My mom is against my choice of spouse

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   Assalamu alaikum

I've been talking to this brother for a couple of weeks whom I met on the internet. We haven't seen each other yet because we wanted my parents approval before meeting. Our intentions are clear and we've discussed all the important things right in the beginning. I'm a sister from the Middle East who was born and raised in the West. I've been living on my own though for 2 years in this country since my family moved back to our homeland. I was raised islamically though my parents were never really strict. By that I mean that my parents chose some things that they practice and some things they don't (such as praying). In the last few years I came closer to Islam alhamdulillah and started praying without telling my family because I was scared of their reaction. I've generally been trying to become a better muslim day by day. Concerning this brother, I told my parents separately that I was talking to someone and that we'd like to meet each other. My father approved and told me to go ahead. My mother on the other hand said that she needed some time and a couple of days later she exploded and told me if I married this man, I would lose her. The only reason she's giving me is that I won't be happy because he's from another culture (African) and she won't be able to communicate with him.

I don't know what to do. We decided that we still want to meet each other since we have the approval of my father but he told me that he can't marry me if my mom doesn't approve. We're going to try to win my mom over but if she doesn't approve he doesn't want us to get married. I told my mom before that I didn't want to marry from my culture (for several reasons). What can I do? I also made up my mind that if my mom doesn't approve and this brother doesn't want to get married that I will never get married. I don't want to marry a brother from my culture and if my mom doesn't approve with someone from another country I will stay single. Is this also wrong islamically? I know that we should get married but what happens in this situation? Is it wrong from me to think that I don't want to get married to someone from my culture?

I couldn't talk to my mom about this brother. She doesn't know anything about him only where he's from and his age. She also doesn't seem to understand that culture isn't as important as religion... I prayed istikhara before talking to my parents which gave me the courage to talk to my parents. I sill have a very calm and positive feeling when I think about this brother even in this situation. Since I'm living in another country I wouldn't know how to contact an imaam near my parents. In my family I don't have anyone else besides my dad who will support me.

What should I do?

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seyugmec Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 12 October 2018 Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote seyugmec Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: My mom is against my choice of spouse Posted: 12 October 2018 at 5:13am
	Assalamu alaikum I've been talking to this brother for a couple of weeks whom I met on the internet. We haven't seen each other yet because we wanted my parents approval before meeting. Our intentions are clear and we've discussed all the important things right in the beginning. I'm a sister from the Middle East who was born and raised in the West. I've been living on my own though for 2 years in this country since my family moved back to our homeland. I was raised islamically though my parents were never really strict. By that I mean that my parents chose some things that they practice and some things they don't (such as praying). In the last few years I came closer to Islam alhamdulillah and started praying without telling my family because I was scared of their reaction. I've generally been trying to become a better muslim day by day. Concerning this brother, I told my parents separately that I was talking to someone and that we'd like to meet each other. My father approved and told me to go ahead. My mother on the other hand said that she needed some time and a couple of days later she exploded and told me if I married this man, I would lose her. The only reason she's giving me is that I won't be happy because he's from another culture (African) and she won't be able to communicate with him. I don't know what to do. We decided that we still want to meet each other since we have the approval of my father but he told me that he can't marry me if my mom doesn't approve. We're going to try to win my mom over but if she doesn't approve he doesn't want us to get married. I told my mom before that I didn't want to marry from my culture (for several reasons). What can I do? I also made up my mind that if my mom doesn't approve and this brother doesn't want to get married that I will never get married. I don't want to marry a brother from my culture and if my mom doesn't approve with someone from another country I will stay single. Is this also wrong islamically? I know that we should get married but what happens in this situation? Is it wrong from me to think that I don't want to get married to someone from my culture? I couldn't talk to my mom about this brother. She doesn't know anything about him only where he's from and his age. She also doesn't seem to understand that culture isn't as important as religion... I prayed istikhara before talking to my parents which gave me the courage to talk to my parents. I sill have a very calm and positive feeling when I think about this brother even in this situation. Since I'm living in another country I wouldn't know how to contact an imaam near my parents. In my family I don't have anyone else besides my dad who will support me. What should I do?