Question about Marriage

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1DM2 wrote: I am currently attending college and I am taking a class on the the Middle East. Our focus is to gain better insights that will erase any bias we may have about your religion, culture, and ideology. I have decide to join this forum so I can further my knowledge outside the class room. During a discussion a few days ago we talked about marriage within the Islam religion. I would like to gain further insight on how your religion views or deals with divorce. It is a subject that interest me because I see so much of it here in america and would like to learn if its as wide spread in other regions. Thank you to anyone who chooses to help me in this matter.

Another misconception I have come across regarding Muslim Marriages is the concept of 'Mahr'. Which in Islam, is a gift that the husband/groom gives to his wife/bride to seal the marriage contract. I have had atleast 2 non-muslims ask me about Mahr - apparently they thought my father would 'sell me' to my husband for a payment. So maybe you could mention that in your presentation. The Mahr is a gift to the woman. NOT her father. And no transaction takes place! Symbolically it is a gesture of love and protection towards the wife - and maybe the Divine Wisdom was to ensure the woman had some financial backup... If the woman wishes to divorce from her husband (Khula) she returns the Mahr gift, but if the Man initiates divorce he cannot take back the Mahr - it is her property.

Another misconception is 'arranged marriage. I cannot count how many times I have been asked about this as a muslim girl! Many people think arranged marriage = forced marriage i.e. a girl has no say and is married to whomever the father picks for her. In Islam - a woman cannot be married without her permission & consent (i.e. be 'forced'). She can say yes or no to whomever she pleases. She has the full right to choose her husband, and determine the amount of her Mahr and the terms of her contract (pre-nup). Muslim women have been using Pre-Nups for ages before it was made part of the modern day legal system.

Islam (since 1400yrs ago) has also given women sole right over thier property, even after marriage. Her property/money remains her own even after she gets married and the husband has no right/control over it.

A man is responsible for his wife's expenses - even if she is better off then him.

The Divorce process is very fair to both parties - there is no concept of alimony which allows one spouse to live off the other's hard-earned money. The husband provides financial support for his estranged wife until the waiting-term is over (which is approx a few weeks, so as to allow a chance for reconciliation). After the waiting-term they are not married any more and Ex is not required to provide her financial support UNLESS they have kids, in which case he pays for the kids' expenses.

"And when you divorce women and they fulfil their term [of their 'Iddah], either keep them according to reasonable terms or release them according to reasonable terms, and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress [against them]. And whoever does that has certainly wronged himself. And do not take the verses of Allaah in jest. And remember the favour of Allaah upon you and what has been revealed to you of the Book [i.e., the Quran] and wisdom [i.e., the Prophet's Sunnah] by which He instructs you. And fear Allaah and know that Allaah is Knowing of all things." [Quran 2:231]