Long rant need serious help! failing marriage

Salaam,

I have been married for 3 years now. My living arrangement is a bit weird. I stay with my mother who lives by herself Monday through Friday and go home to my husband during the weekend. We never meant for this to happen but it became an easy arrangement as I work nights and he works mornings so we would never see each other anyways during the week and I dont want my mom to be completely alone either.

Maybe it backfired on me because my husband bought a dog last year despite me not wanting one. His reason was he is lonely and misses his family who live in another state. I allowed it because at the time I felt bad for him but I had made it crystal clear before and after marriage that I was not happy with keeping dogs as pets.

Just a little background he does not support me financially at all. He is not there for me emotionally. He pays the mortgage and I pay for the groceries and bills despite the fact he makes double what I make and he also knows I support my mother. We are seriously living like roomates. So I struggle financially and I am in a lot of debt because of it. I dont want to ruin my marriage and I cant stop supporting my mom either so I am in a bad situation.

We just had a newborn baby (which he didnt want) and I have asked my husband to get rid of the dog for the babies sake before I come home. Now that I am on leave from work I would like to be together as a family. My husband has asked me 3 times for a divorce the week I delivered but he always gets back to normal. Even if hes not serious it is still hurtful. He refuses to give the dog away and I know he will not anytime soon.

I am not religious and neither is he but I want to become a better Muslimah and I definitely want my child to grow up a pious Muslim. I also want him to help more with our house expenses and the baby right now he splits everything in half with me which is super annoying because he shouldnt be that way especially when it comes to his child ! I dont want a divorce but is it better for the baby and I in the long run given my husbands behavior?

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revoir2 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Joined: 19 December 2016 Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote revoir2 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Long rant need serious help! failing marriage Posted: 20 December 2016 at 6:13pm
	she wants me to make it work but she doesnt intervene too much. my husband is here in this country because of me and he always threatens to quit his job so i have to support him. its really disgusting.

abuayisha Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105	Post Options Post Reply Quote abuayisha Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 20 December 2016 at 8:27am
	Salaams, and welcome! What is your mom's opinion about your troubles?

revoir2 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Joined: 19 December 2016 Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote revoir2 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 19 December 2016 at 6:22pm
	Salaam, I have been married for 3 years now. My living arrangement is a bit weird. I stay with my mother who lives by herself Monday through Friday and go home to my husband during the weekend. We never meant for this to happen but it became an easy arrangement as I work nights and he works mornings so we would never see each other anyways during the week and I dont want my mom to be completely alone either. Maybe it backfired on me because my husband bought a dog last year despite me not wanting one. His reason was he is lonely and misses his family who live in another state. I allowed it because at the time I felt bad for him but I had made it crystal clear before and after marriage that I was not happy with keeping dogs as pets. Just a little background he does not support me financially at all. He is not there for me emotionally. He pays the mortgage and I pay for the groceries and bills despite the fact he makes double what I make and he also knows I support my mother. We are seriously living like roomates. So I struggle financially and I am in a lot of debt because of it. I dont want to ruin my marriage and I cant stop supporting my mom either so I am in a bad situation. We just had a newborn baby (which he didnt want) and I have asked my husband to get rid of the dog for the babies sake before I come home. Now that I am on leave from work I would like to be together as a family. My husband has asked me 3 times for a divorce the week I delivered but he always gets back to normal. Even if hes not serious it is still hurtful. He refuses to give the dog away and I know he will not anytime soon. I am not religious and neither is he but I want to become a better Muslimah and I definitely want my child to grow up a pious Muslim. I also want him to help more with our house expenses and the baby right now he splits everything in half with me which is super annoying because he shouldnt be that way especially when it comes to his child ! I dont want a divorce but is it better for the baby and I in the long run given my husbands behavior?