Process of conversion

I've been wrestling with this for a few years now and would like to hear some constructive thoughts about it.

I have been interested in Islam since I first saw a fellow youth gymnast from Saudia Arabia in 1988do his morning prayer at an international camp in the USA. Something about it stuck me as authentic and grounding. I remember other gymnasts joking about what he was doing later on but it wasn't funny. Many years later I took a sociology of religion course in college and that got my spiritual motor running again, but I was raised Catholic and I really rebelled from God and all the guilt layering, shaming, and the priests who lacked inspiration and luster that would later see in some practicing Muslims and in the life of the Prophet Mohammed PBOH. I left all the god stuff and studied Buddhism for years . I partook in intensive meditation retreats (who I believe the Prophet Muhammed PBOH did ) and it brought me come to a new understanding of God/ Allah and what that means.

Many cultural roadblocks are present which I am allowing to stop my conversion.I am caucasian male living in a prodominently christian, atheist area. We have a pretty large muslim population but many are first generation Americans from all around the world. I have been to the mosque and was treated great but could tell that I was seen as " hey this white guy is lost" and these days being what they are there are a lot of crazy white males doing psyco stuff so I'd be nervous too. The cultural gaps, learning the prayers, learning arabic, learning how to pray, explaining to my wife and co workers what I am doing all sounds very difficult. I don't want to create disharmony with those that I love just because I want to practice being closer to god and expressing it externally through prayer. I am doing it now by myself kinda in secret and I feel it in my heart. But people are so quick to put labels on you, and things, and then you become more alien to them even though you are greater and more present then before.

IDK. I will sit with Allah in my heart and the answers will sort themselves but I some human shared experiences might be nice. Thx all and thanks for reading if you got all the way down to this line.

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Noor-e-hidayat Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Male Islam Joined: 07 October 2019 Location: Islamabad Pakistan Status: Offline Points: 29	Post Options Post Reply Quote Noor-e-hidayat Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Process of conversion Posted: 21 October 2019 at 3:34am
	Appreciated

Dr. Aslam Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Admin Group Male Islam Joined: 24 February 2018 Location: California, USA Status: Offline Points: 279	Post Options Post Reply Quote Dr. Aslam Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 July 2019 at 3:11pm
	Salam Alaikum, What is important is your personal relations with God. That is what it counts ultimately. Do not bother about what people say or do. How you get closer to God is the question. Read the divine guidance and see how are they relevant to you personally. Once you realize that start interacting with people on that basis and regulating your life accordingly. Aslam
	Best Regards, Aslam Abdullah

2befree Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Male Joined: 17 November 2018 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 5	Post Options Post Reply Quote 2befree Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 21 November 2018 at 9:57pm
	I've been wrestling with this for a few years now and would like to hear some constructive thoughts about it. I have been interested in Islam since I first saw a fellow youth gymnast from Saudia Arabia in 1988do his morning prayer at an international camp in the USA. Something about it stuck me as authentic and grounding. I remember other gymnasts joking about what he was doing later on but it wasn't funny. Many years later I took a sociology of religion course in college and that got my spiritual motor running again, but I was raised Catholic and I really rebelled from God and all the guilt layering, shaming, and the priests who lacked inspiration and luster that would later see in some practicing Muslims and in the life of the Prophet Mohammed PBOH. I left all the god stuff and studied Buddhism for years . I partook in intensive meditation retreats (who I believe the Prophet Muhammed PBOH did ) and it brought me come to a new understanding of God/ Allah and what that means. Many cultural roadblocks are present which I am allowing to stop my conversion.I am caucasian male living in a prodominently christian, atheist area. We have a pretty large muslim population but many are first generation Americans from all around the world. I have been to the mosque and was treated great but could tell that I was seen as " hey this white guy is lost" and these days being what they are there are a lot of crazy white males doing psyco stuff so I'd be nervous too. The cultural gaps, learning the prayers, learning arabic, learning how to pray, explaining to my wife and co workers what I am doing all sounds very difficult. I don't want to create disharmony with those that I love just because I want to practice being closer to god and expressing it externally through prayer. I am doing it now by myself kinda in secret and I feel it in my heart. But people are so quick to put labels on you, and things, and then you become more alien to them even though you are greater and more present then before. IDK. I will sit with Allah in my heart and the answers will sort themselves but I some human shared experiences might be nice. Thx all and thanks for reading if you got all the way down to this line.