Dear Hadi,
Dear Mind Boggled,
This is of course, a very difficult question, since as you say, the answers should be somewhat clear. We appreciate that you do not want to waste an opportunity.
We would suggest in a situation like this to begin by acknowledging that our belief is that attacking and killing or kidnapping innocent civilians is wrong, and we do not condone the actions of Hammas. However, the actions of Hammas did not occur in a vacuum, and that is the point that needs to be discussed.
As a crude analogy, contrast two different situations:
There are two killers. The first wantonly shoots an innocent stranger on the street for no reason at all.
The second gets punched in the face by a guy every single day. Let us says he goes to the police (substitute here the UN Security Council) numerous times, but receives no substantive help. One day, he just snaps and shoots the puncher.
Both actions are wrong, but they are not the same scenario. These are of course different situations, both in terms of moral judgment, and in the practical terms you asked about.
We can certainly imagine that in the first case of wanton, unprovoked murder, there is nothing the victim could have done to avoid the situation.
In the second case, however, perhaps if he had not punched the shooter in the face every day, he may not have gotten killed.
The Palestinians have been getting punched in the face for decades. This, however, has received scant media coverage in the US, until quite recently. The growing awareness of the plight of the Palestinians may be the reason why there have been so many large protests regarding this war, on a scale never previously seen.
To help raise your friend’s awareness, we suggest using unbiased third-party assessments of the human rights situation in Palestine and the Occupied Territories in the year or two leading up to this situation. Among these are reports by Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, the United Nations Human Rights Commission, and even the US State Department. These are linked below.
The US State Department, in an effort to not take sides, details a range of human rights abuses against the Palestinian people, including by the Palestinian Authority. We actually applaud this, because any human rights violation is a violation. However, even in the US state department report, the following appears:
“With respect to Israeli security forces in the West Bank: credible reports of unlawful or arbitrary killings; torture or other cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment or punishment by Israeli officials; arbitrary arrest or detention; arbitrary or unlawful interference with privacy; punishment of family members for alleged offenses by a relative; restrictions on freedom of expression, including violence, threats of violence, unjustified arrests and prosecutions against journalists, and censorship; serious restrictions on internet freedom; substantial interference with the rights of peaceful assembly and freedom of association, including harassment of nongovernmental organizations; serious restrictions on freedom of movement and residence including arbitrary or unlawful interference with privacy, family, and home of Palestinians residing in Jerusalem.”
You can forward these reports to your friend and if they have a genuine interest, they can read or even just skim them, and perhaps realize that there is a very genuine human rights issue here.
Human Rights in Palestine (State of) Amnesty International
Human Rights in Israel and Occupied Palestinian Territories Amnesty International
A Threshold Crossed: Israeli Authorities and the Crimes of Apartheid and Persecution | HRW
WEST-BANK-AND-GAZA-2022-HUMAN-RIGHTS-REPORT.pdf (state.gov)
In peace.