Gender-Relations

In most cases, people interact with the opposite gender based on the norms of the society they live in, or more precisely, they society the grew up in. We find that Muslims who grew up in a Middle Eastern society have more strict limits than Muslims who grew up in a North American soceity, when it comes to dealing with the opposite gender. There are also two groups of people that act on the extreme limits. There is a group that prohibits interaction with the opposite gender whatever the conditions are, while there is a group that interacts with the opposite gender without any limits. Whatever the norms of your society are, Islam have set some wide guidelines when it comes to this issue. Let�s go back to what Allah has taught us in the Quran. Allah, swt, says in the story of prophet Musa PBUH:

"And when he went towards (the land of) Madyan, he said: "It may be that my Lord guides me to the Right Way." And when he arrived at the water of Madyan he found there a group of men watering (their flocks), and besides them he found two women who were keeping back (their flocks). He said: "What is the matter with you?" They said: "We cannot water (our flocks) until the shepherds take (their flocks). And our father is a very old man." So he watered (their flocks) for them, then he turned back to shade, and said: "My Lord! Truly, I am in need of whatever good that You bestow on me!" Then there came to him one of the two women, walking shyly. She said: "Verily, my father calls you that he may reward you for having watered (our flocks) for us."[28/22-25]

From this story, we come to several conclusions:

1- The great mercy and compassion of the Prophets. Prophet Musa felt compassionate for the two women and went to assist them. It is important for the Muslim to have mercy and concern for those around him.

2- Inter-gender interaction is an exception, not the rule. Meaning that such interaction should take place only under situations that are necessities, and when this happens, certain etiquettes must be followed:

-Lowering the gaze, as everything has an entrance and one of the entrances to the heart is the glance.

-Be respectful. Avoid speech or actions that could be taken as flirting.

-Maintain modesty and shyness (Haya�). Take the daughter of Prophet Shu'ayb as an example, when she approached Musa, "Then there came to him one of the two women, walking shyly."

-Avoid being alone as Shaytan will be the third amongst you. Try your best to meet as a group as private meetings amongst a brother and sister who are non-mahram (a mahram is an unmarriageable kin) are strictly prohibited. In addition, during group meetings there should be a good amount of distance between brothers and sisters.

-Observe the correct Islamic dress code.

-There is no better solution than asking. Thus, it is important to refer any specific questions or issues to local scholars as they are your life source for survival in the campus jungle.

Finally, remember this verse:

"The believers, men and women, are protecting friends one of another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and His messenger."[9/71]

Your Muslim sister is like your sister who you protect, and your Muslim brother is like your brother who you care for. You do not want your brother or sister to be under any physical or emotional harm. Therefore, when you interact with your brothers or sisters, make sure that you do not do any action that may harm them, and remember that Allah, swt, always sees you and knows what is in your heart and in your mind.