Istikharah

Assalamu alaikum. I actually posted this in another discussion but feel as though i should get advise from sisters.

I have performed Istikhara now 5 times and am confused as to the result. I understand that it is not necessary to see dreams or even have feelings but rather if it is good for you, Allah SWT will lead you towards it or otherwise take you far from it.

Here is the background. A Muslim guy and I have been discussing marriage for a while now. His parents were hesitant at first but started coming around. But all of a sudden he told me that he was not ready for marriage. We do care for each other but I am not so sure anymore if I should still pursue this. My reason for doing istikahara was to see if I should just wait and be patient for him to come around or otherwise just forget him completely.

I the first 3 nights I did have positive dreams. And also I had positive results during the day from what I belived was bringing him closer to me. Then on the 4th day in the morning I have this overwhelming feeling of happiness and contentness. I have never felt anything so strong as this. But in the afternoon when I was talking to this guy over the phone, he mentioned again that he was not ready for marriage. He said this all in a light hearted voice but it was enough to upset me. In the evening we spoke again and he was ok. That night I did istikhara for the 5th time. Then the next day again I got a positive result in the morning.

So I am confused as to the result of the istikhara. I have been told and have read that you should perform istikhara 3,5, or 7 times. For 4 days I belive I was seeing positive results until that conversation but then the 5th day more positive results. It doesn't seem like that the distance between us is increasing.

How do I handle the confliction results? Is one "bad" sign enough to trump the positive ones?

Anyone that can offer some advise would be great.

But thats the thing. for 4 days I felt as though my heart was telling me to be patient and wait for it. But later in the 4th day it was the opposite. Then again the 5th day that I should be patient..So I'm confused.

istikhara means - seeking good.

first and foremost the person performing istikhara should be on a higher spiritual level. someone who stays away from sin and who does thier obligatory acts. also someone who is spiritually 'in God's proximity'.

of course that is if u want the best and most clear results.

secondly - istikhara is not a first step.

steps prior to istikhara:  dua, consultation, prayer, giving saddaqa.

again that is if you want the best and most clear results.


lastly: keep in mind istikhara is a guide, and although it is not obligatory to follow it. it is better to.


WWW.INSIGHT-INFO.COM

then we are talking about different kinds of istikhara.

the istikhara i was reffereing to is the istikhara that is usually done by a learned person - and not just learned but one close to allah a spiritual individual. it can be done with dhikr beads or with the Quran.

the purpose is to seek guidance for an action you wish to do - after taking the prior steps mentioned in my previous post.

for example- i am ddoubtful about moving to a particular country for marriage or work etc.

i can have someone do istikhara and that will reveal an answer and guide as to what is good for not to do.




Edited by sulooni