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Talib_Asadullah View Drop Down
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Points: 128 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Talib_Asadullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 January 2009 at 10:38am
Originally posted by Chrysalis Chrysalis wrote:

As'sallamualaikum Brothers... and Imani :)

Unfortunately the reality is that we dont always find practising Muslims. . . which is why the site I think does good by asking specific details like that. That way, one can simply avoid ppl that dont match your criteria. This is an unfortunate reality we cannot avoid - i.e. non-practising Muslims. If they didnt ask all these details, how would a person know if the other one matches thier 'muslim' criteria? As for the non-hijab pics, I think its beneficial for those Brothers who want a wife that observes Hijab - because you automatically can ignore the non-hijab ones. Helps the selection process. Bro Talib and Akhe you would be surprised at the number of Muslim brothers who want non-hijab wife. I know some personally myself!

I once made a profile on a matrimonial site for a widowed sister, who was not so tech-savvy, and no responses she got were serious ones. They were just interested in 'friendship' or pictures. So one has to be really careful withmatrimonial sites like those - since online relationships carry a huge risk. . . especially for our sisters.

 
 


Wa Alaikum Salam, Sister.

So in your opinion;some good can come from these services,if used properly.
Al-Qur'an was-Sunnah
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 January 2009 at 2:51pm
Originally posted by Talib_Asadullah Talib_Asadullah wrote:


[QUOTE=Chrysalis]

As'sallamualaikum Brothers... and Imani :)


Unfortunately the reality is that we dont always find practising Muslim.

As Salaamu Alaikum Chrysalis unfortunately you are correct and I also look at the site as, there are Muslima who choose not to wear hijab just as many go by a birth name for buisness purpose.Its strange ecspecially in America because Islamic Law isnt inforced here.Its something to think about.You see men only wear kufiz on Jummah its almost like.. here we are not distiguished. I can go in my old nieghborhood and every other man has a long beard and not Muslim.I just seen a man from India with a turban and I said Salams and he told me that he was seik and on top of that he tells me India and Muslims are the same. I had to pause and thank Allah that I am Muslim.Here in America you have alot of people from the Middle East who think that if you say Arab/india/Paki/Afgani you mean Muslim.or vice versa but the truth is most are not. I had to bring that up because it plays a part on the type of people who are on that site.These are my personal experiences they do not in anyway effect on how I feel about my brothers and sisters abroad.I Love you all for Allah sake.

Edited by Akhe Abdullah - 20 January 2009 at 6:01pm
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Chrysalis View Drop Down
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Points: 2033 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chrysalis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 January 2009 at 5:10am

Talib : Actually, I have yet to hear of a successful online match - so I am not entirely convinced of the sites utility. I think there are more risks, compared to benefits -but I do know that if used properly, one could benefit from it I guess. But I also believe that Allah has destined a spouse (or not) for all of us, so really, it doesnt matter what we do . . . at the end of the day, its just fate. Smile

 
Akhe: You are right, Muslims should try and distinguish themselves physically. We should proudly display our identity - unfortunatley there are some who are not comfortable expressing thier muslim identity, or perhaps are not spiritually/mentally ready to yet - wallahualam. I try not to judge... :)
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Hayfa View Drop Down
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Points: 2368 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hayfa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 January 2009 at 11:34am
I think the difficultly  is that the Mulsim community is so vast and diverse. And yes these sites can pose a problem.. but alas thr realities of
1-being spread out all over
2-people having a hard time meeting suitable people. In cases like US, American born muslims see nothing wrong with marrying from othe cultures and yet their parents do!
3-reverts. Reverts have a tough time. Nowadays no one WANTS to be a Wali becuase  they are being blamed for bad marriages. With reverts we don't have family to help us. We don't have people we TRUST to know us well enough to pick someone out.
 
Isolation is a HUGE issue for Muslims, especially in the west. And another thing, the women at the masjid are afraid of the single Muslinm sisters as maybe it will inspire their husband to seek #2..  And just as someone is an Imam does not mena he knows how to arrange marriages. Its like counseling training. One day this nice Imam arranged a meeting and was like "okay look at each other, its okay you two talk..lol)
 
It would be gret but not all Masjid and communities are prepared to help their single members of the community.  And yes there are a percentage of nutty people but there are actualyl good people there..
 
I read an article of these private investigators in India (all women) who investigate families regarding their prospective grooms to see if they are telling the truth. It seems we need that service here as well.
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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Talib_Asadullah View Drop Down
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Points: 128 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Talib_Asadullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 January 2009 at 12:54pm
Originally posted by Hayfa Hayfa wrote:

I think the difficultly  is that the Mulsim community is so vast and diverse. And yes these sites can pose a problem.. but alas thr realities of
1-being spread out all over
2-people having a hard time meeting suitable people. In cases like US, American born muslims see nothing wrong with marrying from othe cultures and yet their parents do!
3-reverts. Reverts have a tough time. Nowadays no one WANTS to be a Wali becuase  they are being blamed for bad marriages. With reverts we don't have family to help us. We don't have people we TRUST to know us well enough to pick someone out.
 
Isolation is a HUGE issue for Muslims, especially in the west. And another thing, the women at the masjid are afraid of the single Muslinm sisters as maybe it will inspire their husband to seek #2..  And just as someone is an Imam does not mena he knows how to arrange marriages. Its like counseling training. One day this nice Imam arranged a meeting and was like "okay look at each other, its okay you two talk..lol)
 
It would be gret but not all Masjid and communities are prepared to help their single members of the community.  And yes there are a percentage of nutty people but there are actualyl good people there..
 
I read an article of these private investigators in India (all women) who investigate families regarding their prospective grooms to see if they are telling the truth. It seems we need that service here as well.


Assalamu Alaikum

Alhamduillah

When it comes to the #3 situation, I think that can be simply solved by Muslim brothers and sisters who happen to be reverts, to come around and be an active member of a Jammah. Through time, brothers and sisters will become known and their character,morals and manners will become apperant to other members of a community. This would lead to the proper marriage situations, Insha'Allah.
      Its important of Masjid's and communities to become well-versed in this aspect of the Deen, because it is very important.
Al-Qur'an was-Sunnah
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 January 2009 at 9:26pm
Originally posted by Hayfa Hayfa wrote:

In cases like US, American born muslims see nothing wrong with marrying from othe cultures
As Salaamu Alaikum Hayfa.I see nothing wrong with that.I also see that some parents have a problem with it.Unfortunately we are vastly out numbered by women witch brings up another situation multiple wives.Allah Ta ala says.Marry two three or four but one is best.Allahuakbar!
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