please help me iam in hell

The more you run from your desire the stronger it will be, be indifferent to it. Also, channel the sexual energy into other activities like reading, exercising, etc.

Thankfully, I'm not Muslim so I can masturbate all I want

First of all, don't worry too much over it. As DavidC says, your worry may have caused you to have anxiety as a psychological problem. Plus don't take such "pills" if your physician does not advise you to use such things. 

Masturbation may be haram, but much less dangerous and haram than fornication and you seem to have some kind of an excuse... I don't say you are allowed to do it. But you know, you shouldn't worry so much as to make you depressed and psychologically ill.

Marry as soon as you can, inshAllah, as another brother/sister advised.

Also, such scholars as the famous and mainstream Sheikh "Yusuf al-Qaradawi" says that in western and westernized countries young unmarried people (or just men?) can masturbate in order to reduce their sexual tension and protect themselves from fornication. But lewd pictures etc are of course haram in any case. 

I have certainly read that fatwa from the sheikh. If you search for the sheikh's name and masturbation on the internet, you may see it for yourself.

May Allah forgive our sins and make us capable of repenting and refraining from them.