Need Advise - Marriage

aminahV17 wrote: Salaam Alaikum, I need some advice.  I'm married now for 3 years and my husband wants to take on another wife.  I'm a muslim now since 2008 and I have accepted Islam with all my heart and soul.    My husband said that I knew before we got married that he wanted to take another wife, and he also was made aware of my feelings about that as well.  I know this is what Allah has allowed the man, but I'm feeling some kind of way about it.   I told my husband, that I have no right to opposed what Allah had granted the man, however, it's not in my heart and I will step aside and let him marry the other woman, I'll just ask for a divorce.  Please advise as I love my husband, I just can't stand the thought of sharing him with another woman.  Not to mentioned that I'm the one who is employed in this marriage, not my husband.    I thought the man wasn't allowed to marry unless he can provide all parties the same/equal living and at present, I'm the one supporting us.  I'm confused, is my husband being selfish or am I?  Please, I need some adivce.

Salaam Alaikum, thank you so much for the advise.  On if I agreed to allow my husband to have a second wife, I told him that Allah has not put it in my heart, therefore, I'm not in agreement with it.

Hello Aminah,

I understqand that you are facing a tought period in your life sister, and there are some things that must be taken into full consideration. If you decide to go by the law of Allah, your husband is inly permitted to marry a second wife if he is capable of maintaining/increasing the level of comfort for all of his spouses. If your man is currently unemployed, he is in no position to fix a second marriage before he obtains a job!

If being committed-to-battle-out any discussion is not your type of communication, there are additional, softer ways to attempt having this sorted out - love causes wonders, it is a power of which we often forget due to the daily tasks. Why not to refresh his memory, suprise him? Here is what I would suggest - why not to gather some photographs from the happy times of your relationship print postcards out of that and send them, have them delivered to him, gradually reminding him that you are supportive of him, care for him and your relationship is vital for your happyness. At times, soft words can do much more than the harsh tone. Inshallah my sister it will all work out well.

Salaam Alaykum, thank you so very much for your kind words.  We've seem to have worked things out for now.  My husband realized my discomfort with his decision to take another wife, and has decided not to do so at this time.