Marriage & Cultural Differences

Assalam Alaykom brothers and sister.

I am writing because I have found myself in a very difficult situation, that of which I feel as if there are not many that I can talk to that may understand my thoughts or feelings.

Here is a little background, I was born and raised here in America and just recently found my way to Islam. With all thanks to Allah, this kind young man introduced me to Islam and has helped turn my life around. In the time that we have spent together, we have fallen deeply in love.

This man and his family are originally from Amman, Jordan. He moved here 5 years ago to finish high school and his family just joined him here in the States last year. From the first week that I had met this man I came to realize how devout him and his family are to Islam, which I find to be a beautiful thing. Have never known much about the religion I was very surprised when he told me that he could not hug, touch, or kiss me when we spent time together.

Prior to us meeting he had not spoken with or talked to any girls, as this was not something that was allowed in his household. We originally met through business and have stayed in touch, and as the time passed realized that we had a strong connection.

Several months into our friendship, he decided to approach his mother in regards to having a halal relationship and getting engaged. His mother was not opposed to the idea and she had her concerns, but she was also not aware that he was already talking to someone (me) that he was interested in getting engaged with. When this finally came out in the discussion, things suddenly changed. She came to realize that he was asking to marry an girl that is neither Arab or Muslim.

This quickly changed things in our relationship as we both started to fear that we may not be able to be together. He then decided to approach his father in regards to this, as he was obviously going to be the deciding factor in it all.

That did not go well.

I have yet to hear all that was said between the conversation between him and his parents but the little that I did get was heartbreaking.

His father basically told him that him considering to marry a non-Arab, non-Muslim girl, not from the east was completely unacceptable. He even went as far to say that he would take his 5 siblings (him being the oldest) and move them all back to Jordan and never speak to him again should he decide to continue our relationship.

I had no idea what to expect from the conversation, but this didn't even come close to mind. The two of us are completely lost and heart broken and we have no idea what to do. Neither of us want to stop talking, but neither of us agree that him leaving his family is a good choice either.

Feeling completely lost and unsure what to do, I am turning here to see if anyone has any advice. Whether it be advice on us moving in different directions in our lives or how we can overcome this obstacle with his parents. His is afraid to talk to his parents again since the last time he actually ended up living on the streets and out of friends cars for nearly a week.

- Sincerely- the broken hearted