My mother.

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   Assalamu alaykum,I am a 16 year old teenager who requires help. Actually, I would really like to be knowledgeable of my rights toward my mother as her son. But before answering, please read my case below.

You see, my mother really has this habit of insulting me, shouting at me, hitting me, etc. ever since my childhood and I don't think she's going to stop anytime soon. I always try to stay calm and tell her nice words while she's insulting me, but these days, I just feel like I'm about to blow up. Even when she hits me, I just let her go, because I know that if I even try to just push her back once, it would mean going to hell for me. That's also why I think that the son is put in a position of extreme inferiority towards his parents in Islam, and I don't consider this as justice at all.

The other day, for example, just because I left my pencil on the table, she started shouting du'as against me. Today, she asked me why I left my charger on the floor, but, as soon as I calmly tried to tell her, she literally interrupted me with "Go f**k yourself". Then, when she saw that (as usual) I wasn't replying back, she just let herself go and I won't quote the things she told me because this is an islamic forum and I want to keep it somewhat clean. Then I lost my temper (it rarely happens) and simply told her it was enough, but she started making the victim and kept insulting me.

I have to deal with this kind of problem on a daily basis.

I know basically all the hadiths about how you have to respect your parents and especially your mother, but I feel like that's too much for me right know. Even when she's making du'a against me right in front of me, when she's gone, I start making du'a for her and ask Allah to forgive her, even though I genuinely hate her but try not to make it obvious.

I also know that the du'a of a mother towards her child is always granted by Allah. That means that, in my case, I'm going to hell just because I had a bad mother and that's what's bothering me the most.

All my life, I've tried to satisfy her, help her, and everything, but she just won't stop. I have the best grades, go to the Masjid, read Quran, and treat my mother with respect, but she somehow always finds a reason to make du'a against me.

I don't talk about it to anyone, because I don't wanna spread a bad image of Islam and I don't want to destroy my mother's reputation, even though I could easily do it if I wanted to.

Please help, am I going to hell because of her du'a? Does my mother have the right to do this to me? What am I going to do? I can't let her go anymore.

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A Young Muslim Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Male Joined: 28 April 2018 Status: Offline Points: 4	Post Options Post Reply Quote A Young Muslim Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: My mother. Posted: 28 April 2018 at 3:12pm
	Assalamu alaykum, I am a 16 year old teenager who requires help. Actually, I would really like to be knowledgeable of my rights toward my mother as her son. But before answering, please read my case below. You see, my mother really has this habit of insulting me, shouting at me, hitting me, etc. ever since my childhood and I don't think she's going to stop anytime soon. I always try to stay calm and tell her nice words while she's insulting me, but these days, I just feel like I'm about to blow up. Even when she hits me, I just let her go, because I know that if I even try to just push her back once, it would mean going to hell for me. That's also why I think that the son is put in a position of extreme inferiority towards his parents in Islam, and I don't consider this as justice at all. The other day, for example, just because I left my pencil on the table, she started shouting du'as against me. Today, she asked me why I left my charger on the floor, but, as soon as I calmly tried to tell her, she literally interrupted me with "Go fk yourself". Then, when she saw that (as usual) I wasn't replying back, she just let herself go and I won't quote the things she told me because this is an islamic forum and I want to keep it somewhat clean. Then I lost my temper (it rarely happens) and simply told her it was enough, but she started making the victim and kept insulting me. I have to deal with this kind of problem on a daily basis. I know basically all the hadiths about how you have to respect your parents and especially your mother, but I feel like that's too much for me right know. Even when she's making du'a against me right in front of me, when she's gone, I start making du'a for her and ask Allah to forgive her, even though I genuinely hate her but try not to make it obvious. I also know that the du'a of a mother towards her child is always granted by Allah. That means that, in my case, I'm going to hell just because I had a bad mother and that's what's bothering me the most. All my life, I've tried to satisfy her, help her, and everything, but she just won't stop. I have the best grades, go to the Masjid, read Quran, and treat my mother with respect, but she somehow always finds a reason to make du'a against me. I don't talk about it to anyone, because I don't wanna spread a bad image of Islam and I don't want to destroy my mother's reputation, even though I could easily do it if I wanted to. Please help, am I going to hell because of her du'a? Does my mother have the right to do this to me?** What am I going to do? I can't let her go anymore.

Dr. Aslam Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Admin Group Male Islam Joined: 24 February 2018 Location: California, USA Status: Offline Points: 279	Post Options Post Reply Quote Dr. Aslam Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 03 May 2018 at 6:49am
	Please involve your father or your sister or your elder brother or your uncle or anyone who is closer to your mother and through them communicate to her that this is not way to treat one's son.
	Best Regards, Aslam Abdullah

A Young Muslim Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Male Joined: 28 April 2018 Status: Offline Points: 4	Post Options Post Reply Quote A Young Muslim Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 08 May 2018 at 2:13pm
	Assalamu alaykum, First of all, barak allahu fik for answering my question. The problem is that my father doesn't like it either, but he doesn't want to create a family problem because she won't ever listen to anything. My father already tried to tell her to stop once calmly but she started to play the role of the victim and kept shouting even worse than before. Also, her sisters are almost just like her and I can't ask any help from my brother and sisters since I'm the oldest child in the family. So I guess I'll just have to keep living with it...

Dr. Aslam Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Admin Group Male Islam Joined: 24 February 2018 Location: California, USA Status: Offline Points: 279	Post Options Post Reply Quote Dr. Aslam Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 08 May 2018 at 2:15pm
	Wa alaikum, No, donot accept abuse even if it comes from parents. You have a right o self respect. Say politely to her in front of your father that you do not like this as it violates divine guidance. Let us see what happens then.
	Best Regards, Aslam Abdullah

SOABM Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Male Joined: 30 September 2018 Location: US Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote SOABM Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 30 September 2018 at 3:57pm
	Salam brother... I just read your post and curious to know if there is any development in your relationship with your mother. How are things ? Better or worse ?

Ifrah02 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Islam Joined: 17 January 2020 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 6	Post Options Post Reply Quote Ifrah02 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 22 January 2020 at 11:06pm
	My mother is so disrespectful ,evilin language,use foul words, torchure me on small topics, iam totally depressed due to her, i sometimes feel to die ,..although iam a practising muslimah,..iam totally sick,, as i have no where to escape ,iam not married yet, and my mom is a working women,..my dad is scared of her and he is helpless,..whenever any fight happens,my mom tells me to get out of home,..she says she is doing favour on me by feeding me,..she use so foul words like f*** in hindi language,..in every single talk she include dirty foul words,..and she expects me to respect her,.she says as she is a mother she can scold and i shd respect her....all the websites tell me to respect parents but its not in our hand,..its over the flow,..unbearable ,totally disguisting,..😡😡😡