Need Advice

AoA

She asked divorce.

Regards,

Ali

Ali, assalamu alaikum, and welcome. I suggest you stop calling your wife. Don't communicate with either woman. Allow your wife time to mourn and get past the hurt, shame and breach of trust, that she is undoubtedly feeling. Take care of your health, eat and exercise. Use this time to draw close to your Lord.

Assalam Alaykum,

I need your advice about my current situation.

I was in affair with a woman for 7 years, but at the end I knew that it wasn't working and that I should stop, but her health wasn't going proper and so I couldn't say to her that I don't want her.

In parallel my parents find a woman for me and say that I am going to marry her. I was ready but the Ex was still there, I didnt see her just talk to her because I know she is very weak and if I say something she can damage herself.

So it goes on, I even talk about her about a woman (my actual wife) who was raped etc so at a time I would tell the Ex that I am marrying this girl and she will be compassionate and not damage herself or try to damage my family.

Then I married, and I told a day before to my ex. Sorry I can't marry you. But then things start to go wrong she was so bad, so weak... so crazy... trying to suicide herself many times... so I couldn't help and I say to her that I love her and that I will marry her and things gonna be allright. (she didn't that I was married).

Later she called me everyday and when I didn't reply she comes to my office and cry in front of my colleagues.. she threatened me to marry her etc.... I was just saying things so she could calm her anger and sadness.

But then she realise that I was married and that was a huge storm... she send her brothers and family members to kill me or hurt my family etc, but Alhumdullilah they stopped now.

6 months went, I never told my wife this to protect her from this family and also bcz that was a thing from the past which I am ashamed of and I just wanted ALLAH to forgive me and to forgive that ex who I hurt also.

My wife met my ex at a conference about Islam. I warned her and forbid her to talk with my ex and I just say that girl and I have some issues from the past, just don't talk to her. My wife did talk to her.

The Ex sent all messages emails, photos, where I was with her, and things where I was saying her that I Love her and that I want to marry her. All this things in which i was just trying to calm her anger and not create problems.

And now my wife leaved our home. She asked her brothers to come and take all the stuff who belongs to her. My mum was at my place they rudely behaved with her.

I called her, I messaged her, she just keep ignoring. I said to her that I am sorry, I repent from all my past I just want her to be right here and to keep our marriage tight so we can have a stronger bond for the future InshaALLAH. Nobody is calling back, even her parents are avoiding me. They are not even letting me talk.

What should I do ? Please help me. I am very desesperate.

Thank you

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Ali_123 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Male Islam Joined: 07 April 2020 Location: France Status: Offline Points: 4	Post Options Post Reply Quote Ali_123 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Need Advice Posted: 15 April 2020 at 4:13am
	AoA She asked divorce. Regards, Ali

Ali_123 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Male Islam Joined: 07 April 2020 Location: France Status: Offline Points: 4	Post Options Post Reply Quote Ali_123 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 12 April 2020 at 8:39am
	Walaykum Assalam... Thank you for your messages. I stopped calling my wife. The other girl i just sent her a message to ask what can I do for forgiveness but she didnt reply either. I am just here waiting, but in the meantime I am praying more and more. Doing tawbah and zikr for ALLAH swt. Thank you all for your help.

abuayisha Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105	Post Options Post Reply Quote abuayisha Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 12 April 2020 at 6:22am
	Ali, assalamu alaikum, and welcome. I suggest you stop calling your wife. Don't communicate with either woman. Allow your wife time to mourn and get past the hurt, shame and breach of trust, that she is undoubtedly feeling. Take care of your health, eat and exercise. Use this time to draw close to your Lord.

Dr. Aslam Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Admin Group Male Islam Joined: 24 February 2018 Location: California, USA Status: Offline Points: 279	Post Options Post Reply Quote Dr. Aslam Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 11 April 2020 at 1:24pm
	Salam Alaikum, I understand your situation. The only way you can mend it to apologize to both for being insensitive to their feelings. I have no idea how would they react, but at least in your mind you would be clear that you have admitted your wrong and apologized for that. It appears that both of them were not told facts and you kept the reality hidden from them. Please admit the wrong and ask forgiveness from Allah and from both of them. I have idea how things would improve but what I can say that you can at least do your beast to seek forgiveness from those who you have hurt. AA
	Best Regards, Aslam Abdullah

Ali_123 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Male Islam Joined: 07 April 2020 Location: France Status: Offline Points: 4	Post Options Post Reply Quote Ali_123 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 07 April 2020 at 3:00am
	Assalam Alaykum, I need your advice about my current situation. I was in affair with a woman for 7 years, but at the end I knew that it wasn't working and that I should stop, but her health wasn't going proper and so I couldn't say to her that I don't want her. In parallel my parents find a woman for me and say that I am going to marry her. I was ready but the Ex was still there, I didnt see her just talk to her because I know she is very weak and if I say something she can damage herself. So it goes on, I even talk about her about a woman (my actual wife) who was raped etc so at a time I would tell the Ex that I am marrying this girl and she will be compassionate and not damage herself or try to damage my family. Then I married, and I told a day before to my ex. Sorry I can't marry you. But then things start to go wrong she was so bad, so weak... so crazy... trying to suicide herself many times... so I couldn't help and I say to her that I love her and that I will marry her and things gonna be allright. (she didn't that I was married). Later she called me everyday and when I didn't reply she comes to my office and cry in front of my colleagues.. she threatened me to marry her etc.... I was just saying things so she could calm her anger and sadness. But then she realise that I was married and that was a huge storm... she send her brothers and family members to kill me or hurt my family etc, but Alhumdullilah they stopped now. 6 months went, I never told my wife this to protect her from this family and also bcz that was a thing from the past which I am ashamed of and I just wanted ALLAH to forgive me and to forgive that ex who I hurt also. My wife met my ex at a conference about Islam. I warned her and forbid her to talk with my ex and I just say that girl and I have some issues from the past, just don't talk to her. My wife did talk to her. The Ex sent all messages emails, photos, where I was with her, and things where I was saying her that I Love her and that I want to marry her. All this things in which i was just trying to calm her anger and not create problems. And now my wife leaved our home. She asked her brothers to come and take all the stuff who belongs to her. My mum was at my place they rudely behaved with her. I called her, I messaged her, she just keep ignoring. I said to her that I am sorry, I repent from all my past I just want her to be right here and to keep our marriage tight so we can have a stronger bond for the future InshaALLAH. Nobody is calling back, even her parents are avoiding me. They are not even letting me talk. What should I do ? Please help me. I am very desesperate. Thank you