Having doubts about hijab

Assalamu Alaikum,

I know there have been countless debates in this forum with regards to
hijab. I don't mean to start another one up and I ask for everyone's
patience and understanding. I have been Muslim for almost five years
now. I've been wearing the hijab for a little over a year. For that year I
have been living in a very small, mostly white Christian town. The Muslim
community here is very small and I'm the only sister who wears hijab.
That's fien, I'm not making judgements on anyone. Throughout this past
year of wearing hijab I go through periods of depression and isolation.
All of a sudden I get very paranoid about going out in public with my
hijab. I become very stressed out and end up going through a
breakdown. Afterwards, after I've recovered from that, I build my courage
up again and am ok. Recently I've been having some marital problems.
My husband and I met with the Imam earlier this week to disucss our
marital issues. I'm legally blind and that also makes me feel very
isolated. I know that my stress carries over into my married life and i'm
often very ill-tempered with my husband. Ilhamdulilah he tries to be as
patient as he can. Well, the Imam asked if my hijab was the reason I feel
depressed and stressed. I told him that i do feel stressed because of it.
He then suggested that I stop wearing hijab. I was pretty shocked by this,
knowing that I was the only woman in town who wears it, I thought he
was supportive of me. To him, there exists so many hadiths about hijab,
niqab, etc., and no one knows for sure which is correct so a woman
should just worry about being modest. The woman often come into the
mosque and their hair is still not covered. I was dead-set against his
advice, but these past couple of days I've been even more depressed,
unsure which is the right course. I am very limited by my disability and
the hijab no doubt adds to my feelings of isolatioin, despite efforts of
making friends, finding work, etc.
I hope some of you wonderful sisters may have some advice for me.
Please help a sister, especially during Ramadan.

ma3a salama
JR

Wa Assalama Alaikum

Sister from reading your post you are feeling indifferance becasue there are some women who go to your Mosque and not wearing theirs and that you live in a small town with mostly white Christians and trust me this is normal.I am the only Muslim in my family....right now alhemdeallah. Yes, at times the indifferance was not easy to say the least but alhemdeallah  am doing well. I prayed to ALLAH swt to protect me and to remove from me the feelings I had with the hejab sometimes. I would have been shocked to perhaps I heard an Iman say that. But, Sister I think because you were shocked to me it seems you know that it is required; And I think that is a good. He should have told you ways to ask for help from Allah swt to overcome your feelings and I am sorry he did not. Just continue to pray to Allah swt to help remove these feeling that you have.  Please just be patient Sister.

 

 

Assalamu Alaikum,

Thank you, Sisters, so much for your advice and thoughts.  I discussed everything with my husband and we agreed that hijab is just too much for me now.  I took it off yesterday.  I prayed very hard and read Qur'an.  I made dua'a and told Allah (swt) that I have to do something for my sanity.  My husband is being very supportive.  I do feel better and believe it was the hijab which was cuasing my problems.  Insha Allah when I feel mentally capable to handle things again I will put it on.  I do believe it is an obligation but like Sister said, Allah (swt) doesn't want us to be miserable with our faith.  It was getting so bad I could barely concentrate during prayers.  I felt I was depressed most of the time around my husband.  May Allah (swt) give us strength to be true to our deen.

 

JR

 

I agree with Sister Ummziba,if you will loose the whole path by the cause of this heavyness comes from your hijab then delay your wearing hijab if it is the real reason,if not please also search for the other resolutions...but i see that you are not ready to wear hijab and the obligation is not came yet to you...just keep on improving yourself...may Allah help you insh'Allah...