Returning to Islam and making Muslim friends?

Star3214 wrote: Hello everyone, I grew up Muslim in a moderately religious family but at some point I was turned off by Islam because of the behavior and actions of the Muslims around me, including some "religious" family members who were really just mentally ill. For example I had an uncle who was "religious" and he would make me cry telling me about hell, and wouldn't stop when I cried. He was abusive to his wife and children and was so controlling that he would tie his wife to the bed at night. I have unfortunately known quite a few people like this. I indulged in Western/secular/liberal lifestyle for years and never found it satisfying or fulfilling. I felt empty and lost when I was supposed to be "happy" or when I was supposed to feel "free". I started getting more spiritual a few years ago but only in a general way, like I felt like things had reason and purpose. Recently this year I started to study Islam more and I feel like as an adult, it makes more sense. I stopped paying attention to the behavior/actions of Muslims around me because I no longer see them as representative of Islam. I don't feel comfortable talking to my family about religion because they are always judging me and I do not want to be judged. I want to be a better Muslim on my own and keep it personal but I don't know how. I also want to make Muslim friends who can help me and teach me things and support me but I don't know where to find them.

Forgive me for answering as I am not a sister.

First of all, it is very difficult living life as a Muslim in the West, it has it's trials and tribulations the main one being that we all want to be like the people around us (the non Muslims). The important thing is recognising that we are Muslims and being proud of that fact. It is easy for us to feel ashamed because of the consequences of what is happening around the world with regards to the Muslims in the Media.

If there is a masjid near you then you will find Muslimah friends there In Shaa Allah and you can connect with them there.

star3214 wrote: I have soo many questions and when I search the internet everyone says something different. For example, I read the Quran in English but I forgot how to read it in Arabic. Even when I read it in Arabic I didn't understand what I was saying, so isn't it preferable to read in English? Also I have a tattoo which I deeply regret getting, and I want to get it removed. Do I have to get it removed or will Allah forgive me? I also want to wear hijab someday but I'm afraid of the social consequences of wearing one, especially because of my work. How do Muslim women living in western countries deal with that? If anyone can answer some of my questions that would be helpful. Thanks all. :) Asya

It is important to read the Qur'an in Arabic but it doesn't matter if you don't understand it. What I do is read the Qur'an in Arabic then translate it into English, I have an electronic book that does that, but you can use the internet for translations. A good site is www.quran.com and they have six different English translations available.

With regard to the tattoo, we all make mistakes but if we all repent to Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala then He is the Most Forgiving the Most Merciful Alhamdulilah. My personal opinion is that you should not remove it if you it is not somewhere anybody can see it, removing it only leaves a mark.

With regard to the hijab, it is an order from Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala for the believing women to cover up. If you believe in Him then nothing else matters, things like what other people think and potential problems at work are all secondary. You should leave that job and find a job where a hijab is accepted, this is how strongly a Muslimah should feel. Of course, living in the West we can feel 'timid' and giving in to our fears.

Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala loves all those who return to Him and you should take this chance to change your life for the better and live a life that will be pleasing to Him. Start to build a life for the Akhira because this life is only a fleeting glance of the eye, we could die anytime, even if one lives up to the age of 100 this is nothing compared the life to come.

Reading the Qur'an and the Hadiths and the Seera of the Prophet (SalAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) and praying five times a day on time really does change one's life for the better. Believe me, you will find inner peace and happiness.

By the way, nobody can make you a good Muslims but yourself and just remember you can't save anybody nor guide as only Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala can do this.

Salaam

As salaamoalaikum sister :) Thanks so much for posting this topic. I think that it is important to not just look at all different sites when you want to relearn the quran. Pick someone on youtube who explains the quran in simple terms that helps you better understand it. First make dua before reading the quran. And ask Allah (SWT) to guide you in patient, keep shaitan away from you and help you understand the quran better. Then if you are still confused, go to youtube and listen to an imam that speaks about the quran in the most simple way for you. For example, nouman ali khan goes through all the surahs by each ayat. there are many who do this but you must find the one who teaches it in the way that you like to learn.
Google a nearby masjid and go to jumah on Friday. Tell someone that it is your first time there and asked to be introduced or pointed to the lady who usually knows about classes there, etc. Look at the fliers inside of the masjid and on its' website and attend anything that seems to be fun for you on the weekend. For example, maybe people are still having yardsales at the masjid and they still need volunteers. If they don't, then go to shop. You will always find women who just like to come to chat only.   If you go to the classes that are offered there, I am sure that you will meet some friends there who would be fun for you. And at the same time you can learn more about our faith. I am so proud of you that you realized you can not look at the people who practice islam but the religion itself.   I am also so happy that Allah called you back to study islam.
Any fear you have about wearing the hijab is shaitan. I wear my scarf to work. My job requires me to move to different states every three months. So therefore, most of the places I travel too don't have muslims near by. Usually I have to travel one hour away to go to the masjid. So with that said, that means that at work there are usually not a lot of women who are muslim. And if I met them then they know me by my hijab. I give so much dawah by wearing my hijab alone. There are so many people who ask me about my faith. And there is usually one muslim who will come to me and ask me if I received any problems from people because I wear hijab. And the answer is usually no. There are ignorant people. But they are everywhere. If it is not about your scarf then it could be about something else. A mean person will sought out his victim. And if it so happen to be you in a scarf then it was meant for you to go through that. Anyway if I could count back to one year, I would say that maybe 4 or more muslims have been so encouraged to want to wear their scarf only because I have mine on. I met this sister at work three weeks ago and when she saw me, she told me that she is muslim but she does not wear her scarf at work. So Allah has blessed her to wear it the next day and she has not taken it off. She was at that job for two months and people were so surprised that she was muslim. When I asked her how did they treat her there, she said that everyone was so supportive. So you should be more fearful of not following Allah's commandments than being fearful of the actions of human beings. I do understand you but I also want you to remember that everything is a test. And at the end of the day, we all will be questioned on everything we did do or did not do.
If you have any questions about islam, you can start posting them here too:)
I hope this my answers had help you. :)


Edited by lady - 10 September 2014 at 4:31pm