Scared of Marriage

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   Assalam Alaikum.  I am in my early 30s and I've had this issue for a while.  I am scared of getting married for a number of reasons, including health and life issues.  However, I do get lonely at times and it would be nice to have someone special in my life.  

I get scared because marriage is a big deal and usually requires a lot of time and energy and effort.  Marriage is a big commitment and I barely have the energy to take care of my own tasks and responsibilities.    

To make matters more complicated, I feel attracted to only a few types of people.  I also am not sure about physical relationships.  I also feel uncomfortable being around people.  I've had a lot of bad experiences dealing with people.  I do not socialize much.  Because of my health problems and personality, I am not interested in having children.  Like I said, I barely have energy to take care of myself.  Plus, I do not want to pass on genetic problems to helpless little children.  

Now I know more about what I want and what I don't want but I am still sort of confused at times about this matter.  I would ignore this matter but it doesn't seem to ignore me or leave me alone.  I am trying to be patient and wait for Allah to help me with this issue.  

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allahisgreater Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 18 October 2014 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote allahisgreater Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Scared of Marriage Posted: 22 January 2015 at 12:13am
	Assalam Alaikum. I am in my early 30s and I've had this issue for a while. I am scared of getting married for a number of reasons, including health and life issues. However, I do get lonely at times and it would be nice to have someone special in my life. I get scared because marriage is a big deal and usually requires a lot of time and energy and effort. Marriage is a big commitment and I barely have the energy to take care of my own tasks and responsibilities. To make matters more complicated, I feel attracted to only a few types of people. I also am not sure about physical relationships. I also feel uncomfortable being around people. I've had a lot of bad experiences dealing with people. I do not socialize much. Because of my health problems and personality, I am not interested in having children. Like I said, I barely have energy to take care of myself. Plus, I do not want to pass on genetic problems to helpless little children. Now I know more about what I want and what I don't want but I am still sort of confused at times about this matter. I would ignore this matter but it doesn't seem to ignore me or leave me alone. I am trying to be patient and wait for Allah to help me with this issue.

semar Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Male Islam Joined: 11 March 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1830	Post Options Post Reply Quote semar Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 22 January 2015 at 9:42pm
	Wa alaikum salam, Yes marriage is a huge commitment. If we just follow our own will, marriage is not something "fun" to do. For that reason, that's why in US since 2008 more than 50% adult, are single, and the tendency is growing up. However Allah give us a huge incentive to be marriage, he said "marriage is half of the religion", tha we can translate it everything else such as hajj, salat/prayer, fasting, reading quran, charity, zakat etc combine is if you do perfectly is just the same amount of the reward of marriage. So I've been marriage for 19 years Alhamdulillah, up and down, sometimes happy, sometime challenging but I believe a huge bless from Allah, so we keep keep it and try to enjoy it, as part of obeying Allah swt. So my suggestion, just do it, Insha Allah you will able to enjoy it. Edited by semar - 22 January 2015 at 9:43pm
	Salam/Peace, Semar "We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH) "1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"