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1st Question asked about islam |
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Ron Webb 
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Male atheist Joined: 30 January 2008 Location: Ottawa, Canada Status: Offline Points: 2467 |
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 Topic: 1st Question asked about islamPosted: 20 June 2008 at 5:40am |
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Addeenul �Aql � Religion is intellect.
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Chrysalis
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Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033 |
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Posted: 20 June 2008 at 2:50am |
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Ronn, your situation/circumstances are vastly different from that of a polyandrous situation, where a number of Dads are sharing a child whilst not-knowing the child's paternity. . . while you are a single-stepdad with a stepdaughter and no doubt have a pretty normal life. Your relationship is defined, it is not vague and unknown. There is no 'not-knowing' involved here. . . all the facts are clear as anything.
True! HOWEVER, Testosterone is a hormone found in BOTH men & women, and is also known as the sex-hormone, because it is what determines the libido/sex-drive in BOTH men & women. Higher levels of Testosterone mean a higher sex-drive. . . and one of the reasons why men have a comparitively higher sex-drive, especially in most cases is because they naturally have higher levels of testosterone in thier bodies, compared to women. Women have lower levels then men. Thus have a comparitivley lower sex-drive. In men, testes produce testosterone and in women, ovaries produce it.
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Saladin
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Posted: 18 June 2008 at 8:40am |
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Has monogamy solved these problems?
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'Trust everyone but not the devil in them'
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believer
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Posted: 17 June 2008 at 6:49am |
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One of the problems with polygamy!!
Nujood's unemployed father, Ali Mohammed Ahdal, has two wives and 16 children. He is among the many tribal Yemenis who have migrated to the capital looking for work. Instead, he found misery.
Edited by believer - 17 June 2008 at 6:59am |
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John 3
16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. |
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Ron Webb
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Posted: 15 June 2008 at 7:52pm |
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So if I thought I might be my stepdaughter's biological father that would make me less loving? This makes sense to you?
Testosterone is the male sex hormone. There are two female sex hormones: estrogen and progesterone. Fact.
No doubt. I think you just made my point for me. 
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Addeenul �Aql � Religion is intellect.
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Chrysalis
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 10:04pm |
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I was/am not talking about an adopted/step relationship. Such a relationship can still grow to be very strong and beneficial. Because the stepfather knows frm the start that the child is not his, and is not faced with the boilogical dads. . . no conflicting emotions. Easy to make the child 'your own'.
I am referring to a case where 2/3 'fathers' are sharing one child, without knowing the paternity. I don't think you would be loving the child as much, if you KNEW that 2 more men could easily be the biological fathers of the child. WHILST..sharing the child with those possible fathers, the not knowing, and facing the possible dads. This is not a case of an absent biological father whose place you can take, but active, present ones. One would have to be a Saint to do that.
You can simply look up the 'sex hormone' testosterone . . .which determines libido, and compare its presence in males and females. I'm not going to be arguing about this furthur, no point butting heads. Fact.
Although young men are more likely to have more one-night stands, older men are more likley to indulge in affairs, keeping mistresses which is a relativley long term r/ship. A quick glance in history will give us ample examples of older men with long-term mistresses. And I think the men u r talking abt r probably ok abt thier one-night-stands having mulitple partners. . . but if the woman is thier lifepartner, girlfirend, wife . . .far from confortable, they would hate it.
Thats different. Why? Bcz its a one-time thing/prostitute, which is why men don't mind 'sharing' the woman. There is no long-term r/ship commitment involved. However, would the same men be willing to MARRY the prostitute? Or have a long-term r/ship with it? Knowing she has had numeous men? Let alone a (concious) child? No. . . (again, I expect u might say they most certainly will, but in all honestly, and in the majority of cases, the wont) Why? bcz he will not want to marry public property, and would like a more exclusive woman to marry. Unfortunatley, in MOST societies that is a fact, and perhaps the nature of men. INfact, even a woman will not want to marry a promiscuis man under normal circumstances.
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Ron Webb
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 6:32pm |
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Well Chrysalis, you're welcome to your opinion, but I don't agree. There were no "issues" for me or my stepdaughter, despite there being no biological connection between us. What matters is the stability of the parent-child relationships, not the biology. As for medical issues, etc., you said yourself that biological paternity can be determined if necessary.
Women's sexuality is entirely different than men's (not surprisingly). I don't even know how you would measure it, let alone compare the two scientifically. I'd be interested in any references you can provide (privately), but I don't think this is the right forum to discuss it.
I agree that men (young men in particular, I'm not so sure about older men/women) are more inclined to seek multiple partners. But frankly I think that is more about promiscuity than lasting relationships; and I think it illustrates not only that young men are more comfortable with multiple partners, but that they are more comfortable with their women having multiple partners. Men don't mind using prostitutes, for instance, knowing full well that the women are having sex with many other men. How many women don't mind knowing that the man they are with today was with a different woman yesterday, and will be with another tomorrow? |
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Addeenul �Aql � Religion is intellect.
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Hayfa
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 6:33am |
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Interesting in the tribes in Nepal that practive poygamy, wife with two husbands they rotate.. one husband is off in the mountanis for six months and then they switch. If wife gets pregnant they know who the child's father is, although they are brothers so less relavant.
So practically speaking people DO run societies around it. Agered not many. But some do.
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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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However, there is no evidence whatsoever to suggest that because women have less testosterone than men do, they have lower sexual interest than their male counterparts. Instead, it seems that women detect and react to much smaller amounts of testosterone in their circulation than men do.