How to deal with difficult parent?

For the mothers, when they have their daughter's best interest at heart, may counsel the daughters rather than complaining to others or throwing them out of the house.

abuayisha wrote: I must say this post is completely one-sided, but doing my best to read between the lines I ask, is it so difficult for a daughter to help around the house, behave, be respectful and act in an Islamic way?  These are the things which will please her mother.  These are the things which will make her welcome at home.  These are the things that will make her mom happy to support her financially.  If a mother says her daughter is not religious or well behaved are we to believe her mother is a complete liar?  Seems to me most parents what to boast of their children's accomplishments, therefore when I hear a parent speaking negatively about their own child I tend to believe them.  Again, how is it that her daughter is respectful, religious, well behaved, active in helping around the house, yet still she is beaten, degraded, denied financial support and put out onto the street?  Hard to imagine and difficult to fathom.

Edited by Nausheen - 28 June 2012 at 12:34am

Yeah, understood; my frame of reference is growing up in America with near total freedom as a teenager, and even more as a male.  What to do when culture overrides proper Islamic interaction between parent and child? Umar Ibn Khattab said about parenting: 'Play with them for the first seven years, educate them for another seven years, and finally befriend them for another seven years.'  Indeed it is the last 7 years (teenage) when many problems of respect and mutual trust becomes an issue.  If you have parents who, as you say, are very strict, nagging, taunting and speaking ill, I advise kids to remain patient and loving until Allah makes a way for them.  Whoever fears Allah and is patient, then Allah will make a way out of every difficulty.  Sadly, the concept of "tougher when he is married" is completely bizarre for an American like myself.  I must defer to those of you reared in such cultures for their input and advice.  The link below is helpful for parents....

I must say this post is completely one-sided, but doing my best to read between the lines I ask, is it so difficult for a daughter to help around the house, behave, be respectful and act in an Islamic way?  These are the things which will please her mother.  These are the things which will make her welcome at home.  These are the things that will make her mom happy to support her financially.  If a mother says her daughter is not religious or well behaved are we to believe her mother is a complete liar?  Seems to me most parents what to boast of their children's accomplishments, therefore when I hear a parent speaking negatively about their own child I tend to believe them.  Again, how is it that her daughter is respectful, religious, well behaved, active in helping around the house, yet still she is beaten, degraded, denied financial support and put out onto the street?  Hard to imagine and difficult to fathom.