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Who is my husband?
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SunFlower4Islam View Drop Down
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    Posted: 27 October 2009 at 8:52pm

in the name of Allah the most merciful :

the one who said that this marriage is muta :how come u reach this point and result? do u know what muta is? muta is a marriage that has a definite time span 'and no evidence of that in this story ,so u better fear Allah in what u say. To the one who said that a wali is a must: do u know all the mazahib of ahl a sunnah and their views? do u know the difference between zawaj al bikr and aththayyib? besides the story seems so specific, coz the time he knew the sis and introduced her to islam, she didn�t know any muslim that time .and her father or brother isn�t there besides her and they r not muslims, do u know that he can b her wali more

than her own father or brother coz he is muslim and they r not? Did u read al quraan? waman yatawalla allaha wa raruluhu wallatheen amanu fa ihha hizbu allahi humul ghalibun

 did u read in the quraan this verse. walan yajala allahu lil kafirna ala almumineena sabeela. what i see in this story is that the brother did what a one of the friends of the prophet (sahabah) may have done in a similar situation and what i see is that the brother is honest and he cares and knows islam well. So better , lets pray for him, and for the sister to live be stronger in their faith. and we know that the way to allah is full of trials and hardships, nowadays.
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seekshidayath View Drop Down
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Originally posted by Nobody_Nobody Nobody_Nobody wrote:

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.
�

I'm posting this, on behalf of a sister who is beside me while I'm typing this.

�

She is a new revert, alhamdulillah. But is now in a dilemna. Two years ago, she met a practising bro online, being new in the deen, she chatted with the bro about islam and till the day they realized that they are personally closer than just bro and sis. So one day, the bro, went in front of the web cam, [after asking her permission/proposing to her] with two other brothers [as witness] and he said that they are getting married -- and that's done. THEY GOT MARRIED.

�

But she being new, didn't took it seriously and thought that the bro was just joking. She lives in US, and he lives in Jordan. Then the brother in Jordan, or Bro J. started� introducing her to relatives and friends through webcam, even to his students when he tutors at home.

�

Then communication cut, after a month of that "marriage" and then, six months later, Bro J. came back. And so here comes the dilemna of the sister.

�

Coz the sister met another guy, a Muslim too... and they got married unislamic -- through a non-muslim civil wedding --- with an agreement that she will help him -from other country too - go to US.� But things went beyond just that agreement, and became personal... Both wanted it to be a real/genuine family-building marriage. Although the guy wanted their marriage to be officiated by an imam and do it islamically, they got married in a place where the sister knows no muslim. so to have the paper done, they did the civil wedding.

�

Question is: Who her legal husband is? Both men are still far from her, but she's working on the paper of the latter husband. And she is in a stage wherein trying to live the right way but because first hubby is claiming her now, that confuses her.

�

First hubby is a practising bro, and she said, at some point was supporting her financially back then. [the bro disappeared after the marriage, coz he was jailed thru allegations that was not proven and he's freed already.]

�

Should she decide to keep the latter hubby, does she have to ask for divorce from the first one, they are communicating again these days, and the bro is willing to take her back, despite the situation that she's into. He's adamant that she's his wife, although no legal papers can be presented. Also, he's willing to let her help through papers so that the latter hubby can go to the US. The bro in Jordan, is not interested to live in the US, instead he wants her to go to Jordan.

�

The latter hubby is adamant too that she is her wife, coz he has a paper as a proof.

�

Hope to get your ideas, and please do keep the sister in your duas, as she is in a struggle to live the right way, inshaAllah and is presented with this trial.

�

Jazakhallahu khayran.


Walaikum Salam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

As our other members advised well {Sis Hayfa and br. Saladin}, that since their was no wali from you sister's side, its not valid. But still i advise u to speak to a sheikh. Moreover, my kind advice to the sister is be careful with internet relations. There are many cases, wherein people are cheated. There are exceptional cases too. Am not sure of this person of Jordan, nor am judging of him {Allah is the best Judge, and shall His task to Him}, but it was just a word of caution, since matter is a twist in ones life.

Kindly seek forgiveness from Allah and ask Him to show you the right path {to choose your husband thru valid means}. Seek counsel from Allah. i.e offer Isthekhara prayers. This would be the best solution of your sister's problem. When she offers Isthekhara, she is seeking advice of the All-Knower. He always chooses the Best for us. I wished your sister to repent, since intentionally/unintentionally, she's fallen in the trap of satan. Hope sis, you won't get offended.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: �All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2009 at 5:46pm
Wa Alaikum As Salam Sister Hayfa .JazakAllah Khieran for the info.May Allah Bless you
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Hayfa View Drop Down
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Asalaam Alaikum,

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503546572

Just search the site..
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 October 2009 at 9:35am
Salams Hayfa,JazakAllah Kheiran for your reply,May Allah Bless you and your family.Can I please get a source because I have witness many marriages.It was one where the parents was Wali one brother had his father and the sister had her mother the married couple were cousins.
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Hayfa View Drop Down
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Points: 2368 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hayfa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 October 2009 at 8:37pm
Not all women need a Wali:


 Does a widowed woman need a Wali to remarry after her waiting period?
Answer Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear Julie, thanks for your question.

In fact, the issue of the wali in marriage should be understood within the frame of the objectives of the Shari`ah. The Shari`ah aims at protecting people's lives, honor, religion, property, and intellect.

Given the above, one can easily understand from Islam's insistence on the involvement of the wali in marriage that it aims at guaranteeing women's well-being and security. Though a divorcee' or a widow can marry without the involvement of her wali--as the Prophet stated in one of his hadiths�as long as the marriage contract meets the conditions of valid marriage , we do advise our sisters in Islam to try their best to keep good relations with their parents for they mostly care about their welfare and they have more experience in life.

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 October 2009 at 11:58am
Originally posted by fais fais wrote:

Salam,
a marraige has to be done in public and this marraige is nothing but a kind of joke so just forget that mad person who says he is muslim but he is missguiding you.such marraige is called muta which is done by shia community which the majority of muslims has declared haram,it is not a sunni belief that you can marry in secret to satisfy your sexual desire.

�

That man wants to come to u.s maybe thats y he is doing that,sister it is not a marraige at any condition,just pray to allah that you get a god fearing husband who shal guide you properly towards islam,and also sister in islam tableeq to nonmehram is not allowed as u see the after effect you both fell in unnessary realation.so if you really interested in islam forget the men first find who is your lord and than think of marraige.hope allah give proper guidance to you.you cannot learn islam thru haram ways.
Salams, Fais.I agree with you Also with Hayfa.No dowery,no compincation no marriage.Also I didnt read where the sister had a Walli.

Edited by Akhe Abdullah - 20 October 2009 at 12:00pm
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fais View Drop Down
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Points: 344 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 October 2009 at 8:49am
salam,
 
But she being new, didn't took it seriously and thought that the bro was just joking.
 
when she dint mean it then there is no contract so another point that there is no marraige.
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