Marriage Cert after Nikah

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   Hi everyone,

I got married to my husband last year. I did ask him if we could get a marriage cert at the time and because he didn't have all the father's names of our witnesses available on that day, he promised to organise it later. This is over 9 months ago!    I did ask about it a few times but in the end he got really defensive and said that it didn't matter it's only paper and we are married before Allah. 

While I agree with that, I do feel,that we should have something in writing, or am I just the typical European organised worrier???    

HOwever, we didn't yet have our Walima (no money) and... not all his/my family really know about the marriage...they live far away (very long story and not the place to discuss right now)

And therein lies my paranoia....if he or I drop dead tomorrow or something else happens there is no proof of our nikah. 

I would contact the Imam,but I don't have the witnesses details     

I don't want to have an argument about it (again). Could anyone please give me a good compelling reason that would make him get going? (preferably a hadith... he'd accept that before my pleas...)

And... I heard that a nikah is invalid without walimah!? Really? Is there a certain period after nikah you have to have walimah?

Thanks for your advise

Salaams

Mango   

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Mangomotte Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Female Joined: 25 August 2011 Status: Offline Points: 28	Post Options Post Reply Quote Mangomotte Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Marriage Cert after Nikah Posted: 27 September 2011 at 11:50am
	Hi everyone, I got married to my husband last year. I did ask him if we could get a marriage cert at the time and because he didn't have all the father's names of our witnesses available on that day, he promised to organise it later. This is over 9 months ago! I did ask about it a few times but in the end he got really defensive and said that it didn't matter it's only paper and we are married before Allah. While I agree with that, I do feel,that we should have something in writing, or am I just the typical European organised worrier??? HOwever, we didn't yet have our Walima (no money) and... not all his/my family really know about the marriage...they live far away (very long story and not the place to discuss right now) And therein lies my paranoia....if he or I drop dead tomorrow or something else happens there is no proof of our nikah. I would contact the Imam,but I don't have the witnesses details I don't want to have an argument about it (again). Could anyone please give me a good compelling reason that would make him get going? (preferably a hadith... he'd accept that before my pleas...) And... I heard that a nikah is invalid without walimah!? Really? Is there a certain period after nikah you have to have walimah? Thanks for your advise Salaams Mango

Hayfa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368	Post Options Post Reply Quote Hayfa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 29 September 2011 at 2:31pm
	Are you a revert? The reason I ask is that say for instance you go on Hajj, you may have to "prove" he is your Muslim husband. If you are from a Muslim family, less of an issue. But for we reverts, we need may need to prove not only our Shahada but our marriage.. i think he's only get the legal # of witnesses, which I am not sure of. I agree with you, this pertains to inheritance as well as burial.. etc. I am sure someone with more knowledge can answer more. Hayfa
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

Mangomotte Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Female Joined: 25 August 2011 Status: Offline Points: 28	Post Options Post Reply Quote Mangomotte Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 30 September 2011 at 5:17am
	Thanks, Hayfa, Yes, I am new-ish Muslim and just after I posted the topic i was thinking, that I'd probably need the marriage cert for applying for Hajj (which I'm intending to do next year, insha'Allah). Well, at least that is a very good reason to get DH going as he wants me to do Hajj... (why is it not enough for him that he promised the cert to me and I keep asking him, eh ?) Would you know anything about the Walima "necessity" in a certain time? That I find more worrying. Can you imagine!???........ oh, better not! Anyway, thanks for your thoughts. Mango

Hayfa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368	Post Options Post Reply Quote Hayfa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 October 2011 at 6:28pm
	Yes, I'd get the certificate for official purposes. Less so for the government per say, but for Islamic purposes. For us "new" to Islam it is critical to have. I asked my husband. He said the Walima is Sunnah but it is not compulsory so I think you are fine. We did ours "officially" 10 months later..
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

abuayisha Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105	Post Options Post Reply Quote abuayisha Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 October 2011 at 8:14pm
	Check with the Masjid administration to make sure certificates even exist, and if so, request them to process yours. Perhaps your husband doesn't want to bug them, and if it's not important to you and your husband, the administration won't bother to type it out. Tell your husband the certificate is not only important to you, but your family as well, and that you are reminding him to protect him from one of the aspects of hypocrisy; *"The signs of the hypocrite are three: when he speaks he lies, when he promises he breaks his promise and when he is entrusted he betrays the trust." (Bukhari and Muslim)*

Mangomotte Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Female Joined: 25 August 2011 Status: Offline Points: 28	Post Options Post Reply Quote Mangomotte Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 03 October 2011 at 1:35pm
	Ah,Abuayisha... there's a nice Hadith Will see how he reacts to that one And Hayfa, thanks for checking with your DH, phew.. at least we're ok on the Walima...

abuayisha Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105	Post Options Post Reply Quote abuayisha Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 03 October 2011 at 1:59pm
	Easy does it Mangomotte....easy does it please.