I hate my father

A.O.A

My father is great. He loves me provide all necessities and other luxuries. I know he loves me, stresses over my education and health. Talks kindly he a average father.

But he is not a good husband. It's like he doesn't understand that my mother is a human and she had feelings too. He constantly insult her in front her family, maids and us. At the very beginning of there relationship also used to hit her for most trivial reason. But with time he should have change now he doesn't use hands but constantly give her mental stress. She have become a patient of depression. Her health is ruined bcuz of him. I fight him bcuz of her all the time and I know.it hurts him. He him self knows that he is a man of bad temperament. He changed himself for us but still can't change his behaviour with my mom. I.have seen him insulting her all my life it has gotten to the point that I have lost all my respect for him and I constantly hate him. Whenever I hear him shouting my mom, insulting her or her family all I can think is what an awful person he is. And these thoughts circle around me all day.
I had lost my trust and respect for men. I had come to the point that I STARTED hated, loath every men. Until I saw my sister's husband (bless him)
I don't want to hate him. I really don't I have no control over it. Why can't he understand that his actions are not only hurting him but us too. I cry every time he shouts I feel like dying or running away. I hate him I really do and if he doesn't stop I think I'm gonna snap someday.
I don't know what I should do. I have tried talking to him it doesn't work. He had too much of an ego. I'm tired and the fact that it's not directed towards me I get this much stress I can only wonder what my mother go through.

I don't understand why men think they have a right to insult whenever they feel like it or suppress us whenever they want. They will make us recall all the duties of women (Hijab, obedience etc) but would not give the respect and love Allah asked them. They provide us with Money and think it's there right to treat us like we are not human. I really do hate men...

P.S I'm sorry I'm litterly just ranting I.needed somewhere to where I can share my thoughts. Please forgive me if you are hurt by my words