husband and wife

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing , you will be successfull

I think "The Silent Treatment" joke is so funny and the "CREATION" one thats how women feel alie. (Sorry to say guys)

By the way about the "UNDERSTANDING WOMEN" (the spider thing) Spiders are scary.......You would have to be a lady to understand.

LOVE THEM JOKES DOE.

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws "

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,

and still be afraid of a spider.

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be

so st**id and so beautiful all at the same time.

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me st**id so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,

and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and

you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible

that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament

and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ .."HEBREWS"

God may have created man before woman,

but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic
Angel Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 03 July 2001 Status: Offline Points: 6641	Post Options Post Reply Quote Angel Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: husband and wife Posted: 27 June 2007 at 1:08am
	all of them....falling off my chair laughing
	~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~

Sadija Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 20 February 2007 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 88	Post Options Post Reply Quote Sadija Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 June 2007 at 11:39pm

	Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing , you will be successfull

Jammy Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 18 June 2007 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 8	Post Options Post Reply Quote Jammy Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 19 June 2007 at 3:28pm
	My little cousin Told me this joke...... I was laughing so much. Its so st**id. okay ready>>>>>>>>>>>>> Your so dumb, you set on top of the T.V AND WATCH THE Couch. Okay maybe its not that funny BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Jammy Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 18 June 2007 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 8	Post Options Post Reply Quote Jammy Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 19 June 2007 at 3:21pm
	I think "The Silent Treatment" joke is so funny and the "CREATION" one thats how women feel alie. (Sorry to say guys) By the way about the "UNDERSTANDING WOMEN" (the spider thing) Spiders are scary.......You would have to be a lady to understand. LOVE THEM JOKES DOE.

abuayisha Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105	Post Options Post Reply Quote abuayisha Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 08 May 2007 at 8:43pm
	Assuming that our administrator is a man I would guess that he is happily married because most of the jokes gave the women the advantage and surely this is a key to a happy marriage; yielding. In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous...or what?" "Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."

icforumadmin Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Admin Group Joined: 15 February 2005 Status: Offline Points: 1056	Post Options Post Reply Quote icforumadmin Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 08 May 2007 at 3:28pm
	The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws " WOMEN'S REVENGE "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally." UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. W O R D S A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" CREATION A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stid so I would be attracted to you! WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ .."HEBREWS" God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.