My older sister is sinning

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   Assalamu Alykum sisters,

I'm finding this post after 5 months, hope you will read it, What Sister Amina stated is good and fine; however I'm a bit of a different  opinion about being silent about what is going on around us, of course I like people who mind their business, but when it comes to sinning and wrong doing, we as Muslims are not supposed to hold our tongue, we must advise the wrong doers about what they are doing, because we are orders by our Deen to make (Amer Bilma'roof and Nahi a'n Munkar), and we would be mistaken if we just pass by and keep our mouth shut when something wrong is going on or some person is doing bad things, specially our relatives, as our Deen teaches us that the one/ones who most deserve our good deeds and cooperation are our relatives then the rest of Muslims and at broad all Humans.
Therefore I would advise our sister to talk to her sister and explain to her what path she taking and how it's a sin to do so.....etc, may be she listens, and stop doing that, otherwise Allah will reward her for what she has done....but if she keep silent while her sister doing all that I afraid Allah won't be pleased with that.....

excuse my mistakes I'm in hurry.....

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shaheed Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 29 March 2007 Status: Offline Points: 37	Post Options Post Reply Quote shaheed Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: My older sister is sinning Posted: 11 December 2018 at 4:50am
	Assalamu Alykum sisters, I'm finding this post after 5 months, hope you will read it, What Sister Amina stated is good and fine; however I'm a bit of a different opinion about being silent about what is going on around us, of course I like people who mind their business, but when it comes to sinning and wrong doing, we as Muslims are not supposed to hold our tongue, we must advise the wrong doers about what they are doing, because we are orders by our Deen to make (Amer Bilma'roof and Nahi a'n Munkar), and we would be mistaken if we just pass by and keep our mouth shut when something wrong is going on or some person is doing bad things, specially our relatives, as our Deen teaches us that the one/ones who most deserve our good deeds and cooperation are our relatives then the rest of Muslims and at broad all Humans. Therefore I would advise our sister to talk to her sister and explain to her what path she taking and how it's a sin to do so.....etc, may be she listens, and stop doing that, otherwise Allah will reward her for what she has done....but if she keep silent while her sister doing all that I afraid Allah won't be pleased with that..... excuse my mistakes I'm in hurry.....

lucystratford Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 13 November 2018 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 8	Post Options Post Reply Quote lucystratford Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 29 November 2018 at 8:07am
	Totally agree that you shouldn't blame her, it's her business and her choices. Focus on yourself is the best thing you could do with your life! <3

Muslimamna Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Joined: 27 September 2014 Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote Muslimamna Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 29 July 2018 at 7:29am
	Salaam, There are 2 issues here. One is your resentment towards her using the deen to guilt you over the years which as a result of her perceived actions, now has manifested as anger. Two is the overly concern for her behaviour and its impact on your parents. For the first one, you need to deal with your anger or you will only get stressed and more angry. Turn to Allah swt and pray sincerely, spend time remembering Him and do dhikr to help calm yourself down. Understand that we are only accountable for our own actions and not those of others, so focus on yourself and heal the anger within you so you can insha Allah get reward for this and feel better too. For the second point, what your sister is doing is based on conversations. You have done the right thing to not assume too much and to try and distance yourself from these conversations IN MY OPINION. You did not mention what her response was to your request for her to take calls elsewhere. If she has private conversations in your presence, you could listen to Qur'an on your earphones, leave the room and engage in some other activity to remove yourself from the situation and not feel affected by it so much. Pray for her to be guided and when you have expelled the anger from within, then try to reason with her if this is an option. The main thing to do is focus on the core problem which is not your sister's actions but their affect on you. Turn to Allah swt. He will always listen to you. You never have to feel like you can't talk to anyone because we are so blessed that whenever we raise our hands and make dua, our Lord hears us and He is the only one who can change things. Be sincere in your dua, remember Allah swt with more frequency. Read more Qur'an to bring peace to your heart and have sincere faith that things will improve. I hope this helps you cope better and you find peace insha Allah.

Amina899 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 06 July 2018 Status: Offline Points: 3	Post Options Post Reply Quote Amina899 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 06 July 2018 at 1:54am
	Hello everyone, I am conflicted on what to do about my older sister’s various sinning. She is older than me by a number of years. Some of the things I know she has done for sure: dated non-Muslims, went clubbing, and drank alcohol. Other things are just suspicions and I always give people the benefit of the doubt. I did not purposely want to know she did these things. I did not snoop around her things. The way I found out these things was because sometimes I would wake up to her conversations with friends on the phone and not knowing what to do, I would pretend to go back to sleep and hear all of these things. In hindsight, that was a terrible thing and I should’ve just woken up fully instead of attempt to sleep again/pretend to sleep. I told her the other day (after being visibly uncomfortable) for her to stop calling her friends in our room (we share a closet for a room) and to go elsewhere when having these conversations. I’m the type of person to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business, since what other people do is for them and Allah only and I have my own life to deal with. However, one thing that has angered me is that she would guilt me using the deen for so many years, yet here she is doing many sinful things. She is extremely hypocritical. I can’t talk to her about it, for I am younger than her and have no authority over her whatsoever. It’ll just serve to harm our relationship. I can’t tell anyone in our family, because it’ll just break our family apart. My parents have health issues and are old, and I would really rather not have them stressed. I can’t talk to friends about it because I don’t want her getting the evil eye/most of my friends are not Muslim so they wouldn’t understand the issue. I have no one to talk to about this and although I’m the type to hold my tongue, it’s getting harder and harder to bare alone. Basically, I can’t talk to anyone, and I have no idea how to cope with all of this.