Trying to Love God

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   Dear All,

I am having a bit of a crises. 

Without going into the details of my lifelong hardships (everyone has them), my love for God has diminished considerably.

The most peculiar aspect of this is how I become angry and full of hate when God helps me or gives me a sign to help me. 

Maybe an illustration will help. If someone is being tortured for decades, to the breaking point, and at that point, the torturer stops and gives a bit of relief and maybe even a bit of love, that isolated incident would arouse anger, mistrust and loathing in the victim - who might feel that the giving and taking of pain, at the torturer's will, is unfair and the torturer should not deserve love.

This is an extreme example, because I know God loves me 70 times more than my mother and he certainly has not only given me torture but good times as well. However, yes, I do feel like I cannot love him anymore although that won't effect my prayers or belief.

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Castor Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Male Joined: 29 December 2010 Status: Offline Points: 8	Post Options Post Reply Quote Castor Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Trying to Love God Posted: 30 December 2010 at 12:44am
	Dear All, I am having a bit of a crises. Without going into the details of my lifelong hardships (everyone has them), my love for God has diminished considerably. The most peculiar aspect of this is how I become angry and full of hate when God helps me or gives me a sign to help me. Maybe an illustration will help. If someone is being tortured for decades, to the breaking point, and at that point, the torturer stops and gives a bit of relief and maybe even a bit of love, that isolated incident would arouse anger, mistrust and loathing in the victim - who might feel that the giving and taking of pain, at the torturer's will, is unfair and the torturer should not deserve love. This is an extreme example, because I know God loves me 70 times more than my mother and he certainly has not only given me torture but good times as well. However, yes, I do feel like I cannot love him anymore although that won't effect my prayers or belief.

pure_columbian Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Male Joined: 31 December 2010 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 74	Post Options Post Reply Quote pure_columbian Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 31 December 2010 at 7:31am
	sorry i maybe missing the point but are you asking for help or just wanted to make a statement?

Castor Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Male Joined: 29 December 2010 Status: Offline Points: 8	Post Options Post Reply Quote Castor Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 03 January 2011 at 12:22am
	i suppose its a request for help in the form of a statement. but apart from answers as to how i may be able to love God again, i would also appreciate any feedback on whether others out there may also feel they are in an estranged/ loveless relationship with God.

pure_columbian Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Male Joined: 31 December 2010 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 74	Post Options Post Reply Quote pure_columbian Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 04 January 2011 at 1:16am
	why and when did you first start hating god?

Castor Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Male Joined: 29 December 2010 Status: Offline Points: 8	Post Options Post Reply Quote Castor Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 04 January 2011 at 10:43pm
	Nevermind. Thank You for listening.

honeto Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Male Islam Joined: 20 March 2008 Location: Texas Status: Offline Points: 2487	Post Options Post Reply Quote honeto Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 January 2011 at 11:33am
	Castor, I think, in your case it seems, that you could not develop the relationship between you and God to begin with. Should that have happened you would not have said what you said. I hope and pray that God keep us all from trials and tests, but God is our last and ultimate strength where everything fails. As in my own life experiences, I find God to be most near and comforting in distressed times then ever. I firmly believe that one relationship I cannot afford to mess up is with my creator. Hasan
	The friends of God will certainly have nothing to fear, nor will they be grieved. Al Quran 10:62

Chrysalis Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033	Post Options Post Reply Quote Chrysalis Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 07 February 2011 at 4:48am
	Hi Castor... Sometimes fate throws so many trials our way that our Imaan (Faith) starts to waiver. Imaan does go up and down during our lifetime - it never stays constant... thats what the struggle in life is all about, maintaining our imaan. Some people grow nearer to God in times of distress - others get angry & disappointed, and blame Him. However the fact remains that whatever your attitude - its not going to change reality, we are stuck with it. So we might as well be positive about. What we can change is our reactions, our attitude and outlook. If I indulge in self-pity, listen to sad/angry songs, and surround myself with negative people who only reaffirm my own self-pity - I will never get out of the vicious cycle. On the other hand, I could pick myself up, be positive and productive, be around people who motivate you and encourage you. Sometimes our 'friends' can suck the life out of us with thier negative energy, others can help you look at the sunny side of life, or pull you through. Focus on all the things that didn't go wrong. Our blessings in life. There is a saying of Prophet Muhammad, never look at those above you (better off than you), but always look at those below you (those that are not as blessed you). Maybe all this sounds so very cliched to you . . . but it actually does work! Also, we should look at positive role models around us who went through trials and came out smiling. Even the Prophetic history gives examples of Prophets and Messengers who went through downright awful times - but did not damage their relationship with Allah. Prophet Ayub (r.a) suffered a disease that caused sores all over his body, Prophet Muhammad lost his wife, daughters, sons, uncle, grandfather during his lifetime, Noah not only had to suffer ridicule, his own son was his worst enemy. Moses suffered exile, Jesus was persecuted by his own people, Yusuf (Joseph) was backstabbed by his own brothers and then spent years in jail for a crime he didn't even commit! Trials and afflictions are something that the best of the best people have gone through, they are a part of life. But we should not let that damage our relationship with God... nor blame him.
	"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."

Castor Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Male Joined: 29 December 2010 Status: Offline Points: 8	Post Options Post Reply Quote Castor Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 23 March 2011 at 4:24am
	Hi Chrysalis, Thank you for that comprehensive reply. Yes, I admit, your suggestion is rather cliched, but that does not, by default, take away any of its merit. I am trying to overcome the troubles in my life and, it seems, things are, Mash-Allah, getting better. There are certain problems that may never go away - and I think Allah wants me to love Him despite these problems being constantly present in my life. There is a mantra in Christian theology that has helped me to some extent. I am not sure if you have heard of the Serenity Prayer - it goes something like this: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference." Of course the role models you have suggested greatly help as well. Therefore, it is just a matter or readjusting and accomodating new difficult circumstances into my life rather than trying to change things to make life better. This new attitude will, hopefully, renew my love for Allah. Thank you for your advice.