Mother

thank you

I think they mean both ways...Financially and emotionally...Financially i have asked them to come and stay with me and they would not have any expenses as i would be able to take care of them...but as living in a western country i would not be able to support them as well if they choose to live away from me as supporting two households becomes very difficult. Everytime i do go visit and try to talk to them in a pleasant manner they have always just said very hurtful things. I have tried to also emotionally connect with them by sharing my life with them but they are not interested...they never call me to ask me how i am or msg...i have asked them this as well as to why they dont call me or talk to me and they dont say anything... its always me who calls them which i dont mind but it would feel nice to know ur parents are thinking of you and called you...i am apologized to them if i hurt them with my decision but i have also tried and explained that i am very happy in my life and will always want them to be a part of it. I have tried to go over to there house evertime i am in the city but they are never interested in hearing about my LIfe ( i dont talk about my wife only about me ) and we are just quite sitting there because they have nothing to add... a few days ago i called my mom and said i just want to fix things i miss u... and she said the only way she will bless me is if i leave my wife and thats it and then just said really bad words... i never said anything about my wife i just wanted to fix our relation soo we can talk about anything but it really hurt to hear the things she had said that day.

I live about 3000km away from them due to work. And no we dont have kids yet but inshallah soon we will

Edited by newconvert789 - 22 November 2017 at 5:57am

Assalam u alaikum,
I am here to share a problem to which I really don�t know how to handle. About 7 years ago I met a girl and she was non-muslim and I knew I liked her a lot so I asked her if she would be willing to convert otherwise we will not be able to be together. She read about Islam and said she would convert. I knew that once she converts it would be very hard on her family and I wanted to marry her. I shared this with my parents and they both said no. I tried to convince them for 6 months shared how I feel about her and how she is converted already and I want to marry her now. They did not agree and never wanted to meet her.
At this time her parents started looking for guys in her religion to marry and the pressure was building. So I married her without my parents being there. This made them very upset but I apologized. I didn�t know who I could turn to. Further I was told that if I wanted to be with her then I would have to keep her outside as she was not allowed in my house and my parents would never accept her.
Me and my wife started to live on our own. We are very happy mashallah but over the years I have always tried to convince my parents to meet her and talk to her so they can get to know her. My dad is refuse to ever meet her and has never talked to my wife of 7 years now. My mother every time I talk to her says that she is not a good muslim and the only way she will talk to her is if she leaves her parents. She then went on to say that she is a kafir even though my wife has converted. When ever I call my mother to talk to her we always end up fighting because she would call my wife names and swear words that degrades her and when I asked her to stop she doesn�t which then results in a fight and her not talking to me. I have been trying to 7 years now and feel totally lost. The last time I spoke to my mother she said the only way she will be happy is if I leave my wife because she is the problem. she thinks that I have moved away from my deen because of my wife. They have never spent even a day with her to know what she is like.
Now I am being blamed for leaving the parents. Not caring about them even thought I am the one who always calls them in the seven years I have been married they have never called me to ask how I am doing when will I come to see them. I have always made the effort and will continue but I feel like nothing is enough. I Just want to know if there is something that I am missing or what I can do to fix it. I have talked to my sisters and all they say is she is our mother you should talk to her and spend time with her. How do you spend time with someone who doesn�t accept the biggest part of your life. Who never call you to ask you how are you. I asked them to come and stay with me even come and visit when I bought a new house but they refused and said they would never come as long as my wife is there. My sisters also blame me and say that I have not done enough as being the only son and I have left them ( my parents). However I feel like I have been trying since 7 years to make them a part of my happiness and they keep pushing me away.
Please help
Thank you in advance for all the help