Marriage For my Daughter

Assalam 3leykom Wara7matollahi Wabarakattoh

 

Dear brothers and sisters in Islam. I have been an active reader but never a participant to this site but MashaAllah I believe that it is a great site. So I decided to register because I have had a concern that has always been a major distress. I am a 66 years old woman with an only child of 28 years. I have been a mother for a very long time and of course I�ve yearned to be a grandmother. But that is not the issue.

 

I would appreciate any feedbacks and advise I could possibly get to help me and my daughter get through this. I am her only family member presently living with her here (NW). We do not have any family members except extended relatives who do not live close by. Her dad passed away about five years ago and since then my daughter had been the bread winner. I used to work but had retired for almost 10 years now. She works and is a very responsible individual MashaAllah.

 

Both of our concern is that she has never had the privilege of being asked for her hand in marriage. The place we live in has very few Muslims. I rarely go out and she on the other hand works and does part time school and never gets a moment to mingle with friends. But Al7amdulillah her problem is not that she�s socially inept. It�s just that she rarely gets a chance to visit with friends and even if she did get a chance it�s mostly non-Muslims as the place lacks a good Muslim community.

 

We all know that it is Haraam to be promiscuous so that is not even an option. Meaning she has never dated and I would never encourage her to date. So the real dilemma is; if she does not go out on dates, has very few friends (more like colleagues and not a Muslim companions) who are mostly non-Muslims, if the community we live in is mostly un-Islamic, and we have both prayed so hard. What other options do we have? What advice can I give her?

 

It has been relayed (I can�t really quote from anything) that Islam encourages hardworking. Meaning you cannot sit and do nothing yet say that you are praying for something and expecting it to happen. But rather you should work hard for it. Hence we�ve even tried a couple of Islamic Matrimonial websites but to no avail. I am as much frustrated as my daughter for I feel helpless. We have been living in an isolated environment and for the life of me I can�t think of anyone that I could introduce my daughter to. I feel really bad for her and as her mother I feel I have accomplished nothing for my daughter. We have prayed so hard that sometimes I admit that I have kufur (sinned) by thinking that Allah SWT does not heed our prayers. Please give me any advice. I might have overlooked something. What can I do for my daughter? JazakaAllah.

 

 

 

Wa'alaikum salaam wa rahamtullahi wa barakatuhu Sis Zahriegn,


Sorry I cannot offer any constructive advise. :(
Just wanted to drop in and say that you are not alone in this situation. Despite globalisation, many muslims living in non-muslim societies go through what you are going. (Actually, even in Muslim societies ppl go through this!) May Allah give ease to all of them. Allah will surely reward you all for the extra effort you have to make while striving as a Muslim in an isolated environment.

Matrimonial Websites don't often give results, unfortunately. I hope you do PM Sis Hayfa, hopefully inshAllah she shall have some good advise.

Which is the nearest Mosque to you? Often Mosques in the west have some sort of matchmaking concept. Since its a community hub. Perhaps you could try asking. Or google up big Mosques near you, they may have a website, and they sometimes offer matchmaking services. Hope that works.

Meanwhile - just remind yourself, that marriage, that like any other part of life is part of the fate and "qismet" that Allah ordained for us. You never know when, how and to whom. Allah works in mysterious ways ! And when we look around ourselves and contemplate we come to realize that. I have seen so many such examples around me, sometimes it simply stumps me!

Will inshAllah try to remember you in my duas,
Take Care Sis and do stick around !

salaam malkum my sister..yes your not alone in this struggle..i live in a city with a nice muslim population, and its still hard to find a companion...just trust that allah knows best....

I did a deadly sin..i am new in this forum,plz sum1 help me out and discuss with me