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please help me!

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syrianblue3y3s View Drop Down
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Joined: 29 August 2005
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    Posted: 29 August 2005 at 1:10pm

Salam,

I am a arab muslim girl i am 18 years old just starting college about 1 month ago i went to a arab chat to meet one of my friends and this guy instant messaged me. I normally dont talk to them but, for some reason i felt i needed to talk to this person. I started talking to him and he seemed like he hated me so i told him i dont want to talk to him. Then he told me he was sorry and for us to start over. I agreed and i found out that he actually was from the same town i am from back home and he know my family our grandfathers grew up together and are really close. Even though i never meet their family. He seems really nice and i get along with him very well. Every time he gets online he sends me a text message telling me he is online and i get on and talk to him. He goes to my grandfathers brothers house and talks to him. We say were just friends and he even says were friends but recently he said he starting to feel more for me than just friends. But he aslo said we dont know each other that well so its better to be friends until we get to know each other better. We are identical we think alike our personalities click and everthing is good. Im so confused can someone help me. I dont know if what i am doin is 7aram or not. My mom knows and she said to talk to him. The later on she tells me 7aram and gets mad. What do i do? Someone please help me and give me some advice.

                                                 Salam ,

                                                                       Concerned Sister



Edited by syrianblue3y3s
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MOCKBA View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MOCKBA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 August 2005 at 6:00pm

Bismillah

Wa'alaikumu salaam dear sister.

Firstly, let me make it clear that this forum is not the right place to seek answers on the matters of what is haram and what is halal as it does not have qualified enough people to do so (unless the matter is absolutely clear in Islam).

Those living in western countries, having been raised on a foundation of un-Islamic pracitices may not be very familiar with social environment of the Arab communities and consider the situation that you have described as completely innocent. Whereas you will hear an opposite view from those that are closer to your way of life.

As Muslims, we should also be aware of the importance of obedience to our parents with special emphasis given to our mothers. If your mother dislikes something then you should avoid doing it unless what she dislikes is Allah's command. Through such obedience to your parents, Allah will reward you, He will protect you from the evil that may be just around the corner and guide you to the way which will be best for you.

And Allah knows best.

 

MOCKBA
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Saido View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Saido Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 August 2005 at 9:44am

Asalamu Alaykum

I was listening to Yahya Ibrahim's lecture "What Have you Done for Islam" and in that lecture he was asked a similar question about the internet. His reply was "As for the internet, it's something haram to build relationships upon because people lie." I hope that can help Insha Allah.

                                                     Salaams

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firewall View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote firewall Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 August 2005 at 5:25pm


Edited by firewall
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Brother123 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Brother123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 September 2005 at 2:21pm

Asslamaulikum,

firewall. he is not her mahrem so it is impossible to treat him like just  a friend. Thats why no chating with guys in islam.

Any sis syrian he should go to ur dad an propose. If he doesnt wnat to they he shoulnt talk to u. If e wants to know soem more things about u then he can talk to u infront of your father and then make up his mind. And your dad needs to know if he is good enough for you

look at marriage section on

 

http://www.shariahway.com/marriage

take care walikum salam

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mouhssine4 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mouhssine4 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 September 2005 at 3:56pm

why do you guys torture yourself

you wanna be friends than meet in public and be friend (i mean friends no touching, no hikypinky, and of course no dialogue rated R  ok)

but cyberchating and for long hours that is just time wasted in nothing, what kind of rommaince will you have sitting in front of you pc knocking that keyboard and trying to get in front off that small and stupid camera

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herjihad View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote herjihad Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2005 at 11:16am

Bismillah,

Syrian, do you talk to your mom about things?  She loves you and wants the best for you, doesn't she?  Ask her advice and tell her how you feel.  A relationship that is Islaamic will involve your family too.

Allah, SWT, be with you.

Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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