please help

assalam aleikoum brothers and sisters,

i agree with u sister Nausheen

Please do istekharah before making any decision.

May Allah be your Protector and Guide, Ameen.

Salam Alaikum Sis,

How long have you known him?
If you are planning on moving to Morocco after marriage, and your in-laws won't even know about you, will you be able to manage in a strange country without a support system? How will you cope? Consider practical aspects of your marriage before making any commitments. If he is not planning on telling his parents, how will he deal with them when they try to marry him off thinking he is single?

Of course it is possible that your boyfriend is a trustworthy person... but make sure you analyse your relationship very carefully.

I know a non-muslim girl who has been in a relationship with a muslim guy for the past 10 years! They were together when he was studying in her country. She trusts him a lot, but he had another 'muslim' girlfriend on the side because his parents would never accept a nonmuslim daughter-in-law. (I know because we were in the same univ). From this poor girl's perspective, she has no reason to think he is not serious. He even sends flowers to her from his home country. He says he will marry her, but its been 10 years and he is now back in his home country.... I feel this girl has wasted 10 years of her life on him... and still thinks he is the one. People can be two-faced and have split personalities.

Just be very careful with your decision. May Allah bless you and help you make the correct decision, whatever it is.

I am grateful for all the responses. i definitely have many things to consider. In these past few weeks since my conversion, my life has changed so so much. i cant even begin to put into words how different my life is. i am not worried anymore about the situation, I know now that Allah is the one who is in control, and I have nothing to worry about at all. i trust that if it is meant to be it will and if not it is because Allah has something else planned for me. My boyfriend is moving towards telling his parents, it will take time. i have no plan to rush him. he is in Morocco, just accepted into the Universit� Ibn Tofail in Kenitra. he will finish his studies,InshaAllah. in this time Allah will open the doors as HE wills them to open. my boyfriend has shown me over and over that i can trust him also. there is a woman who was my very best friend who is dating my boyfriends cousin. she is also a evangelical christian woman and her boyfriend is a Muslim. when i converted she stopped speaking to me and tried to do many many things to separate me and my boyfriend. her situation is much much stranger then mine, she has been divorced 4 times and has two children both of whom are in jail. she is raising her two grandchildren and dating my boyfriends cousin who is 25 years old and she is 51.   the other thing is that my boyfriend would really prefer not to leave morocco at all. he wants to stay there and have me there with him. i will trust him as he has not given me reason not to. over and over he has shown his honesty even as this woman tries her best to interfere with lies. and trust me i investigated the things she said, i will not go into details here but they were blatant lies from her and her boyfriend. so again thank you all for all your responses. i am so grateful you all took time to respond. "dear Allah,when i lose hope please help me remember that your love is greater then my disappointment, and Your plans for my life are better then anything i could dream."

Assalamu alaiki newMuslimah2012.

After congratulating you, it is with pains that I am advising you. This is because most of the followers of Muhammad are ignorant about his teaching.
First of all, the advice of parents to a male is not a condition to his marrying the one he loves. Secondly telling lies to his parents in this circumstances is not a sin, for it is better he marries you then to go dating women and committing sin. Thirdly, you do not need parental consent to get married. So if he loves you and promises to look after you and help your two children just get married according to the Sunna. Suspicion is a sin in the teaching of Muhammad.

Friendship 


Edited by Friendship - 02 November 2012 at 12:56pm