns into a piece of flesh for a similar period (of forty days) and then Allah sends an angel who breathes the soul into it, and who is ordered to write four things: his provisions, his lifespan, his deeds, and his misfortune or fortune. Then the soul is breathed into him …” Based on this hadith, some schools of thought say abortion is allowed within these first 120 days as the soul has not yet been breathed into the fetus.
However, it is important to note that among these schools of thought that say abortion is permitted within this time frame, it is not a license to use abortion for simple convenience, but rather there should be some warranted circumstance or condition to undertake this act, such as physical or psychological harm or other fear of hardship.
Those who say that abortion is never permissible other than in the case of it being needed to save the mother’s life base their opinion on a few factors: 1) in Islam, there is inheritance law that covers situations in which a pregnant mother has passed but her fetus is born alive; however, others say this simply means that once the baby is born, s/he is entitled to inheritance rights; 2) there is also “ransom money” to be paid to a pregnant mother if her fetus is aborted due to an act of aggression (e.g. if she is assaulted and loses her baby), indicating that the fetus is a life. However, others say that since the “ransom money” in this situation is a fraction of that assessed for the death of a human being living outside the womb, this indicates that the fetus does not receive the same protections and status as a human living outside the womb.
At the end of the day, we believe that God’s mercy has allowed for a variety of opinions on this issue so as to encompass the myriad of circumstances that give rise to situations where abortion is being considered.
As to your specific situation, we believe the following hadith of the Prophet (pbuh) is relevant: “Piety is that which contents the soul and comforts the heart, and sin is that which causes doubts and perturbs the heart, even if people pronounce it lawful and give you verdicts on such matters again and again.”
Some may read the various opinions on this issue and feel comfortable facilitating abortions in certain circumstances. Based on your question, at the time you made the decision to proceed, you had done some research and thought it would be ok to go ahead. Also, you had significant reasons to worry for the welfare of the mother (fear she may commit suicide). We encourage you to put your trust in God’s mercy and if you are now uncomfortable with the decision you made and it has plagued you with doubt and guilt, then we encourage you to resolve not to repeat it in the future.
The key point is that you acted without malice, and in fact, did what you thought was best for your patient under the circumstances you were facing. One of the most challenging facets of faith is to completely trust in God’s mercy, and that is what we encourage you to focus on. We remind ourselves and you of the hadiths of the Prophet (pbuh), “Verily, actions are by intentions….” and “Blame is lifted from my umma in case of forgetfulness or mistakes.” Therefore, although your action may have been wrong (since you see it as such), there is tremendous room for forgiveness, since your intentions were good (e.g., you didn’t perform an abortion to make money). Lastly, we recall to you the verses of the Quran that we hope will comfort your heart regarding the scope of God’s mercy. They are from the end of sura al-Furqan, wherein God warns those who commit major sins, such as associating partners with Him in worship or taking human life without just cause, that their punishment will be doubled on the Day of Judgment, and they will dwell in it in humiliation, “excepting those who repent, attain faith, and act righteously. For such, Allah will replace their misdeeds with good deeds, and Allah is all-forgiving, all-merciful.” (Quran 25:70)
Therefore, even a sin such as murder, can not only be forgiven, but actually transformed into good deeds in response to sincere repentance.
Lastly, let us address the issue of telling your husband. Of course, we don’t want to encourage spouses to keep secrets from one another, but honestly, we don’t see a reason that you necessarily need to share this with your husband. Your actions did not impact his rights in any way, and of course there are presumably doctor-patient confidentiality considerations at play. If you find that you are able to bring yourself to a place where you can trust in God’s mercy, and forgive yourself, perhaps you can leave things at that. However, if you cannot, and the situation will put distance between yourself and your husband, then that compounds the problem. You know your husband best. Ask whether he may be the person you can share your burden with, asking him not to judge you, but to help you, since marriage is about helping each other carry life’s burdens.
We sincerely hope these points can bring you some comfort in your distress.
In peace.