Islamic marriage

Assalamo alaykom, I decided to share my story in this forum to seek opinions and advice. I have a 14 year old boy from a previous marriage and now i have a 1 year old from my second so called marriage. I say that because i never felt like i’m the wife of my baby’s father. I met this guy 8 years before i had my baby. The relationship developed little by little. He asked Me for marriage but in secret i refused and told him he has to see my mom. After insisting on this and threatening to leave him he brought a ring and came home, after that we recoted Alfatiha and again when we travelled to back home together we had a small Quran sada9a in my prents home and invited a few of my family and recited Alfatiha again. Then i started having this desire to have a bay and of course i had to insist on that too until he finally agreed and i got pregnant. All this and we still were living in separate hones. So when i got pregnant we started looking for a home to buy and move in together. After looking 5 months he changed his mind claiming he can’t afford it now and suggested that i move into his house. I refused in the beginning but after being put in the spot i had no choice but to agree. I want to say this was the biggest mistake of my life. He and his 20 year old son made my life miserable. I was disrespected, cursed at, accused of stealing, car keys were taken from me, threatened to stop supporting me, threatened to sell the house where i live now, he would stay 10 days and 2 weeks without seeing the baby or seeing me when we are steps away. The most thing that killed me is when my little sister passed away last ramadan, this person that i spent over 8 years of my life with was not there. He did buy me the ticket to attend but went right back and disputed it. Before i came back from my country and after 7 months of separation, he reached out to me again and asked to forget the past and open a new page. I did give him a last chance that he did not deserve and after not even one week he went back to himself. I decided to speak to two different Sheikhs in our neighborhood but that didn’t help, all it did is that he was telling them that there was no marriage and there is no divorce and that everyone knew he was still married to his first wife except me and that I wouldn’t be able to get anything if i go to court. I am now working as an uber driver, my baby goes to daycare which i pay for. I had to do this to pay my bills and loans. I really don’t want anything from him except my divorce and my son’s child support and i am going to move out asap. Please if anyone has an advice or opinion don’t hesitate i really need this. Thank you for reading.

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Dr. Aslam Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Admin Group Male Islam Joined: 24 February 2018 Location: California, USA Status: Offline Points: 279	Post Options Post Reply Quote Dr. Aslam Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Islamic marriage Posted: 23 October 2019 at 5:31pm
	Wa alaikum Salam, Yes the marriage was valid in the eyes of God. It would have been better if such marriage is also registered with local authorities to avoid the complications you are having it. You have every right to seek divorce and if he refuses that court is an option for you. Aslam
	Best Regards, Aslam Abdullah

Rose82 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 08 November 2018 Location: Nj Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote Rose82 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 11 November 2018 at 1:30pm
	Assalamo alaykom, I decided to share my story in this forum to seek opinions and advice. I have a 14 year old boy from a previous marriage and now i have a 1 year old from my second so called marriage. I say that because i never felt like i’m the wife of my baby’s father. I met this guy 8 years before i had my baby. The relationship developed little by little. He asked Me for marriage but in secret i refused and told him he has to see my mom. After insisting on this and threatening to leave him he brought a ring and came home, after that we recoted Alfatiha and again when we travelled to back home together we had a small Quran sada9a in my prents home and invited a few of my family and recited Alfatiha again. Then i started having this desire to have a bay and of course i had to insist on that too until he finally agreed and i got pregnant. All this and we still were living in separate hones. So when i got pregnant we started looking for a home to buy and move in together. After looking 5 months he changed his mind claiming he can’t afford it now and suggested that i move into his house. I refused in the beginning but after being put in the spot i had no choice but to agree. I want to say this was the biggest mistake of my life. He and his 20 year old son made my life miserable. I was disrespected, cursed at, accused of stealing, car keys were taken from me, threatened to stop supporting me, threatened to sell the house where i live now, he would stay 10 days and 2 weeks without seeing the baby or seeing me when we are steps away. The most thing that killed me is when my little sister passed away last ramadan, this person that i spent over 8 years of my life with was not there. He did buy me the ticket to attend but went right back and disputed it. Before i came back from my country and after 7 months of separation, he reached out to me again and asked to forget the past and open a new page. I did give him a last chance that he did not deserve and after not even one week he went back to himself. I decided to speak to two different Sheikhs in our neighborhood but that didn’t help, all it did is that he was telling them that there was no marriage and there is no divorce and that everyone knew he was still married to his first wife except me and that I wouldn’t be able to get anything if i go to court. I am now working as an uber driver, my baby goes to daycare which i pay for. I had to do this to pay my bills and loans. I really don’t want anything from him except my divorce and my son’s child support and i am going to move out asap. Please if anyone has an advice or opinion don’t hesitate i really need this. Thank you for reading.