Question on Barren Women |
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Angela
Senior Member Joined: 11 July 2005 Status: Offline Points: 2555 |
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Posted: 16 January 2006 at 3:24pm |
I've recently read several fatwas saying barren women are undesireable to marry. When I asked how is a woman to know she is barren before she marries and tries to have children, I was told its permissable for a man to leave his wife for another at that time. So, the question becomes....what happens to the young women who cannot have children? Does she have no value if she cannot? This doesn't seem right. What is the mindset from a Muslimah on barren sisters? (This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart since my own struggles with it) |
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herjihad
Senior Member Joined: 26 January 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2473 |
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Bismillah, Dear Angela, I had always heard that if a wife is barren, then that is one of the valid reasons for polygamy. Why would he be "allowed" to leave her unless she wished it? I have known barren Muslim Arab women whose husbands stayed with them all of their lives and never married another woman. If my son wanted to marry a barren woman, that would be fine with me. I want him to have a suitable partner that includes many necessary things for his personality, but that is not a requirement at all. However, some mothers-in-law would object and encourage their sons either not to marry her, marry another to have grandchildren, or to divorce her. And then there's the story of a man who thought his wife was barren and he married a second wife after 13 years of marriage. That same year and almost every year for ten years both women had children. |
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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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Angela
Senior Member Joined: 11 July 2005 Status: Offline Points: 2555 |
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Well, there are many stories in the bible that have women being tested with barreness. Jacob's wife Rachael, Hannah who is the mother of Samuel the boy prophet, Elizabeth the mother of John the Baptist, and don't forget Sarah. I was kinda shocked when I read this. But, reading it again, I'm confused, what does he mean by being one of the lost???? I thought lost was bad. http://www.askimam.org/fatwa/fatwa.php?askid=f736e7a3dad7608 ce3baf04cafabc251
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herjihad
Senior Member Joined: 26 January 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2473 |
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Bismillah, I read the link you provided. I had never heard of this hadith at all. However, I do know that Aisha, raa, was barren, and she was the prophet's wife and one of the most respected women in Islaam. Maybe the guys were only looking for beauty, as this hadith you pasted says, and they were being encouraged to think of family as well. Maybe the prophet Muhammad, pbuh, did not say this. Allahu 'Alam. |
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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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Jenni
Senior Member Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 705 |
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I think it sounds harsh to you Angela. I know couples that are Muslim that have adopted because the wife cannot concieve. They truely love each other and are happy, therefor they would not divorce just because the wife was infertile. I also know of a woman, a friend of a friend that was married to a man that was sterile. Her family pressured her to divorce him and she did. Now she is very regretful because she really loved him. And what about the poor guy? As many as 30% of causes of couples having infertility are caused by the man. In Islam a woman can divorce her husband if he is impotent or infertile. But I think it totally depends on the kind of marriage. Some people marry because of love. Others for having a family. If its for love, I think the marraige may be more important than just having babies. If it is for family and children then the marraige wont work and the woman could marry a divorced man with children a widower or another sterile man. That may be better. Peace |
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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Angela
Senior Member Joined: 11 July 2005 Status: Offline Points: 2555 |
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Thanks guys. I appreciated the answers.
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firewall
Senior Member Joined: 06 November 2004 Location: Malaysia Status: Offline Points: 215 |
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wallahu a'lam, isn't it true.. Sarah didn't conceive for a long time,
since she wedded Prophet Abraham? and Prophet Zachariah (Zakaria):
He (Zakariya) said: "O my Lord! How shall I have a son, when my wife is
barren and I have grown quite decrepit from old age?" Quran, 19:8
even prophets married women, who finds hard to cenceive. still it's all God's Wills, if one day they will have children. nobody really knows. now, we even have fertility technology. once barren couples can seek medical attention to increase their chances. insha Allah, couples can have children. all is from Allah. Rasulullah (PBUH) also states a woman prefered is because of her religion. not her ancestry (which might affect her fertility genes). wallahu a'lam. Edited by firewall |
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