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New advice on my situation

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Mimi-meme View Drop Down
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Female Sunni
Joined: 04 October 2020
Location: US
Status: Offline
Points: 2
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    Posted: 04 October 2020 at 8:54am
Salam alaykum,

I am a 28 year old woman, who is currently talking to someone in regards for marriage. Our parents are involved and our engagement ceremony is set. 

However, for the past couple of days I have been quite uneasy and doubtful. And it tend to happen A LOT while meeting prospects for marriage. 

Currently the brother I am speaking to is 26 years old and mashallah religious. He comes from a religious household and is the imam in a mosque where he prays Mahgreib, and gives Quran lectures. He also seems to be really mature and well spoken. My family absolutely adores him. I am still getting to know him, so I am not emotionally attached. Also he suffers from epilepsy( alhamduallah he doesn't suffer from heavy seizures and only gets them at night). However, he is not allowed to have a driving licence for 2 years. This is can be quite a problem as I don't have a driving license yet.

So far I haven't seen anything bad from the guy. I pray Istikhara every day and I trust in Allah's will. 
As the engagement ceremony is approaching I don't feel relaxed. I don't know if it's because of my anxiety( I suffer from serve anxiety due to traumatizing events in my life) or if I am truly not happy. 

I know I have something that most people would die for. I always wanted to get married, and made so many prayers that Allah would bless me with a good and pious man, but yet why do I feel like this? Shouldn't I feel overjoyed instead of worried and anxious? All my friends who has been going through the same route have all been overjoyed with getting engaged and married. 

I will also like to add that I haven't seen anything bad from the guy which makes me feel really conflicted. He is really understanding, generous and gentle. I am scared of throwing this kind of blessing away, but I also don't want to stay miserable and sad if my feelings can improve. 

Is it normal to feel like this prior to get engaged? Should I just overlook my worries and trust in Allah ?
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