To Muslim women...

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   Assalamu Alaikum:
The Prophet Mohamed(PBUH) said that you should never strike anyone with anything larger than the miswak. For those who don't know, a miswak is a small twig of wood that Arabs used to clean their teeth. It is about 4 to 5 inches long and very small in diameter. The Prophet also said that Muslims should treat their wives as the Prophet treated his wives, and the Prophet never raised a hand to them. 
In the Quran, if your wife is suspected of lewdness, you should first chastise her and ask her to correct her behavior. If this doesn't work, then you should turn from her: not sleep with her, until she corrects herself. If this second step doesn't work, then you may "beat" her, but this is only a symbolic "beating" meant to show your displeasure at her continued bad behavior. 
We know this is symbolic do to the Hadith from the Prophet stating not to hit anyone with anything larger than a miswak held in the hand. Even a person's hand or fist would be larger than the miswak.  
Any Muslim man who beats his wife is doing something very wrong. The Prophet stated to the Ummah that the "best of you are the ones who treat your wives well."  
As for men having the right of rape:
The Prophet said: �None of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.� The Companions exclaimed, �What is that messenger?� The Prophet replied, �Kisses and (romantic) words!� (Reported by Al-Daylami) 
O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good (Qu�ran An-nisa 19) 
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: "He who believes in Allah and the Hereafter, if he witnesses any matter he should talk in good terms about it or keep quiet. Act kindly towards woman, for woman is created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. So act kindly towards women.  (Translation of Sahih Muslim, The Book of Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 008, Number 3468)"  

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Mishmish Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 01 November 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1694	Post Options Post Reply Quote Mishmish Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 01 April 2006 at 10:59am
	Assalamu Alaikum: The Prophet Mohamed(PBUH) said that you should never strike anyone with anything larger than the miswak. For those who don't know, a miswak is a small twig of wood that Arabs used to clean their teeth. It is about 4 to 5 inches long and very small in diameter. The Prophet also said that Muslims should treat their wives as the Prophet treated his wives, and the Prophet never raised a hand to them. In the Quran, if your wife is suspected of lewdness, you should first chastise her and ask her to correct her behavior. If this doesn't work, then you should turn from her: not sleep with her, until she corrects herself. If this second step doesn't work, then you may "beat" her, but this is only a symbolic "beating" meant to show your displeasure at her continued bad behavior. We know this is symbolic do to the Hadith from the Prophet stating not to hit anyone with anything larger than a miswak held in the hand. Even a person's hand or fist would be larger than the miswak. Any Muslim man who beats his wife is doing something very wrong. The Prophet stated to the Ummah that the "best of you are the ones who treat your wives well." As for men having the right of rape: The Prophet said: �None of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.� The Companions exclaimed, �What is that messenger?� The Prophet replied, �Kisses and (romantic) words!� (Reported by Al-Daylami) O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good (Qu�ran An-nisa 19) Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: "He who believes in Allah and the Hereafter, if he witnesses any matter he should talk in good terms about it or keep quiet. Act kindly towards woman, for woman is created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. So act kindly towards women. (Translation of Sahih Muslim, The Book of Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 008, Number 3468)"
	It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)

peacemaker Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Male Joined: 29 December 2005 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 3057	Post Options Post Reply Quote peacemaker Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 01 April 2006 at 11:09am
	Assalamu Alaikum! Sister Mishmish, Masha Allah very good post. I just would like to add here part of last sermon of Prophet ( SAW ) regarding how women should be treated in Islam. "O People, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with any one of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste." Peace
	Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny? Qur'an 55:13

herjihad Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 26 January 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2473	Post Options Post Reply Quote herjihad Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 April 2006 at 6:29am
	*Bismillah,* *Great post, Sister Mishmish.* *I love the blessed Prophet's last speech, Brother Peacemaker.* If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. This, however, seems to address women who are supported financially by their husbands. What about the women who support themselves or even the whole family, or who just contribute financially by working part-time? *What do you think?*
	Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.

peacemaker Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Male Joined: 29 December 2005 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 3057	Post Options Post Reply Quote peacemaker Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 April 2006 at 8:35am
	Assalamu Alaikum! "This, however, seems to address women who are supported financially by their husbands. What about the women who support themselves or even the whole family, or who just contribute financially by working part-time? *What do you think?"* Good point, sister herjihad. Well, it is not the duty of women to work in order to feed themselves or even the whole family. But, if they do, following islamic principles, fulfilling their primary responsibilities as 'women in Islam', insha Allah they would be rewarded multi fold by Allah ( SWT ). Anything that involves going extra miles in the matters of faith and responsibilities assigned to Muslims by Allah (SWT ) will bring tremendous rewards insha Allah. Only on the day of judgement would we able to see, in reality, the enormous generosities of Allah ( SWT ). Hope this helps. Peace Edited by peacemaker
	Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny? Qur'an 55:13

Khadija1021 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Joined: 30 June 2005 Status: Offline Points: 530	Post Options Post Reply Quote Khadija1021 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 April 2006 at 12:41pm
	Assalamu Alaikum Brother Peacemaker, what is the husband simply refuses to support the wife and/or children? What if he earns enough money to support the family yet simply is not doing so? What if he makes enough money to support the family but he beleive it is the wife's responsible to also work and help pay the bills? Is this a true Islamic marriagae? What then becomes of her duties and obligations to him is the marriage? Allah Hafiz Sister Khadija
	Say: 'My prayer and my rites, my living and my dying, are for Allah alone, the Lord of all the worlds. (Qur'an, 6:162)

Mishmish Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 01 November 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1694	Post Options Post Reply Quote Mishmish Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 April 2006 at 2:55pm
	Assalamu Alaikum Sister Khadija: May I answer your question? Maintenance and protection is the one obligation in faith that Allah(SWT) has given men over women. It is not a choice but their duty. Quiwama (maintenance and protection) is your right as a woman, unless there is some reason such as sickness that prevents your husband from working. If the woman does work outside the home, any money that she makes, along with any inheritance or money that she brought to the marriage is hers and her husband has no right to it. She is not obligated Islamically to share this money, although she may choose to do so. This is an excerpt from The Status of Woman in Islam by Dr. Jamal Badawi: "Islam decreed a right of which woman was deprived both before Islam and after it (even as late as this century), the right of independent ownership. According to Islamic Law, woman's right to her money, real estate, or other properties is fully acknowledged. This right undergoes no change whether she is single or married. She retains her full rights to buy, sell, mortgage or lease any or all her properties. It is nowhere suggested in the Law that a woman is a minor simply because she is a female. It is also noteworthy that such right applies to her properties before marriage as well as to whatever she acquires thereafter. With regard to the woman's right to seek employment it should be stated first that Islam regards her role in society as a mother and a wife as the most sacred and essential one. Neither maids nor baby-sitters can possibly take the mother's place as the educator of an upright, complex free, and carefully-reared children. Such a noble and vital role, which largely shapes the future of nations, cannot be regarded as "idleness". However, there is no decree in Islam which forbids woman from seeking employment whenever there is a necessity for it, especially in positions which fit her nature and in which society needs her most. Examples of these professions are nursing, teaching (especially for children), and medicine. Moreover, there is no restriction on benefiting from woman's exceptional talent in any field. Even for the position of a judge, where there may be a tendency to doubt the woman's fitness for the post due to her more emotional nature, we find early Muslim scholars such as Abu-Hanifa and Al-Tabary holding there is nothing wrong with it. In addition, Islam restored to woman the right of inheritance, after she herself was an object of inheritance in some cultures. Her share is completely hers and no one can make any claim on it, including her father and her husband. "Unto men (of the family) belongs a share of that which Parents and near kindred leave, and unto women a share of that which parents and near kindred leave, whether it be a little or much - a determinate share." ((Qur'an 4:7). Her share in most cases is one-half the man's share, with no implication that she is worth half a man! It would seem grossly inconsistent after the overwhelming evidence of woman's equitable treatment in Islam, which was discussed in the preceding pages, to make such an inference. This variation in inheritance rights is only consistent with the variations in financial responsibilities of man and woman according to the Islamic Law. Man in Islam is fully responsible for the maintenance of his wife, his children, and in some cases of his needy relatives, especially the females. This responsibility is neither waived nor reduced because of his wife's wealth or because of her access to any personal income gained from work, rent, profit, or any other legal means. Woman, on the other hand, is far more secure financially and is far less burdened with any claims on her possessions. Her possessions before marriage do not transfer to her husband and she even keeps her maiden name. She has no obligation to spend on her family out of such properties or out of her income after marriage. She is entitled to the "Mahr" which she takes from her husband at the time of marriage. If she is divorced, she may get an alimony from her ex-husband. An examination of the inheritance law within the overall framework of the Islamic Law reveals not only justice but also an abundance of compassion for woman."
	It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)

peacemaker Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Male Joined: 29 December 2005 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 3057	Post Options Post Reply Quote peacemaker Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 April 2006 at 6:07pm
	Assalamu Alaikum! Sister Khadija , I see that sister Mishmish has already answered Masha Allah. I still would like to post my reply in the hope that the status of women in Islam becomes more clear to us as opposed to many misconceptions in our societies. "Brother Peacemaker, what if the husband simply refuses to support the wife and/or children? What if he earns enough money to support the family yet simply is not doing so? What if he makes enough money to support the family but he believes it is the wife's responsibility to also work and help pay the bills? Is this a true Islamic marriage? What then becomes of her duties and obligations to him in the marriage?" As per islamic law ( shariah ), if a husband refuses to support his wife and/or children, she should speak to him and remind him about his duties towards her in the light of Qur�an and Sunnah so that he pays her due expenses ( basic and essential needs ). If he doesn�t comply with her request, she should speak to relatives and friends who are close to both, if nothing works out, and he continues to refuse to fulfill his responsibilities, and all the reconciliatory measures fail, she should take the matter to the court ( islamic court if available otherwise the jurisdiction she lives in ) that would order him to support wife / children. If he continues to violate court�s instructions, the responsibility of supporting her and children falls on the state, and the court may even proceed the matter of Khula ( islamic divorce at the request of wife ). In a true islamic marriage, husband can�t force wife to work to pay bills. Both husband and wife should work together to fulfill their responsibilities amicably. Both have their status and responsibilities. Neither husband can take the position of wife, nor wife can take the position of husband. Allah has made them unique in everything. And that fact we should appreciate. Therefore, it would be foolish to ask if husband is superior to wife or wife is inferior to husband. My father struggled all his life to take care of all responsibilities-mother, father, teacher etc due to my mother�s sickness. He worked outside and then did everything at home and provided all his children best education. He did all this with kindness. Never did he show us that he was doing any favour. When I look back at his life, I get the message that insha Allah he would be tremendously rewarded by Allah ( SWT ) for doing what was not his 'duty'. Likewise, there would be stories where mothers singlehandedly took up all the responsibilities. But, all this should come out of one�s own realization, free from any compulsion or force. Islam respects and entitles women with rights that no system on the earth in the history ever did. Even today, in so called modern era, rights granted to women 1400 years back still remain unmatched, and will remain so until the day of judgement. Following are some links about the status of women in Islam. http://www.islamonline.net/livedialogue/english/Browse.asp?h GuestID=BFpNkF http://muslim-canada.org/statusbadawi.html Hope this helps. Peace
	Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny? Qur'an 55:13

herjihad Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 26 January 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2473	Post Options Post Reply Quote herjihad Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 03 April 2006 at 9:49am
	Bismillah, "due to her more emotional nature" In my experience, especially with a middle eastern husband, this is absolutely not a valid assertion. And considering many of the limitations and restrictions put on women by Mr. Jamal Badawi revolve around this erroneous idea of the natures of men and women, I find his and other's like his, arguments restricting women from positions such as Judges to be invalid also. In my observations, limited though it is, of cultures and men and women, the Mars and Venus generalities are largely invalid for the large groups of people it purports to define also. The realities of the hardships of women's and childrens lives are left aside in too many intellectual discussions. Where is the hunger? My friend and her children are often hungry and unfed and too hot or too cold according to the seasons, and they live in this "prosperous nation". The Ummah has not deserted them, but the Muslim brothers and sheikhs are absolutely not fullfiling their duty to her and her Muslim children. Oh, and where is daddy? Doing what he wants when he wants. The Muslim Brothers have not taken him to task for his failure to share his wealth with his wife and children, and he continues to hold a position of respect among them. This is one real, live case. Because of cases like this and many others that I know of, I assert that men never have a right over women unless they are ill or of feeble minds. Women overall care for the children, the home, and provide for their families when the husband does not. Brother Peacemaker, I am glad you had such a good role model of a dad. May Allah, SWT, increase your family and status so that you can guide your brothers-in-Islaam who don't have the understanding and dignity that you do.
	Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.