Question about Marriage

Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic

   I am currently attending college and I am taking a class on the the Middle East. Our focus is to gain better insights that will erase any bias we may have about your religion, culture, and ideology. I have decide to join this forum so I can further my knowledge outside the class room. 

During a discussion a few days ago we talked about marriage within the Islam religion. I would like to gain further insight on how your religion views or deals with divorce. It is a subject that interest me because I see so much of it here in america and would like to learn if its as wide spread in other regions. 

Thank you to anyone who chooses to help me in this matter.

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic
1DM2 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Male Joined: 14 January 2011 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4	Post Options Post Reply Quote 1DM2 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Question about Marriage Posted: 21 January 2011 at 8:29am
	I am currently attending college and I am taking a class on the the Middle East. Our focus is to gain better insights that will erase any bias we may have about your religion, culture, and ideology. I have decide to join this forum so I can further my knowledge outside the class room. During a discussion a few days ago we talked about marriage within the Islam religion. I would like to gain further insight on how your religion views or deals with divorce. It is a subject that interest me because I see so much of it here in america and would like to learn if its as wide spread in other regions. Thank you to anyone who chooses to help me in this matter.

semar Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Male Islam Joined: 11 March 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1830	Post Options Post Reply Quote semar Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 21 January 2011 at 10:39am
	Salam/Peace, I am not a an Islamic scholar, here what I know about marriage in Islam. Marriage is very important part in Islam. The Scripture says that marriage is 1/2 of the religion. Marriage is consider as integral part to build a healthy community. The process of marriage in Islam is very simple, might similar with in Christianity. Here the minimum requirements: 1. The bride and the groom. 2. The guardian of the bride. 3. 2 Witnesses 4. Mahr (gift from groom to the bride). This can be cash, property etc. Can be paid right away or later, even installment. Can be small things (cheap) or expensive house. Mahr will be hers, and can not be taken back without her permission. 5. Statement from both bride and groom about their willingness to marry each other. Who lead the marriage itself can be the guardian or somebody else (Islamic preacher).
	Salam/Peace, Semar "We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH) "1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"

semar Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Male Islam Joined: 11 March 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1830	Post Options Post Reply Quote semar Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 21 January 2011 at 10:58am
	After marriage the man responsible to provide the basic need of the family, such as housing, clothing, food etc. It's voluntary of the wife to help her husband in this regards. About divorce also simple. As they no longer able to leave together as a couple, they can divorce. They can divorce 2 times and remarry. After they divorce the third times they can not remarry until they marry with somebody else. After divorce there is a "grace period", that called "idah" . It's 3 months (or 3 times mens). This is the waiting time before the woman can marry somebody else. During this time, if they change their mind, they reestablish their marriage without doing "marriage ceremony". The Islamic scripture says that "divorce" is halal (permissible) but it's hated by God (Allah). Edited by semar - 22 January 2011 at 11:09pm
	Salam/Peace, Semar "We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH) "1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"

semar Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Male Islam Joined: 11 March 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1830	Post Options Post Reply Quote semar Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 21 January 2011 at 11:02am
	The following I copied from about.com. It's simialr with what I said, just more complicated (modern) versions of it: http://islam.about.com/od/marriage/a/contract.htm The Islamic Marriage Contract Required elements for a legal Islamic marriage In Islam, marriage is considered both a social agreement and a legal contract. In modern times, the marriage contract is signed in the presence of an Islamic judge, imam, or trusted community elder who is familiar with Islamic law. The process of signing the contract is usually a private affair, involving only the immediate families of the bride and groom. Marriage Contract Conditions Negotiating and signing the contract is a requirement of marriage under Islamic law, and certain conditions must be upheld in order for it to be binding and recognized. �Consent � Both the groom and the bride must consent to the marriage, verbally and in writing. This is done through a formal proposal of marriage (ijab) and acceptance of the proposal (qabul). A first-time bride is usually represented in the contract negotiations by her Wali, a male guardian who looks out for her best interests. Even so, the bride must also express her willingness to enter into marriage. Consent cannot be obtained from those who are legally unable to give it, i.e. people who are incapacitated, minor children, and those who have physical or mental impairments which limit their capacity to understand and consent to a legal contract. �Mahr � This word is often translated as �dowry� but is better expressed as �bridal gift.� The bride has a right to receive a gift from the groom which remains her own property as security in the marriage. The gift is payable directly to the bride and remains her sole property, even in case of later divorce. The mahr can be cash, jewelry, property, or any other valuable asset. Either full payment or an agreed-upon payment schedule is required at the time of contract signature. The mahr may also be deferred until termination of the marriage through death or divorce; in such an instance the unpaid mahr becomes a debt against the husband�s estate. �Witnesses � Two adult witnesses are required to verify the marriage contract. �Prenuptial Contract Conditions � Either the bride or the groom may submit contract conditions which, if agreed upon, become legally-binding conditions of marriage. Often such conditions include agreements about the country of the couple�s residence, the wife�s ability to continue her education or career life, or vistation with in-laws. Any condition that is allowable in Islamic law is allowed to be entered, as long as both parties agree. After Contract Signature After the contract is signed, a couple is legally married and enjoy all the rights and responsibilities of marriage. In many cultures, however, the couple do not formally share a household until after the public wedding celebration (walimah). Depending on the culture, this celebration may be held hours, days, weeks, or even months later. Edited by semar - 21 January 2011 at 11:09am
	Salam/Peace, Semar "We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH) "1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"

semar Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Male Islam Joined: 11 March 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1830	Post Options Post Reply Quote semar Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 21 January 2011 at 11:10am
	http://islam.about.com/od/marriage/a/marriedlife.htm Married Life in Islam Relationship Between Husband and Wife in Islam "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Qur'an 30:21) In the Qur'an, the marriage relationship is described as one with "tranquility," "love" and "mercy." Elsewhere in the Qur'an, husband and wife are described as "garments" for each other (2:187). Garments offer protection, comfort, modesty, and warmth. Above all, the Qur'an describes that the best garment is the "garment of God-consciousness" (7:26). Muslims view marriage as the foundation of society and family life. In a practical aspect, Islamic marriage is thus structured through legally-enforceable rights and duties of both parties. In an atmosphere of love and respect, these rights and duties provide a framework for the balance of family life and the fulfillment of both partners. General Rights �To be treated with honor, kindness, and patience. �To enjoy intimate relations with each other. �To have children, by God's will. �To keep one's legal and personal identity after marriage, retaining one's own family name, inheritance rights, property, mahr, etc. General Duties �To be faithful to the marriage bond. �To strive to be attractive to one's spouse. �To assist and support one another, and to resolve disputes amicably. �The husband has the duty to provide all physical maintenance of the family (housing, clothing, food, medical care, etc.).
	Salam/Peace, Semar "We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH) "1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"

1DM2 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Male Joined: 14 January 2011 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4	Post Options Post Reply Quote 1DM2 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 21 January 2011 at 1:06pm
	Thank you so much for this information. I love how the Qur'an describes marriage as one with tranquility love and mercy, perhaps if more people took this approach there would be less divorce, and stronger families.In my class next time I am going to quote the part about husband and wife being a garment for each other, this is a very powerful description of how we should care for each other. I will continue to study the Qur'an and gain more insight, thank you again for the reply. Edited by 1DM2 - 21 January 2011 at 1:12pm

honeto Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Male Islam Joined: 20 March 2008 Location: Texas Status: Offline Points: 2487	Post Options Post Reply Quote honeto Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 January 2011 at 10:30am
	Hi, I would like to say that please be aware of differences of cultures within Muslims from various parts of the world and their own understanding, integrating and practice of non-Islamic customs. For example Muslims of sub-continent have mixed in their practices somethings that do not have Islamic origins, yet they are percieved as Islamic. For example, the practice of dowry by bride's family, which sometimes consists of almost everything the couple will need to start their new life, furniture, cloths, daily essentials and so on. Somtimes all of this is demanded by the groom's family. This is certainly not an Islamic practice, and nowhere found to be in Islamic teachings. Similarly, there are some other customs, 'valver' is one of them. This one fading away, but it might still be in practice in more traditional or rural 'Pashtoon' areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan. In this custom the groom has to work hard and save money to present a handsome amount to bride's family in order to get her as a bride. I don't know if this custom got into the Pashtoons, who are once thought to be from one of Jewish tribes of old times. But this practice is certainly not Islamic, but these people that practice it, are actually in thier own ways very religous. So, I just wanted you to be aware of these and other similar practices practiced by Muslims, yet they are not Islamic. Peace, Hasan Edited by honeto - 26 January 2011 at 11:07am
	The friends of God will certainly have nothing to fear, nor will they be grieved. Al Quran 10:62

1DM2 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Male Joined: 14 January 2011 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4	Post Options Post Reply Quote 1DM2 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 January 2011 at 4:35pm
	Thank you, I had not considered the variations that would exist.