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Future marriage - Please help

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Akn26 View Drop Down
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Islam
Joined: 31 August 2020
Location: Qtr
Status: Offline
Points: 2
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    Posted: 31 August 2020 at 7:34am
AL salaam alaykum to whoever answers or sees this question. I am younger than you’d think (15) and I did have some forbidden feelings of same-sex which i decided to stop and leave it in the past, as I felt guilty thinking of hell and thinking of Allah and how I want to grow up and be happily married to a pious Women. I always read that a person that has the same issue as me should get married when they get older, as marriage is considered half of a person’s deen and it’s really beneficial for people. As for now, I only have little sexual feelings towards women, but I still want to get married and have kids. What should I do? Should I get married, have kids and keep my thoughts for myself? I really don’t want to tell anyone about my problem but I’m mainly wanting to get married for the sake of Allah and the love I have for Allah. I don’t want to tell my future wife that I am not that sexually attracted to woman, since I want to get married to someone that I would love the same way we love our mothers, but also be there for them when they decide that they wanted children. I am depressed every night for 5 days now thinking of my future marriage and whether it would be considered as “lies” to get married to someone that you aren’t very sexually attracted to. Please help me, I know im so young but I cant stop feeling sad and depressed, i need an answer and I hope the answer gives my heart a great relief from the guilt and sadness i went through these past days. I’m truly ready to get married to someone to produce offsprings and grow the population of islam, and to marry for the sake of my creator, but I don’t want to tell anyone like my parents or my future wife,  about my past internal feelings that I had. I need help. :(   I need an answer to this, thank you :(Cry
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