Dear Hadi,
As-salamu alaykum
I am interested in marrying a man who is my class fellow. This man has been respectful and has told his parents from the beginning, and I want to do the same.
I am a practicing Muslim. I pray five times a day, and I also read the Quran regularly. I am very well informed about religion and learning every day. I have done extensive research; however, I want to ask someone else about this matter.
This man is of the Shia sect. However, he does not take part in marches or latum. He does not possess any hatred towards Hazrat Aisha (AS) or Hazrat Abu Bakar (AS). He does not pray with the stone either. He is a practicing Muslim, too, and he mostly prays jummah at a Sunni mosque.
I want assurance to take this marriage decision forward as there is nothing different between my beliefs and his.
The only difference is the way he prays. He has his hands to his sides. He does not mention Hazrat Ali (AS) In his namaz. Also, his fast opens 10 minutes after mine does. He has never been to Kerbala and does not believe that Kerbala should be visited before doing Hajj and Umrah.
This man has all the qualities Allah and the prophet asks us to look for in a spouse. I am educated and have done extensive research; therefore, I know the difference between right and wrong. For years, we have been told that Shia and Sunni are so different. However, I do not see much difference between him and me.
Please let me know if you need any more information.
Dear Sunni Gal,
Wa’alaikum assalam.
Thank you for this wonderful question. When you look online, you will find various answers, many of which would object to the marriage on the grounds that some of the Shi’a hold beliefs that Sunnis find objectionable (and vice versa).
You have thoroughly clarified that this is not the case in your relationship. So even according to those opinions, there should be no issue here.
However, our opinion (and God knows best) is quite simple and straightforward. It does not get into all those details but looks at the big picture.
You both believe in one Almighty God; you both believe in the prophethood of Muhammad (pbuh); you both pray and fast; you are both practicing Muslims.
This, for example, is the reported view of the eminent modern scholar Rashid Rida (coauthor of the famous commentary on the Quran, Tafseer al Manar), who sought rapprochement between the sects in Islam.
We would not let sectarianism play any role in your decision - the important thing is compatibility of beliefs and mutual respect, and that certainly seems to be present here.
May God bless you for being so thoughtful about your faith, and may God bless you in this relationship.
In peace.