Still not married

 

Wow I really enjoyed reading all of that, beautiful advice, the story of UmmSalama was amazing, thanks for sharing.

 

And sister, like the others have said, don't worry, you are not alone, inshala Allah sw will give you until you are well pleased, and know that He hasn't forgotten you nor does He hate you, read surah Duha if you wish, very comforting.

 

Inshala all will be just fine

 

Regarding the hadith about marriage filling half ones deen/faith, yes I have heard of it and I hold it to be true, as far as I remember, the other half was to fear Allah.

 

Inshala by next Ramadan, you, as well as all the other single/widowed/divorced Muslims who want to get married will be wedded off, I need to eat some wedding sweets

 

 

Yes you can phrase it like that.. "lemon" lol

 

I agree with you on this. Know a number of sisters who went through this. And even a good friend, who was in good Muslim family got a "lemon" as the family completely lied and mis-represented who and what they were.

 

Which reminds me of one of Islam's aspects . . . we all know that Gheebat i.e. Back-Biting is strongly frowned upon in Islam (talking negatively behind a person's back)

 

Did you know, that only case when a Muslim is 'allowed' to bring up something negative about another Muslim - behind thier back, is in cases of Marriage?  If a Muslimah/Muslim asks another about information on thier prospective spouse, they are supposed to tell the truth, whether it be negative or positive. I believe I read a hadith about it too, but I cannot remember - so dont quote me on that. But I'm pretty sure of it. If all Muslims did that, we wouldnt end up with, how you put it, 'lemons' :p

 

Salaams,

 

You are right, too bad it doesn't always happen that way. But sometimes I can almost understand why.

 

I knew a Sister here, she is living over seas now, who wanted my husband to check on a Brother for her. He did and got some very negative information from two men who had known the prospective groom for a long time. They told my husband that the Brother had a very bad temper so they would only tell him if the information remained anonymous from the Brother in question.

 

We set the Sister down and told her everything, including the fact that these two men did not want to be known by this Brother. She insisted on knowing who they were because she asked how could she completely trust them if she didn't know who was stating these things. She promised she would not tell the "groom" anything. My husband called the men and one older man said that it was fine as long as she knew but not him, so my husband told her. 

She immediately went back to the man she wanted to marry and told him everything, including the man's name and the Brother showed up at his restaurant wanting to physically fight this old man, and caused a big commotion.  It was a mess.  Then she married him anyway and within a month she wanted a divorce.

 

The whole incident put my husband and both men in a bad situation, so I can sort of understand people's fear of getting involved. But we were honest with her and she not only chose to marry him anyway, she caused alot of trouble in the process. At least our collective conscience was clear, which it would not have been if we hadn't told her the truth.