Marriage problems

Asalaam alaikum,
Dear brothers i would like your advice as i dont knw what to do.
I am a 32 year old sister from the uk, 7 years ago i went to pakistan and married a man who my parents fixed me up with. I was of ' marriage age' and he was a hafiz which led me to believe he will b a good muslim and guide me too which is a good basis for an islamic marriage.

7 years later we now have 3 gorgeous children we have always helped each other and support each other in what we do. When i was pregnant with my 3rd child i discovered something so traumatic about my husband that i cant bring myself to say it.

I discovered he had been paying prostitutes for sex for a number of years, he has been going to private clubs for sex. I was devastated it broke my heart and destroyed my world. The man i considered my world, the father of my children had betrayed me like this. I was due to give birth and i had made this awful discovry.

I couldnt keep it to myself and confronted my husband about this, hr couldnt give me anexplanation as to why he went but begged me fr forgiveness and promised he would never go again.

He has since started praying namaaz more regularly, i am hurting so much but i have accepted that i wish to make a go of my marriage as k love my husband. Its not the same as i feel the trust will take time.

Its been 6 weeks since i made the discovery, howevr me andmhhusbsnd have not been intimate, he does not seem to want to, i find it difficult to ask him as its awkward but why does he not want to be intimate with me?

How can i try to save my marriage, im thf one who has bern betrayed and hurt yet i feel its me trying desperately to save my marriage. I knw my husband wants to stay with me but ii dont know what to do.

Please brothers u know how men work, what can i do. How do i get my husband back and save my marriage?

Mariam786 wrote: I discovered he had been paying prostitutes for sex for a number of years, he has been going to private clubs for sex.

Its been 6 weeks since i made the discovery, howevr me and my husbsnd have not been intimate, he does not seem to want to, i find it difficult to ask him as its awkward but why does he not want to be intimate with me?

Alaikum salaam sister, I am sorry to hear your problem. To be honest with you I see only gloom here, but you only can hope.

The way I see it he can't find what he wants in you, and it seems he is not in the state of need either, at least at this moment.

It is best to learn to be independent, just in case.

Salaam and all the best.

Thank u Naba that means a lot, i dont understand either, and when i ask him why he cant give me an explanation either. It hurts so much that i dont know what to do. All i can do is pray Allah gives me the strength to do the right thing by my children. I dont know what that is myself. How can i even begin to trust him after this. I know that i cant just walk away from my marriage but im not sure how im going to live with this.
Please pray for me i am in desperate need of duah to help me get thru this difficult time.

Dear Sister Mariam,

Im sorry to hear your story. Pray Allah give you peace and comfort in your husband's companionship.

It seems he is remorseful and hesitant with you at the moment. Looks like he too wants to save his marriage, thus seeks your forgiveness.
If you can make him realize of his sins before Allah, and help him return to right guidance, there is great reward in store for you.
I know this will hurt for quite sometime, but if you try for the sake of Allah, He will surely aid you and look after you.

Know that no sin is great in the eyes of Allah which causes remorse in the heart of the sinner - so pray that he has remorse and that Allah forgives him.