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Wa Alaikkum Asalaam

Your first mistake was to agree to the marriage when you knew in your heart that you are not yet ready for marriage and that you didn't like him as a potential husband.

Your second mistake was to trying to please your parents (although there's nothing wrong with that) but you should have been honest with them from the start.

If I may say this about people being brought up in different cultures, no matter how you try to justify it sometimes one does not have anything in common with a person from a different part of the world. Even little things like the language barrier can be a problem, also the outlook on life may be world's apart of the two parties.

I know that from reading about other marriages especially from the Indian Sub-Continent that some marriages do work out in the end. For example, many arranged marriages tend to start off badly but in the long run they are successful. However, this is not to say that everyone or every marriage can be like this.

I personally feel that a husband and wife should connect on a physical and mental level otherwise there will be problems like the ones you are facing. So where do you go from here?

I'm an advocate of divorce because it a mercy from Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala to the believers. However, I also feel that one should not shout 'divorce' at the first hurdle. Sometimes giving time in certain situations do help. But I fear that in your case it will not help.

There is also the problem of family shame and honour that is associates with problems like this. some cultures shun divorce as it is shameful in their eyes.

In my mind the only solution seems to be divorce but Allahu Alum.

Walecum As Salaam first of all u did wrong to do marriage for sake of parents n even u make ur parents wrong bcoz Allah in Quran in ch 4 v 19 says that it is unlawful for u to inherit women under compulsion.Allah in ch 2 v 187 says husband n wife are like garments to one another.islam permits to live with person u love but thru halal way I.e under nikah bcoz Allah in ch 23 v 6 says sex between husband n wife only is acceptable to Allah.at the moment only solution to ur problem is divorce which shud b done according to guidelines of Allah.

Get real young lady.

It seems you do not have any serious problem in your life ... thus you are making this into a problem.

As advised get religious. Know your duties as a wife and see well to them.

Try to do things for him, even it is mundane work like preparing his food and clothes etc.
Love is not just a spark or a feeling alone, its work. Its work trust me. Ask those who have children and they have to take care of them day in day out ... they love their children, and that is because they have to work for them.
You start taking care of a pet and you start loving it.

It is said in the Quran that you may not like a thing but it may be good for you if its a choosing from Allah. Your parents performed istekharah before fixing your marriage. You should not be taking this lightly.

Your husband is a good man, so respect him and love will ensue from there.

Also get busy yoruself. If you are in the middle of your studies complete them. Get involved with the muslim community, newly wed sisters etc.

Divorce is not a good idea in your case and Allah knows best.

Wish you love and luck :p

Edited by Nausheen - 02 June 2014 at 1:34am

Dont know Aisha if you interested any More to reply this post but i will definitely contribute. My wife had similar Issues cause.we had a love marraige she was very fond of me.i we t to saudi for her and got married.we never lived together as dukhla was about to happen.i had Fight with my boss and i had to go back.then i went back after a year and was fully prepared to get married.when i went back she developed strange disease in which whenever i went close to her, she use to get repelling smell from me.this went on and we use to fight over phone Finally she decided to quit.she was fond of my earlier but later she become not interested.i asked a psycologist and she explained that if you loose interest in your spouse u get that kind of smell from your spouse.so my suggestion.see a psycologist and prepare self find good thing in him if u really want.atleast try for the sake of Allah.