Dear Hadi,
When I was 18, I spoke to some Muslim friends, and after many discussions and learnings, I recited the Shahada. I was religious and did my best to live life as I should.
But while in college, I fell away to the point where I believed in science and no god at all. After many years and Christian pushing by family (southern American values), I joined the Catholic Church even though it still didn’t feel right.
Recently, I found an old copy of the Quran and began rereading it. I felt what I felt before and the pull to come to God again. Even after all of this, is it possible for me to come back?
Dear Reverting Again,
The short answer to your question is yes, of course, it is absolutely possible for you to come back to Islam. No matter one’s background, past beliefs, or past actions, the door to Islam is always open. It does not matter if you feel you “fell away” for some time. Quran verse 39:53 addresses this, saying,
“O my servants who have transgressed themselves, do not despair of God’s mercy. Indeed, God forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
If you now find that Islam has re-entered your heart and mind and you feel the pull to return to God, then by all means, follow that inclination.
As a side note, you mentioned that during college, you came to believe in science to the exclusion of believing in God.
Please know that, as Muslims, we hold that belief in science and God are completely compatible. Although, at times in history, the relationship between science and religion has been a conflicted one, Islam does not support this perspective.
In many verses throughout the Quran, scientific phenomena are discussed, and people are encouraged to study the world around them in an effort to develop a deeper understanding and faith.
May God bless you as you return to what makes you feel comfortable and whole.
In peace.