Al-Gebra Cell Nabbed

Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic

   NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a
calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us,"
Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.

They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as
'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator
of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every
triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more
intelligent or profound statement by the President.

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic
MOCKBA Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Joined: 27 September 2000 Location: Malaysia Status: Offline Points: 1410	Post Options Post Reply Quote MOCKBA Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Al-Gebra Cell Nabbed Posted: 16 October 2006 at 7:44pm
	NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
	MOCKBA