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What Did You Say, Honey?
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wisdomseeker View Drop Down
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    Posted: 04 January 2010 at 2:30am
Great!!!
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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scenario #1

Woman says:
"I know what you did."
What she's really saying:
"You have a guilty look on your face. You must have done something wrong and I'm going to get you by saying something ambiguous."
Man responds:
"I don't know what you're talking about."
What he's really saying:
"She found out about what I did. I know I did 5 things wrong, which one did she find out about? Just play dumb, keep denying everything and remember to say 'I love you' a couple of times."

scenario #2

Woman says:
"I'm feeling sick."
What she's really saying:
"After all the times I took care of you, this is your chance to prove to me that you love me and take care of me."
Man responds:
"It'll probably pass, give it some time"
What he's really saying:
"Oh no, here we go again with the I'm sick routine. I hope she doesn't want to go see a doctor because the Lakers are playing the Knicks in 30 minutes.

scenario #3

Woman says:
"I hate you, get away from me."
What she's really saying:
"I love you so much, I want you to come after me and hold me, so I can feel secure again and know that you love me. Please tell me you love me."
Man responds:
"I'm sorry baby, I promise I won't do it again, please don't leave, I'm begging for your forgiveness."
What he's really saying:
"Please don't go, who is going to cook for me? If you need me to say some stuff about promises and I love you, I will.

 

scenario #4

Woman says:
"Nothing is wrong."
What she's really saying:
"What do you mean, what's wrong? Don't you know what you did, you st**id jerk? You play with my feelings and my emotions, and have the audacity to ask me what's wrong? I hate you."
Man responds:
"Okay."
What he's really saying:
"Yes! She didn't tell me what's wrong, so I'm not going to ask. Last time I insisted she tell me what's wrong, we talked for an hour ."

scenario #5

Woman says:
"We need to talk."
What she's really saying:
"We have some problems and the best way to clear those problems is by communicating in a respectful and cordial manner."
Man responds:
"What do we need to talk about?"
What he's really saying:
"Please don't start talking about your feelings and analyzing why I said that thing about your mother."

scenario #6

Woman says:
"Do I look fat in this dress?"
What she's really saying:
"I hope he's still attracted to me. Please tell me how great I look, because it has been so long since you told me I looked beautiful."
Man responds:
"Not that much."
What he's really saying:
"Man you gained weight, don't you see you've gained weight? Why are you asking me if you look fat? It's a rhetorical question, of course you do. Ask me this again and I might even tell you to your face."

scenario #7

Woman says:
"I'm thirsty."
What she's really saying:
"I want you to realize that I have a problem. I'm thirsty. Please get up and get me a glass of water, to show me you care."
Man responds:
"So? Get up and get a glass of water."
What he's really saying:
"So? Get up and get a glass of water."

 

 
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Points: 5105 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 January 2010 at 6:33pm
"...phase out and go into their "nothing box".
 
You mean the uh huh, uh huh, yeah, yep, right, that's nice...."nothing box" mode?
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Hayfa View Drop Down
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Interesting research - women use more words per day then men do - cz we have better linguistic/expressive skills. Anyhoo, so I read this research that said that by the time Men come home - they have already used up most of thier natural word limit at the workplace. Wheras women still have a lot left (especially if they have been alone at home and have had no one to talk to) . . . so they have a tendency to verbally approach issues way more then men, who just seem to phase out and go into their "nothing box". Might explain the above scenario.

This may explain some of what we see. But it is funny how men run out.. .lol kinda like the car is out of gas and women are like hybrids plug and go...lol
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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Chrysalis View Drop Down
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Originally posted by Saladin Saladin wrote:

"...Not always, but most commonly, men tend to withdraw and women tend to pursue.  Many men will abstain from discussing issues because they don�t want to get into a fight.  They will withdraw and try to get away, while women will �turn up the volume� and try harder to get a response."
 
How sad....
 


Oh yeah so true !!! My dad does that too . . . Big%20smile. Sometimes its best to let females blow off steam - and just listen,  poor things feel guilty later anyway... (Clever Abuaysha! Big%20smile )

Interesting research - women use more words per day then men do - cz we have better linguistic/expressive skills. Anyhoo, so I read this research that said that by the time Men come home - they have already used up most of thier natural word limit at the workplace. Wheras women still have a lot left (especially if they have been alone at home and have had no one to talk to) . . . so they have a tendency to verbally approach issues way more then men, who just seem to phase out and go into their "nothing box". Might explain the above scenario.
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Pati View Drop Down
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Points: 304 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pati Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 January 2010 at 6:25am
Well, with my ex-boyfriend, I used to avoid any discussion. When I was feeling him angry, I just stopped talking until discovering the reason. Sometimes, he was feeling more angry, and other times, he was just looking at me and thinking about what was around my head. Other times, I was just leaving the room, so he was finally coming to me asking for forgiveness and explaining what happened.
 
I think that every human being needs to get angry sometimes, it's a natural way to remove stress from head and body, and we only need patiance from the others to put up the situation without losing control.
 
When I was getting angry it was the same. I didn't talk for a while, and he was just trying to know why, and after all everything was solved.
 
We have to control our feelings sometimes, because it's very dangerous. When we get angry, we don't control our tongue and we hurt the people who we love the most, so better to avoid any risk.
 
That's my suggestion, but it's obvious that not everyone is able to keep in silence for long time Tongue
 
Regards,
Patricia
No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Points: 5105 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 January 2010 at 8:03pm
...and men go watch the football games...
 
Well, they do so at their own peril.
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Hayfa View Drop Down
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Points: 2368 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hayfa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 January 2010 at 4:52pm
I think women mainly want to be fully heard..ad nauseam.

Lol... some certainly do...  and men go watch the football games.. Smile
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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