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iman View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote iman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 April 2005 at 6:52am

salams islamicgirl. do not go back to his house unless they ask u to. bcose if they are not doing anthgn right now to save their sons marriege they wont do anthgn later when u go back. ''they will think she came so she is expting him like this so no need to do anythgn''

this is wat i think maybe im wronge. u know the people better. but i say alhamdulilah u dont have kids it makes it easy for u believe me. i think if ur marriege its not good from now wat would u expect later??

khair inshallah keep in touch.iman

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IslamicGirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote IslamicGirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 April 2005 at 5:35am
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ummziba View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ummziba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 April 2005 at 5:14am

Islamic girl,

No, dear, I was not implying anything at all!  You posted you wanted to know what Iman's story was and I simply showed you where to find it, that's all!

Peace, ummziba.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
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semar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote semar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 April 2005 at 2:00am
 

Originally posted by IslamicGirl IslamicGirl wrote:

source:  http://www.understanding-islam.com/rs/s-039.htm

according to the website as above, Istekhara is not neccessary and not compulsury in Islam (according to the Qur'an), that's what I read on the article.

Also, if you go to http://www.islamicity.com/quransearch/ & type in Istekhara, there's no record that matches the criterea.  Maybe it's a recommended thing, not obligated in Islam.

Anyone oppose?

For searching arabic term, we need to try different spelling because sometimes people spell it differently. On islamicity hadith search the spelling is istikhara (not istekhara) the result is bellow. In case you have not red nausheen post reagrading istikhara, here the link:

http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=116& PN=2

Hadith Search For: istikhara -

arrowg.gif 163 bytes009.093.487 - ONENESS, UNIQUENESS OF ALLAH (TAWHEED) - - - -

Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah

As-Salami: Allah's Apostle used to teach his companions to perform theprayer of istikhara for each and every matter just as he used to teachthem the Suras from the Quran He used to say, "If anyone of you intends to do some thing, he should offer a two rakat prayer other than the compulsory prayers, and after finishing it, he should say: O Allah! I consult You, for You have all knowledge, and appeal to You tosupport me with Your Power and ask for Your Bounty, for You are able to do things while I am not, and You know while I do not; and You are the Knower of the Unseen. O Allah If You know It this matter (name your matter) is good for me both at present and in the future, (or in my religion), in my this life and in the Hereafter, then fulfill it for me and make it easy for me, and then bestow Your Blessings on me in that matter. O Allah! If You know that this matter is not good for me in my religion, in my this life and in my coming Hereafter (or at present or in the future), then divert me from it and choose for me what is good wherever it may be, and make me be pleased with it." (SeeHadith No. 391, Vol. 8)

arrowg.gif 163 bytes008.075.391 - Invocations - - - -

Narrated Jabir

The Prophet used to teach us the istikhara for each and every matter as he used to teach us the Suras from the Holy Qur'an. (He used to say), "If anyone of you intends to do something, he should offer a two-Rak'at prayer other than the obligatory prayer, and then say: 'Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi'ilmika, wa astaqdiruka biqudratika, wa as'aluka min fadlika-l-'azim, fa innaka taqdiru wala aqdiru, wa ta'lamu wala a'lamu, wa anta'allamu-l-ghuyub. Allahumma in kunta ta'lamu anna hadha-lamra khairun li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa 'aqibati amri (or said, fi 'ajili amri wa ajilihi) fa-qdurhu li, Wa in Kunta ta'lamu anna ha-dha-l-amra sharrun li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa 'aqibati amri (or said, fi ajili amri wa ajilihi) fasrifhu 'anni was-rifni 'anhu wa aqdur li alkhaira haithu kana, thumma Raddani bihi," Then he should mention his matter (need).

arrowg.gif 163 bytes002.021.263 - Prayer at Night (Tahajjud) - - - -

Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah

The Prophet (p.b.u.h) used to teach us the way of doing istikhara (istikhara means to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of actionconcerning any job or a deed), in all matters as he taught us the Suras of the Quran. He said, "If anyone of you thinks of doing any jobhe should offer a two Rakat prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer): -- 'Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi'ilmika, Wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, Wa as'alaka min fadlika al-'azlm Fa-innaka taqdiru Wala aqdiru, Wa ta'lamu Wala a'lamu, Wa anta 'allamu l-ghuyub.Allahumma, in kunta ta'lam anna hadha-l-amra Khairun li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri (or 'ajili amri wa'ajilihi) Faqdirhu wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li Fihi, Wa in kunta ta'lamu anna hadha-lamra shar-run li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri (or fi'ajili amri wa ajilihi) Fasrifhu anni was-rifni anhu. Waqdir li al-khaira haithu kana Thumma ardini bihi.' (O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, And Power from Your Might and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this job is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter--(or said: If it is better for my present and later needs)--Then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, And then bless me in it, and if Youknow that this job is harmful to me In my religion and subsistence andin the Hereafter--(or said: If it is worse for my present and later needs)--Then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, And make me satisfied with it).The Prophet added that then the person should name (mention) his need.

Salam/Peace,

Semar

"We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH)

"1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"
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IslamicGirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote IslamicGirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 April 2005 at 1:10am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote IslamicGirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 April 2005 at 12:48am
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butterfly View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote butterfly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 April 2005 at 12:26pm
Originally posted by IslamicGirl IslamicGirl wrote:

Butterfly:

Salams, hi, I think you have misunderstood.. I do not live with him at presant.. i've been back with my folks for nearly 3 months.  I have left due to the pressures he has caused me because of not treating me right (more like treating me like i'm not there & for no obvious reason on my behalf at all).

I have never threatened to leave our marriage to end, however.. he suggested because i'm so iscolated and he didn't know what to do.. that I should go back to my family's home (ie. interstate).  That's when he stopped talking to me, to make a long story short.. he said that if I don't want to live interstate with him, that he will give me talaq (ie. that's his decision) & he won't have any way around that.  That is not fare if you ask me, it's not him who has the problem that he's away from his family or his wife (me) is not being intimate and communicating.. it's me.  If he was more like a man, I wouldn't want to move back to my parents place.  

Iman, is your story a bit like mine sister, may I ask..? if i'm a bit nosey.. I do apologise & u don't have to answer me. 

Peace 

AsSalamu Alaikum,

Thank you, I did misunderstand, I didnt see that you'll had gotten a place of your own.  I don't know why he's treating you like this.  My husband decided to separate from me a few days ago out of the blue, I know there's something else going on.  I was in a lot of pain and sad because I didn't know what else to do because he wouldn't talk to me, still won't.  But I made a lot of dua's, and am trying to bring myself closer to Allah swt and focus on my duties to Him.  It has eased some of the pain, but I now think I can handle it if he does decide to divorce me.  He travels for business, so I don't see him and havent heard from him in almost a week.  One thing that I did realize is that the way we communicate is negative and we hardly communicate on an intimate level, probably the same problems you'll have  He doesn't treat me badly, but he does involve himself with other women, which makes me very upset and distrustful of him.  I don't know what would be the best thing for you to do.  I don't think he's being fair either by threatening divorce if you dont move back there while he's still mistreating you.  If he knows what the problem is and refuses to work on it, I think he's not fulfilling his duty to his wife and will be accountable for it.  We will Inshallah get through these rough times, and need to keep up our duas, and trust in Allah swt to get us through this and come out stronger in the end. 

 

 

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